From The Depths Of DVD Hell

Title: Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame

Director: Tsui Hark
Released: 2010
Starring: Andy Lau, Carina Lau, Li Bingbing, Tony Leung Ka-Fai, Chao Deng

Plot: In 689 A.D., the Empress Wu Zetian (Lau) is building a 66 m high statue of Buddha for her inauguration as the first empress of China under the objections and conspiracy of the other clans. When the engineer responsible for the construction mysteriously dies by spontaneous combustion, the superstitious workers are afraid since the man removed the good luck charms from the main pillar. Keen to complete the construction, Empress Wu assigns her loyal assistant Shangguan Jing'er (Bingbing) to release the exiled Detective Dee (Lau) from his imprisonment to investigate with the albino inspector Donglai (Deng) aswell as Jing'er to solve the mystery of the deaths.

Review: Currently I’m in the process of moving house and facing not being able to transfer the sky+ box across. So now I’m currently in the process of clearing the films I taped with every intention of watching the next day only for them to remain on the box unwatched for the best part of a year, while I got distracted with watching other things, which is essentially the case with the pile of DVD’s sitting by the TV which constantly threatens to fall over and kill me (but what a way to go). For one reason or another this has been sat in my watch pile for a while, which now I’ve finally got around to seeing it only makes it more of a shame that I put off watching it for so long.

Playing like a kung fu version of Sherlock Holmes, the character of Dee is largely based on Di Renjie, a celebrated official of the Tang Dynasty, who’d previously been made famous with Robert van Guik’s series of Judge Dee mysteries and now under the direction of Tsui Hark here makes his spectacular screen debut, with this fast paced and action packaged film with Lau bringing an easy sense of stoic confidence, aswell as capturing the passionate patriotism of the character, even after spending the last eight years imprisoned for opposing the rule of the Empress. At the same time like Holmes he has his own set of quirks, starting with his own self-imposed (yet temporary) blindness while imprisoned, which he explains away as being part of his attempts to shut out the world around him.

For this investigation through Dee also gets suitably strong support from both Shangguan Jing’er and Donglai, with both bringing their own attitudes and skils to the case, with Shangguan fiercely loyal to the Empress she is constantly suspect of Dee, especially considering what he was imprisoned for in the first place. Adding to their issues is the sexual tension between these two characters, which is only added to by Dee holding zero interest in her in that way. Donglai on the hand resents Dee for taking over the case he was originally assigned, only to be overruled by the Empress who instead assigns Dee in charge of the case and even though Dee is not the sort of character who engages in blazing rows, but instead constantly keeps a calm demeanour and uses the facts to lead the others. Despite their differences Donglai still brings a lot of to the investigation, as their duty to uphold the law unites them together.

This trio might be a crack investigation team, but they only add to their strength as a team with some truly amazing martial arts skills, with Shangguan carrying her whip which is more of an extension of her arm and seemingly comes with a million uses seeing how handy it comes in throughout the case. Dee though gets the coolest weapon, with his dragon-taming mace, which is essentially a long metal pole, whose spinning attachment helps locate the weak spot of his opponents weapon so that his strikes cause it to shatter, something which proves to be equally effective on odd bits of architecture as he proves with an early demonstration of the weapons power. The real draw though is with the stunning martial arts sequences and wire work choreographed by Hong Kong legend Sammo Hung who ensures that the action quota is high with a stunning showdown inside the giant Buddha, with each fight scene aiming to give the audience they haven’t seen before.

The actual detective work however is largely grounded in fantastical logic and while the film might not be big on reality, its explanations for things such as the spontaneous combustion is always plausible within the confines of this film, much like Donkey Wang’s ability to use acupuncture to change his face. Not that you will actually question any of these things, thanks to the sense of fun that the film projects it makes such fantastical leaps in logic easy to go along with, even the whole talking deer randomness.

While the film contains a lot of gloss with its stunning scenery and costumes, this is a far more popcorn friendly affair than its “Hero” esq styling would have you believe it to be with Hark clearly making the most of what is possibly one of his largest budgets to date and ensures that it shows on the screen, from the towering Buddha which frequently dominates the screen through to the underground lair of Donkey Wang (yes that is actually his name), with Hark ensuring the film travels through locations as colourful as the characters which inhabit them.

Rarely is it that I will find myself watching a film and instantly wishing for a sequel which was certainly the case here, even if it doesn’t exactly end in the easiest of places for a follow up. No doubt because of this situation the studio are going down the prequel route for their next Detective Dee adventure and even though Lau won’t be returning with the role of Dee set to be played by Mark Chao. Honestly though if it is half as much fun as this film I can hardly wait!

Title: The Cat Returns

Director: Hiroyuki Morita
Released: 2002
Starring: Anne Hathaway, Cary Elwes, Peter Boyle, Ellott Gould, Tim Curry, Andrew Bevis, Judy Geer, Rene Auberjonois, Andy Richter, Kristine Sutherland, Kristen Bell

Plot: When Haru (Hathaway) rescues a mysterious cat from being hit by a truck, she soon finds herself unwittingly set to wed to the cat Prince Lune (Bevis) under the orders of the Cat King (Curry) while slowly finding herself turning into a cat. Now her only hope lies with the dapper Baron (Elwes) and his portly sidekick Muta (Boyle).

Review: For those of you who ever wondered what the Bowie staring classic “Labyrinth” would have been like had the main characters been replaced with cats, this film is essentially the answer to that question, much like how “Battle: Los Angeles” answers the question of what “Black Hawk Down” would have been like with a bunch of alien warlords.. True it might not be a scene for scene remake per say, but the general atmosphere between the two films can certainly be compared, with a girl being whisked away to a fantastical kingdom and having to battle to find her way out, let alone the fact that this film also features its own labyrinth.

Originally starting life under the title of “Cat Project” in 1999 after Studio Ghibli received a request from a theme park to create a 20 minute short staring cats. Despite the theme park cancelling the project, studio head Hayao Miyazaki kept the project as a way of vetting future directors. The project would eventually be given director Morita, who’d previously worked as an animator for the studio on “My Neighbours the Yamadas”. Aswell as being the sole feature he has directed for Ghibli, it is also sadly one of the lesser seen features, which is such a shame considering what a great starting point to the Ghibli back catalogue it provides with its simple and fun storyline. At the same time its slender 75 min run time barely counts as being feature length, while only leaving you wanting more by the time the film ends, though sadly a sequel has yet to happen, which at the same time is hardly surprising considering the company is hardly renown for making sequels to any of their features.

While perhaps smaller in scale than some of the Ghibli such as “Princess Mononoke” or “Laputa: Castle In The Sky”, it is perhaps because of this that the film is such an easy watch and one which despite lacking the scale still manages to maintain the usual Ghibli charm and magic we have come to expect from their features, as even if you’re not the biggest fan of cats, it is hard to not be charmed by some of the characters seen here, with my personal favourites being the cats whose markings make them look like secret service agents and who are shown throwing stray cats out of the way of the Cat King. Equally present is the fun and playful sense of humour, which only comes more into play once the story enters the Cat Kingdom, were the frequently slapstick humour really comes into play.

The humour while slapstick in its focus, also throws in a few surreal laughs for good measure as entertainers who fail to entertain the king or even members of his court who laugh at things he doesn’t find funny, soon find themselves thrown out of a window. Meanwhile fights usually breakdown into fights of off screen chaos as furniture and stray weaponry flies through the air and soldiers more often than not collapse like dominos which have such a sense of fun even with their OTT nature that is hard to not enjoy these moments, especially as they only grow more madcap as the film progresses and perfectly suits the mood of the film, which despite the occasional moment were the film tries to do something more serious like the fantastical tide of cats which whisks Haru away, the tone of the film is largely comedic.

The characters we see here while on first appearances (outside of the baron) frequently might seem on the surface alittle plain, even more so when you compare them to some of the colourful characters we have seen in other Ghibli features, they are for the majority of them still made memorable thanks to some great voice work, though saying that I can currently only vouch for the dubbed version of this film, with Ghibli films often being notable for the differences in how characters come across, with Jiji in “Kiki’s Delivery Service” being a prime example. Sadly though I was let down by an almost unrecognisable Tim Curry at The Cat King, who had I not read through the credits, I would have never believed that it was him. The Standout here though is Boyle who portrays the food obsessed Muta like a grumpy version of Porthos from “The Three Musketeers”, with his food obsession leading to what could have been one of the more unusual deaths via drowning in jelly.

The animation is of the usual polished standard we have come to expect from Ghibli, with some stunning backgrounds, which only making the world seem all the more real, with the character animation in particularly focusing on what cats would look like if they walked on their hind paws, though opting to look past the awkward movements this would no doubt cause, with Morita happily leaving it at just permanently limp paws.

It is a shame that “The Cat Returns” is as frequently overlooked as it is, even more so when it is in favour of the likes of “My Neighbour Totoro” whose memorable titular character failed to spawn for myself atleast a memorable adventure. However with Studio Ghibli’s popularity ever increasing hopefully it will be one which later truly find the recognition it deserves.

Title: Sightseers

Director: Ben Wheatly
Released: 2012
Starring: Steve Oram, Alice Lowe, Eileen Davis, Richard Glover, Monica Dolan, Jonathan Aris, Richard Lumsden

Plot: A decidedly British black comedy, which finally fills the space for a Natural Born Killers meets Caravan holiday crossover (for anyone who’s been holding out for such a thing) as caravan enthusiast Chris (Oram) takes his shy and retiring girlfriend Tina (Alice Lowe) on what they hope will be a dream sightseeing holiday in his caravan, only to end up on an impromptus killing spree.

Review: For myself and my fellow brits here on this rain soaked isle, there are few things which seem so British as the idea of the caravanning holiday, were you forgo the comfort and luxury of a hotel room, to sit in the middle of a field while generally doing your business into a chemical toilet. This is of course after you have finished being the bane of every motorist you cut off or delay with the monstrosity you have chosen to tow behind your car. No doubt the people who enjoy these sorts of holidays being viewed as the least likely inspiration for a pair of serial killers, but here it is an idea which works surprisingly well, as the leather cladded “Natural Born Killers” Mickey and Mallory are exchanged for out knitware loving duo, which even extends in Tina’s case to a lovely pair of knitted crotch less panties (no sure how that would work out in real life, much less how well knitware lends itself to lingerie).

I would say to start that the best way to view this film is really to go in as blind as possible, which having said that it is far from the easiest thing I know in these times were information on any film is ever only a mouse click away. Equally problematic is the trailer, which while it does a great job of selling the film, perhaps gives away a little too much of the potential surprises the film could have delivered and something which frequently proved to be a real frustration when watching the film and knowing that so many moments could had been a lot more effective had I not know they were coming. Perhaps with this in mind you should just bookmark this review and come back when you have seen this film to avoid any potential spoilers I may leak throughout, while ensuring the maximum amount of surprise from this truly original film.

Both Chris and Tina are far from your text book serial killers with their love of knitwear and genuine desire to visit the frequently twee tourist attractions such Crich Tramway Museum and Keswick Pencil Museum, with their desire to kill usually being triggered by those who don’t fit into their world view or more frequently anyone who they believe has disrespected them, be it a litterbug or upper class snobs, one way or another the duo soon find a way to settle the score and in their mind restore the balance. Still when we first meet them, you would never think that either of these two would be capable of such random acts of violence. Tina in particular though is the most interesting, seeing how when we meet her she introduced as an awkward soul who is shown living a sheltered life, still living at home with her hypochondriac mother, a situation which has seemingly resulted in her withdrawing into herself, with her relationship with Chris being an attempt to break out of this rut, especially since her mother has never forgiven her for accidently killing the family dog in a bizarre knitting needle accident.

While initially it is Chris who does the killing, covering for his murderous tendencies by making his murders look like accidents, as he hides this side of his world from Tina only for her to soon become drawn into this side of things, as she finally explores her own murderous side which is frequently hinted at before she reveals it, though as the duo embrace this new world view based on Chris’s theories of each death helping to restore the balance, it is only a matter of time before things soon start to spiral out of control, which soon becomes one of the main focuses of the film as director Wheatly unflinchingly charts the deterioration of their relationship as you wonder how it will all end, while ensuring that this pitch black comedy is only painted in the darkest shades.

Due to their killing spree antics It is impossible to view this film without drawing comparisons to “Natural Born Killers” and perhaps to a lesser extent the controversial French thriller “Base-Moi”, both of which seem to have been a key influence in the creation of this film, but while Chris and Tina might be getting the same arousal from their killing, with each one usually followed by enthusiastic sex scenes, but the key difference here though is that they don’t have to kill to fill some unquenchable thirst for violence and death like their counterparts, but instead it truly is about restoring the balance for them. The deaths though are certainly as original as they frequently are brutal with bludgeoning’s and even the caravan itself being used as the means of despatch for their victims, with some great special effects on show even though Wheatly doesn’t take the film into slasher territory by giving it a high body count, he does however ensure that when someone dies they do in it is suitably memorable, especially as he teases out each kill by slowly cranking up the anticipation until the inevitable conclusion.

“Sightseers” is certainly an interesting film and Wheatly here really surprises us with this surprise change of style, especially after the pitch black thrillers “Down Terrace” and the cinematic marmite “Kill List” which truly proved to be the sort of film which divides audiences, which is no doubt what will happen with this film, even more so when Wheatly’s brand of black humour is so dark that it won’t be to everyone’s tastes while the humour being more incidental than the trailer would you have you believe it is no doubt making it far from the easiest watch for most movie goers, especially those without a slightly warped sense of humour, which is essentially who this film will most appeal to, making it certainly what you would call a niche film. Seeing how so much the of the film is based on British culture, I am especially curious to see how this film translates to audiences outside of the UK and whether it will manage the same appeal that Edger Wright’s (who appears here as executive producer) equally British culture influenced projects like ”Spaced”, “Hot Fuzz” and “Shawn of The Dead” have managed. For now it remains a darkly comedic curiosity, but one which you will likely only watch once as it holds little to reward repeat viewings.

Title: If…

Director: Lindsay Anderson
Released: 1968
Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Richard Warwick, Christine Noonan, David Wood, Robert Swann, Peter Jeffrey, Arthur Lowe

Plot: Following Mick and his friends, as their fond feelings towards their boarding school are slowly pushed out as they suffer a series of indignities and abuse at the hands of the teachers and senior boys known the “Whips”, eventually leading to their violent rebellion.

Review: Every now and then I will encounter a film which by the time it ends I am left with the conundrum of how I’m actually going to actually review it. This was certainly the case here, as this is defiantly one of the more original films I have seen of late and one which rewards the patience of the viewer, while equally challenging them as the road to their rebellion slowly reveals itself as it proves itself to be just as memorable now as the year it was released. At the same time it is equally noteworthy for the screen debut of McDowell in a role which would lead to Kubrick casting him as the lead Droog “Alex” in his legendry “A Clockwork Orange” after seeing his surprisingly mature performance here and one which McDowell also considers his favourite.

While the plot might seem a fairly straightforward (well on paper atleast), Anderson instead chooses here to craft something rather different, as surreal imagery meets with the eccentricities of the boarding school system, while he highlights such old traditions as “fagging” were the first year boys branded here as “Scum” are made to act like servants for the prefects or “Whips” who have long since grown corrupt with the power they have been given. The film itself meanwhile is divided up into chapters which seemingly have no link to each other, apart from to highlight further the gradually increasing rebellious behaviour of Mick and his group, though it would seem the seeds have been sown long before we join them, with Stephen drawing comparisons between Mick and Guy Fawkes, while the boys cover their dorm walls with Mao, Che Guevara aswell as the Vietnam war which echo the political changes dominating the headlines at the time.

As the film progresses we are slowly introduced to the inner workings of the school, were the teachers frequently show eccentric behaviour and often suffer from various perversions as memorably seen with the Chaplain who frequently gropes and pinches members of his geometry class, while in an utterly bizarre scene we see Mick’s house master (Lowe) singing hymns while his wife tunelessly accompanies him on her recorder as the matron listening in next door is driven to near orgasm by the sound…well to each their own I guess. Elsewhere the whips are seen growing increasingly corrupt by the power they have been given by the faculty, even handing out corporal punishment, as seen during a brutal and prolonged caning of Mick and his friends which is only made worse when tradition demands that they shake hands and thank the whips when it is over. Anderson meanwhile ensuring that the lines between the establishment and Mick’s crusader’s is kept clear cut as he ensures that he can provide suitable justification for their final resolution.

No doubt Anderson could have shot this film in a more straightforward way than he chooses to here, instead drawing influence from Jean Vigo’s“Zéro de conduite” aka “Zero for Conduct”, which like this film drew extensively from its directors boarding school experiences. As a result the film gives us such surreal moments as the boys seeing how long they can hold a plastic bag over their heads, as the camera remains fixed on Mick’s asphyxiating face. Elsewhere things only getting increasingly bizzare with the headmaster being shown hiding the school Chaplin in a giant drawer in his office, or Mick suddenly engaging in an animalistic sex scene with a local waitress (Noonan) moments after meeting her, a scene which was only included at the suggestion of McDowell, who came up with it as a way to see her nude, even though many highbrow critics would no doubt apply some pretentious alternative meaning to the scene, much like the films infrequent switches between colour and black and white, which is less about artistic statement and more about the film running out of money during production so Anderson decided to save money by processing selected scenes in Monocrome. The effect is undeniably effective and one which helps to keep the viewer disorientated, especially when they frequently appear randomly and without warning.

Like Brando’s “The Wild One” this film has a legacy of controversy which has followed it since its release with critics at the time eagerly tying it the student protests sweeping through France at the time, which was only fuelled further by Anderson’s association with the counterculture of the time, while later critics have viewed it as a precursor to high school shootings like Columbine. The latter comparison though is an interesting one especially for while on the surface it may seem like an obvious influence, but only falls flat with alitle deeper digging, for while the Columbine killers were obvious psychopaths, Mick and his group are purposely directed at removing an evil blight, while carrying with him the motto that “One man can change the world with a bullet in the right place”. Needless to say it is hard to not side with their perhaps extreme and sudden retribution.

While perhaps not the easiest film to watch, it is hard to deny the frequently startling and memorable imagery contained within, while on first viewing the climatic shoot out a little anti-climactic especially when it is confined within the last ten minutes of the film, yet frequently talked about with such enthusiasm, that you would be mistaken for thinking that it is more than it is. Despite there is something to love about a purple rinse granny packing a machine gun. Certainly not a film to suit all tastes, but a fun curiosity for those who like to challenge themselves occasionally with their movie watching.

Title: John Dies At The End

Director: Don Coscarelli
Released: 2012
Starring: Rob Mayes, Chase Williamson, Clancy Brown, Paul Giamatti, Doug Jones, Glynn Turnman, Fabianne Therese, Daniel Roebuck, Jonny Weston, Jimmy Wong

Plot:On the streets there is a new drug called “Soy Sauce” which not only gives the user latent psychic abilities, but also the ability to drift across time and other dimensions, something which has led to a doorway for an otherworldly invasion being unwittingly opened. So with mankind in need of a hero, worryingly what they get instead is John (Rob Mayes) and David (Chase Williamson) a pair of college dropouts who can barely hold down a job, while receiving back up from the TV psychic (Clancy Brown) whose own psychic powers might not being a fake as they would seem.

Review: I think it’s safe to say that this film is unlikely to be anything resembling a mainstream hit, which is hardly going to be of any surprise to the established fans of director Don Coscarelli, who is probably best known for helming the “Phantasm” series, aswell as turning Elvis into an OAP mummy slayer in “Bubba Ho-Tep”. However considering that his last directing gig was the “Masters of Horror” episode “Incident On and Off a Mountain Road” way back in 2005, it is something of a relief to know that he has not lost any of his trademark randomness in the meantime, as he now returns with this adaptation of David Wong’s cult novel, which in many ways could have been written specifically for him, especially considering the sheer randomness he conjured with his own Phantasm series.

Opening with David beheading an undead skinhead, while philosophically musing over having to replace both the handle and axe head over the numerous attempts it takes him to despatch of this foe and whether this would still make it the same axe. This will be one of the easier questions which the film poses, especially as you find yourself frequently questioning what exactly is supposed to be happening, as David recounts his experiences to reporter Arnie Blondestone (Paul Giamatti) starting with their battle with a monster made of meat products while slowly revealing how he came to encounter the mysterious and seemingly living drug known simply as “Soy Sauce”.

While seemingly recounting a supposedly linear story I couldn’t help but feel like the film was some failed TV show, which had been picked up and then edited into a movie format. Such creeping feelings are only further reinforced as David and John move randomly from battling one threat to another, as the plot involving this mystery drug, soon paves the way for a possession storyline, before throwing that out of the window, so that the boys can travel to another dimension, were the inhabitants all wear masks and walk around topless (not such a bad thing) while being ruled by a the sentient machine Korrok, who has a habit of feeding those who oppose him to giant spiders. Incase you haven’t realised it already; it is safe to say that this is one truly random ass trip though time and space, even more so when you consider that at one point David is forced to communicate to John telepathically with the aid of a hotdog.

A film like this only really works if all involved are committed to the joke, which thankfully can be said for the cast comprised of largely unknowns, outside of cult cinema favourite Brown and Giamatti, while Doug Jones who is probably better known for his CGI motion capture work, appears here in a rare unsuited role. Still both Mayes and Williamson are both engaging and believable leads, even though it is left to Williamson to carry the film for the most part, it only serves to up the crazy factor when they are finally brought together and makes me hope that Coscarelli will direct an adaptation of the follow up novel “This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don’t Touch It” especially as this film so perfectly sets up what could make for a great series of misadventures, such like “Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil”, though I guess that will depend heavily on how this film is received.

The fact this film is so unlike anything currently being released in the mainstream, is something which only plays to its advantage, for while the plotting is largely incoherent as the film swerves between plot points like a drunk driver, with Coscarelli occasionally taking hold of the wheel to give us a burst of coherency, only to then pile further randomness on top of things, with such random plotting almost ensuring that it will appeal to a select audience at best. However at the same time there is something surreally wonderful about how this film is put together, much like the underrated “Southland Tales” and a film which I would say this is most easy to compare to, especially when it never strays into the same deeply bizarre realm operated in chiefly by David Lynch, with its random film references which include a nod to both “Return of the Jedi” and more sneeringly “The Sixth Sense” only further warming it to its indie audience, aswell as Coscarelli’s established fanbase who will no doubt already be used to this incoherent style of film plotting from his previous films.

Far from the easiest of films to sell, especially as it has every potential of being viewed as a cult classic in the making, while highlighting to the Coscarelli fan base that his time away from the director’s chair hasn’t caused him to lose his highly original style, with original certainly being the key word for describing this film, which while not to everyone’s tastes will certainly appeal to the more adventurous movie goer aswell as fans of “Todd and the Book of Pure Evil” which is the closest comparison to anything I can draw, other than saying that this film does for Horror and inter-dimensional time travel what Douglas Adams did for sci-fi. Still if you’re looking for one of the more original releases of this year, look no further!

Over at Fandango Groovers Movie Blog he has given the blogging community yet another great blogathon to get excited about with "Mixtape movies"

So many times an actor will find themselves being typecast as a particular role, be it the wisecracking hero, the ditzy heroine or comedy sidekick. However what has always held a fascination with myself is the idea of the surprise badass. A character type which frequently comes from nowhere, more often than not when we have classed an actor of playing one type of role, only for them to suddenly unleash a radically different and as is the case with several of my movie choices a much darker side. So lets explore this cinematic curiosity further by allowing me to present my Surprise Badass Mixtape

Shoot ‘Em Up (Paul Giamatti)

For the longest time Giamatti has been a favourite on the indie scene, making a name for himself as a supporting character and frequently in roles which saw him playing flustered supporting or social awkward characters. Always a dialogue driven actor, “Shoot ‘Em Up” take his strength with dialogue and essentially puts a large gun in his hand, as here he truly makes for a great villain as he snarls, wisecracks and even trick shots his way through the film, with a single minded determination to get his hands on the baby which Mr Smith (Clive Owen) has been tasked with protecting, in this life action version of Bugs Bunny Vs. Elmer Fudd.....only with a shitload of guns.

Largely ignored on its release it has only now started gaining the cult following it deserves as it frequently lives up to director Michael Davis’s claim that “This is John Woo’s wet dream”.

Cliffhanger (John Lithgow)

When this film was released most of us were more familiar with Lithgow madcap antics on “3^rd Rock From The Sun” as Dick Soleman the leader of a team of undercover aliens trying to study human behaviour with more than questionable results. Here he gives us what could only be described as the flipside of his on screen persona with his portrayal of Eric Qualen the leader of a group of thieves. So evil is his character that he doesn’t even think twice about killing off his girlfriend, so that he can maintain the upperhand while generally caring more about collecting his ill-gotten gains than any member of his team, who are frequently seen in his eyes as disposable, while also proving himself surprisingly handy in a fist fight with Stallone.

It is such an amazing performance he gives here and one only made all the better from his audience likely being more familiar with his usual happy-go-lucky style than anything so dark. True unlike some of the characters on this list he might not kick a lot of ass, his pitch black evil streak is more than enough to earn him a place here.

Aliens (Jenette Goldstein)

You need only look at Goldstein’s acting resume to realise the reason that James Cameron calls her “The Human Chameleon”, I mean do you remember her as Jenelle in “Terminator 2: Judgement Day”? What about the maid in “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”? Hows about the Irish mother in “Titanic”? Chances are that if you’re like me you didn’t, which is what makes her such a surprising badass (only kind of in reverse) as rather than carve a career playing roles similar to her stand out performance here as Vasquez it remains her sole badass role.

Vasquez is memorable not only for being a badass, but for giving us a rival alpha female to Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley, as she proves herself more than (aswell as frequently more) capable to holding her own with her male marine counterparts, as especially proven during the marine’s first contact with the titular aliens, as while those around her are losing their heads and turning themselves into easy alien pray, she simply weigh up the situation and screams “Let’s Rock”. So much of a badass is Vasquez she even ensures that she goes out with a warrior death with the help of a handy grenade.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (Linda Hamilton)

If there was one badass on this list that I wouldn’t want to face it would have to be Sarah Connor, who here is a far cry from when we met her previously, having spent the years since her first confrontation with The Terminator having left her training for the prophesied Judgement Day. However having been confined to a mental institution after her failed attempt to bomb a computer factory, she is has taken on an almost feral state when we meet her again. It’s a startling transformation and one which only becomes only clearer when you compare the Sarah Connor of the first film with the version we see here.

Hamilton’s commitment to accurately portraying the role only further helps here, as she went under an extensive training regime, which saw her losing 12 pounds via a non-fat diet, while also taking on judo and military training to help further hone the character to the pinnacle of badassery, as here is 100% pure alpha female!

Zombieland (Woody Harrelson)

When I think of Harrelson it is always his more comedic roles, which he has spent most of his career, usually playing in some variation of his breakthrough role as Woody on "Cheers"

True he might have given us a badass turn prior to this film as Mickey in “Natural Born Killers”, but it was mainly showcased at the end with everything else being generally mindless violence as part his and Mallory’s psychotic nature. Here however as Tallahassee he is purely about kicking zombie ass, with enough time having passed since “Natural Born Killers” to ensure him a place on this list, as it truly feels like a new side we are seeing to Harrelson, while his last stand from a carnival stand over further cementing his place here on the list.

And now for my wildcard entry on this mix I give you….

The Rock (Sean Connery)

Okay, Okay I know your all no doubt questioning how Sean Connery could be considered a surprising badass, after all here is a man who 95% consider to be the definitive James Bond, who all future Bonds are measured against.

So why did I choose to include him on the list? Well while Connery might have kicked a lot of ass as Bond, but it was always with a witty remark which defused the violence of what had just witness him do. Here as ex SAS member Mason, he essentially gives us an elderly Bond only with a more badass edge, as he proves that age has zero effect on his ass kicking abilities, judging by the impressive body count he racks up while still snarling out classic lines like

"Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”

True Connery might be an established badass, but here he proved that he was still as capable even in the twilight years of his acting career.

So there you have it my personal favourite surprise badasses, but who else has pulled their own Surprise badass moment?

Title: Detachment
Director: Tony Kaye
Released: 2011
Starring: Adrian Brody, Sami Gayle, James Cann, Lucy Liu, Betty Kaye, Christina Hendricks, Marcia Gay Harden, Bryan Cranston and Blythe Danner

Plot: Chronicling of three weeks in the lives of several high school teachers, administrators and students through the eyes of a substitute teacher Henry Barthes (Brody).

Review: Tony Kaye has had something of a troubled history when it has comes to his feature film projects with his astounding debut “American History X” suffering from considerable studio interference leading Kaye to disown the final cut, while failing to have his name removed from the film. With no copy of Kaye’s preferred cut in known existence it remains to be seen which was the stronger version. Meanwhile Kaye’s second feature “Black Water Transit” would also suffer from studio issues when the production company went bankrupt during filming, leaving it unfinished alongside projects by Taylor Hackford and David O Russell. Now finally after what seems like an eternity we finally get a new film from Kaye as he turns his attention to the decline of the education system in American high schools and the struggle facing substitute teacher Henry Barthes (Brody), who is still determined to reach out to the disillusioned and often unteachable students, while his fellow teachers try to cope in their own ways with the stresses of their daily routine. At the same time Henry is also attempting to save a teenage prostitute Erica (Gayle) from a life on the streets, as he tries to take what he teaches out of the classroom.

Opening with interview footage with whom I assume are real teachers, sharing their views on teaching, aswell as what drew them to the profession, while this is intercut with this real life black and white footage we have colour footage of Henry, speaking almost confession ally about his own situation. Still despite the odds being stacked against him, with students who couldn’t care less about their educational prospects, while his fellow staff have largely given up or switched to a diet of cynicism, dark humour or “Happy Pills” with many just about ready to crack from the pressure cooker the school has become and yet Henry refuses to quit. Meanwhile outside of his classes, his outside life provides even less shelter from the daily issues, as he constantly has to deal with neglectful care home staff supposedly looking after his senile grandfather, while he lives out of a minimalist apartment and still despite these additional stresses, he remains focused on trying to save these kids, who everyone else has seemingly turned their back on.

Now please don’t start thinking that this is another bad class turned around by one good teacher kind of movie, as Kaye expands the focus beyond the classroom and often the school itself to paint a grim picture of society as a whole rather than just the failings and shortcomings of the public school system, as we are shown scenes like a hauntingly empty parents night were teacher sit in empty classrooms waiting for parents who will never come, no doubt having seemingly left the schools to raise their delinquent children. Even the moments of supposed colour in this dark world such as Henrys attempts to reach out to an outcast student (played by Kaye’s own daughter Betty) or even his attempt to save Erica are ultimately set to be swallowed by the darkness as it soon becomes about seeing what will finally make Henry crack.

Showing real confidence in terms of storytelling Kaye, thinks nothing of cutting away to scenes of other teachers trying to deal with the situation which surrounds them, with James Cann’s manically grinning jester Mr Seaboldt, twisting the obsenity riddled words of a student or addressing another’s questionable sense of school attire providing several of the films standout moments, much like Lucy Liu’s guidance councillor who finally cracks when faced with a teen with a highly delusional sense of reality and causing her to berating the teen with a bleak prophesy of their future, as she scream uselessly at them

“You will NOT be a model! You will forever be on a carousel, competing with 80% of the country for a minimum wage job for the rest of your life!”

True at times it can seem like a cameo fest, especially with Kaye casting Christina Hendricks, Marcia Gay Harden, Bryan Cranston and Blythe Danner, but I’m hardly complaining when their performances are often so suitably raw and believable.

Brody meanwhile is truly believable throughout, as he continues his recent chain of great performances, only making me wonder why he is still overlooked as an actor, with this film only adding further fuel to the argument, as he delivers monologues to his class in the hope that they will finally realise the importance of getting an education, while even the subtle way he handles an initial aggressive confrontation with one of his students to trashing his classroom after being accused of misconduct by a fellow teacher, it is really hard to find fault here, with the ones I could find such as him the subplot involving Erica coming off at times more than a little unlikely, being more in relation to the script rather than his performances.

While it might not paint the most rosy of pictures of the day to day life of teachers, it at least attempts to end on a positive note, with Henry reading the opening to “The House of Usher” as the camera moves surreally through an abandoned school, leaving the audience with the impression that there is still hope left for the situation. Still it remains a triumphant follow up to “American History X” and while perhaps slightly harder to watch, it hopefully marks the start of a new beginning for Kaye as a feature film director as this is bold and exciting film making at its best.

Title: Antiviral

Director: Brandon Cronenberg
Released: 2012
Starring: Caleb Landry Jones, Sarah Gadon, Malcom McDowell, Douglas Smith, Joe Pingue, Nicholas Campbell, James Cade, Lara Jean Chorostecki

Plot: Syd March (Jones) is an employee at the Lucas clinic selling injections of live viruses harvested from sick celebrities to their obsessed fans. Syd unknown to his employers also has a sideline supplying illegal samples of these viruses to piracy groups, smuggling them from the clinic in his own body. However when he becomes infected with the disease that kills super sensation Hannah Geist (Gadon), Syd must unravel the mystery surrounding her death before he suffers the same fate.

Review: It’s always going to be difficult for the offspring of a famous director when they decide to follow in their parents footsteps and throw their hat into the directorial ring. Meanwhile the more cynical critics eagerly await the first opportunity to draw comparisons between their work and that of their more established parent, while often covering for their stalled attempts at breaking into directing by sneering that the sole reason they are able to make their film is due to their parents legacy. It’s an attitude I try to avoid when faced with these circumstances….well except when its the likes of the intolerable Peaches Geldof.

Thankfully safe to say he has made an intriguing debut to say the least, while one which at the same time seems equally at home amongst the familiar themes of his father, especially seeing how the two seem to share a love for the themes of infection and mutation, which have served his father so well over the course of his career and it is something very key to this film which fully embraces them with the same warped fascination Cronenberg snr. does. Equally at the same time he has also found certainly unique way of exploring society’s on going obsession with celebrity as the Lucas company deals on a warped version of these celebrity obsessions, were obsessed fans can for a price be infected with the same diseases as their idols. Still it would seem it is not enough to just peddle these celebrity diseases, seeing how the company employees have turned their trade in disease and infection into what could almost be seen as an art form, as especially seen during a scene in which Syd is shown advising one client one the best location to receive a shot of a celebrity herpes to replicate contracting said disease through a kiss.

Set in what could only be perceived as being the near future, seeing how Cronenberg doesn’t seem to have much of an interest in doing anything to assign a particular date to things, mixing things up frequently by combining shots of the sterile white minimalist offices of the Lucas clinic with essentially the flipside which in this case is the downtown traders who deal in celebrity steaks in an environment much like a butchers shop, only here dealing in manufactured celebrity flesh than any of the more traditional sources, something which trader Avid (Pringue) assures Syd that it’s not quite cannibalism – But they’ll get there soon enough. Despite playing both sides of the celebrity disease trade, Syd is still a low level player on either side, but given a chance to take a sample from his employer’s biggest client Hannah Geist he soon finds himself in a situation he is far from equipped to deal with, especially when Geist suddenly dies. This of course is a situation only made worst by the fact that Syd intentionally infects himself with the diseases he is smuggling, leading him not only a desperate quest to find out what exactly she was infected with, but also caught up in a game of industrial espionage, as both sides try to claim the virus he is carrying.

Bizarrely considering this is his main plotline, things are played surprisingly straightforward and at times perhaps alittle more underplayed than I would have liked, especially when he only occasionally throws in a surprise twist to maintain the audiences interest, with more of his focus seemingly on the more surreal moments of the film which includes a random biomechanical transformation seemingly coming out of nowhere while the tone he has chosen here is decidedly icy throughout while he is at the same time clearly striving to carve out his own film making identity still manages to draw comparisons to the later films of his father. However throughout Cronenberg is keen to not take things to far into the fantastic realm, while allowing himself a brief fantastical moment, by giving his virus’s a blurred face as part of a copy protection system, due to diseases being viewed as highly guarded intellectual property.

While the subject matter might present every opportunity for gooey visuals, things are surprisingly kept fairly restrained and with none of the grotesque and warped flesh which made his father’s work so memorable. Despite this what gore we do get is effectively used with Cronenberg’s sterile whites only appearing more effective when used as the background from the frequent splashes of crimson blood, while the main focus is clearly with the slowly deteriorating condition of Syd. Still by showing this restraint he does keep the focus with the plot, rather than distracting the audience with imaginative visuals.

The real strength of the film though comes from the casting of Jones, who might at first sight might seem like the cheaper alternative to casting Michael Pritt, with whom he shares a strikingly similar resemblance to. Still despite Jones not having the same star power, especially with his most memorable role to date being as Banshee in “X Men: First Class”, yet despite this he fully embodies the role of Syd, taking on an almost vampire like persona with his pasty white skin and social awkwardness, never smiling and with his sole focus on life being with the sale of his biological wares, rather than anything resembling a life outside of his trade, especially when the closest we see that he has to a friend being with underground trader Avid.

Elsewhere Cronenberg has managed to assembled an equally strong supporting cast, which includes Malcom McDowell (who seems to be trying to currently beat Nicolas Cage for sheer workload) in a brief but none the less effective appearance. Though with Cronenberg putting such focus on Syd, most supporting characters do tend to get overshadowed, especially with Jones giving such a fascinating performance which makes me eager to see what he does next especially with his career at this point only just beginning.

I guess my main issue with this film is that essentially nothing really happens and while it might be all very pretty to look at with the ideas well handled it still makes a testing watch for the less open minded movie goer and even with Cronenberg trimming six minutes off the original run time it can still at times be a an infuriating watch. Nevertheless it is still a fascinating debut and one which shows him keen to establish his own style even if his choice to work with such similar subject matter to his father makes him open to comparison still, while leaving me curious to see how he follows it up.

Title: Ring of Steel

Director: David Frost

Released: 1994
Starring: Joe Don Baker, Carol Alt, Robert Chapin, Darlene Vogel, Gary Kasper, Jim Pirri, Don Stark, Henry Brown, Mark Arnott, Carlos Lauchu, Greg Wrangler, Axel Muench

Plot: Champion fencer Alex (Chapin) suddenly find himself blackballed from the fencing community after accidently killing an opponent during a tournament final. Now with his life in turmoil he is given a chance by a mysterious stranger (Baker) to use his fencing skills by taking part in underground swordfights.

Review: I don’t think I’ve had as random a viewing experience as I did watching this film since I first saw “Xtro 2: The Second Encounter”, as only then did I find myself watching a film which spectacularly fails in certain areas, only to then excel so well in others that it bizarrely manages to balance things out. Does this make for a good film? Maybe not but it does certainly make for an interesting watch to say the least.

Scripted by leading man Chapin, while being later lightened up by director Frost after the studio felt that Chapin’s script was too dark, while after seeing the film now makes it a script I would not love to read, especially after seeing how generally generic the final film turned out to be much like so many tournament martial arts movies, with the sole difference here that the focus is on swordplay rather than hand to hand combat / fighting styles. Something not overly surprising when you consider Chapin’s background (much like most of the cast) is in stage combat and swordplay role with his IMDB profile listing both “Army of Darkness” and “Hook” in his extensive list of credits, which more recently has seen him focusing more on his work in visual effects, aswell as working on his web based vampire series “The Hunted”.

As a lead Chapin is likeable enough, while certainly processing some of the most impressive swordplay skills of any of the actors here, as certainly highlighted during a playful duel between himself and Brian (Pirri), which not only pays homage to “The Court Jester” but has a great sense of fun, as the two trade sarcastic barbs while seemingly playing a game of one upmanship to see who can come up with the most flamboyant move. It is however the swordplay scenes which cover for his shortcomings as an actor, seeing how he approaches the role with a playful attitude but never seeming to be able to transfer his Errol Flynn wit from his duels to any of his other scenes when he doesn’t happen to be in a duel with another character.

The plot is pretty standard affair and none to dissimilar to the old school video game “Barbarian” (sadly without a little guy who kicks the decapitated losers head off screen) with Alex having to fight his way through the ranks to a showdown with the current champion Jack (Kasper), a meathead who seems to be taking fashion tips from “Dog the Bounty Hunter” judging on his dodgy looking mullet, which even for the early 90’s is still not a good luck. Jack for the most part makes for a half decent big evil, even if he is never quite the intimidating force that the film would like you to think he is, much like it can never truly decide who the bad guys are supposed to be seeing how it varied from Baker’s (who is always in great form) unnamed Man in Black, the devious seductress Tanya (Alt) or Jack. Frustratingly none of them other than Jack ever really committing to the position of big evil, let alone having any real kind of plan for Alex outside of forcing him to compete.

Thankfully there is enough action here to keep things ticking over, which is were the real appeal of the film lies, as with most of the cast coming from swordplay backgrounds and most being more known for their stunt work than acting roles and hence ensures that we get to also see a wide range of fighting styles, as Ninja’s, Gladiators and even Alex’s fencing style being used for the entertainment of the crowd, in what could essentially be seen as UFC with weapons! However despite what the title and trailer would have you believe the titular “Ring of Steel” is less of a bloodsport than the film would like you to believe it is, especially considering how there is only one death which actually occurs in a match, with the other matches featured throughout all being fought until one fighter yields to the other, something it is hard to tell if it was the result of script changes or of this was actually intentional. Meanwhile despite Alex being supposedly forced to compete in order to free his girlfriend Elena (Vogel), who is meanwhile being held hostage yet from the amount of fun and buzz he gets from competing it is hard to say he really cares either way if she ever gets set free or not, again something which appears to have been carried over from the original script which saw Alex not being able to recognise her in the original ending after he gets drawn too deep into this world he now finds himself thrust into.

Still randomness is something that film has in spades; even outside of the main plot we are still treated to scenes such as the cosplayer dressed as a barbarian who stumbles into the training session for new fighters, only to soon find himself on the wrong side of a brutal beatdown. However it doesn’t end there, as we also get possibly one of the most bizarre taunts ever, when Alex and Brian decide to taunt Jack by sending a chicken out to the ring a scene which I’ve yet to make any sense of even now as I sit here writing this review, much like the random sex scene less than 15 minutes into the film, which felt unneeded let alone misplaced appearing when it does.

True this is a film with some serious flaws and while it might linger around the ass end of okay, it is still a highly watchable film, whose swordplay angle helps to mix things up to stop it being yet another tournament movie and while the film optimistically hints at a sequel, I can’t say it is something I’m exactly in a rush to see happen anytime soon.

Title: Garden State

Director: Zach Braff
Released: 2004
Starring: Zach Braff, Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Ian Holm, Jean Smart, Armando Riesco, Jackie Hoffman, Method Man, Alex Burns, Jim Parsons, Michael Weston

Plot: Andrew (Braff) is currently working as a semi-successful actor in LA, while largely numb to his surroundings thanks to a life lived on mood stabilisers and antidepressants thanks to a childhood diagnosis by his psychologist father (Holm). Now returning to his hometown of New Jersey to attend his mothers funeral he decides to take a break from his meds and see what life is like off them, while at the same time meeting pathological liar Sam (Portman), who soon joins Andrew as he tries to discover a life without meds

(What no trailer? Blame the studio for not allowing the UK Streaming rights)

Review: Released at the height of Braff's popularity while he was still appearing in “Scrubs”, it is actually a pretty surprising film, seeing how it’s an indie comedy dealing with its lead character taking a break from his life lived on prescription drugs, which is far from the sort of fodder that we have come to expect from directorial debuts being made by well known actors, something which always gets the alarm bells ringing, much less when they open to lead characters being caught in the turmoil of a plane falling out of the sky, while they stare directly into the camera, seemingly numb to the chaos erupting around him. Somehow Braff not only manages to make it work, but also manages to tell a touching story without feeling the need to go all preachy on the subject of prescription drugs and the state of our medicated nation.

Braff while better known for his comedy talents, actually gets to show a more serious side to his acting abilities while he still manages to include numerous humorous moments throughout, but this is largely from natural humour than aiming for laugh out loud funny. Equally Braff has a great ear for dialogue as he drives the film with Andrew interactions with friends from his hometown, rather than visual flair even though it is equally hard to deny that it still a stunningly shot film without noticeably trying, with shots like Andrew riding around on his Motorcycle with sidecar or having leg humped by a seeing eye dog becoming instantly memorable.

Equally memorable are the various characters Andrew encounters, such as former best friend Mark (Sarsgaard) who now works as a grave digger, while also running a number of side-line businesses from desert storm trading cards and exploiting the the refund policy of the local supermarket through to selling the Jewellery of the same people he’s burying. Equally prominent is the character of Sam, who not only comes with her own set of issues being a pathological liar, but she is equally a life loving free spirit and much more than just a quirky love intrest, especially considering how downplayed any feelings they have for each other are downplayed until close the end were Braff finally relents, but until then both of the characters clearly feel something for each other, its just neither no how to express it, no doubt at the result of people viewing them for their issues rather than the person behind them. Portman is notably great in this role as she not only gives one of her strongest performances in years but also brings such a carefree sense of fun to the character, that is hard to not like her infectious enthusiasm or even her more childlike moments such as the one seem during a bathtub confessional she holds with Andrew, when a lesser actress might have overplayed them or made them overly smaltzy.

With the cast on awhole Braff really hit pay dirt with, seeing how upon the films release none (with perhaps the exception of Portman) were especially well known and have since gone onto bigger and better things, which pretty amusing to see so many well-known actors appearing in what is essentially a very low budget film. Infact it was only during the re-watching of this film for this review that I noticed Jim Parson’s (Sheldon from The Big Bang Therory) cameo as a Klingon speaking knight. This luck also carried over to the soundtrack, which Braff not only compiled but also used it to introduce the world to “The Shins” who supply the more memorable parts of the soundtrack including my personal favourite “New Slang”.

In a perfect world Zach Braff would be noted amongst the greats of indie cinema but it has taken him almost ten years to follow this film up with his kickstarter funded “Wish I Was Here” which is due to be released next year were it will finally answer if this film was just a lucky fluke. This is not to say that he hasn’t been directing in the meantime, seeing how he has notched up several episodes of “Scrubs” aswell as music videos for the likes of Gavin DeGraw and Joshua Radin but what I really want to see is more feature work from him, but until then it remains an interesting curiosity on his C.V and one I would love to see him build on, while hopfully capturing the charm of this debut.

Title: Savages

Director:Oliver Stone
Released: 2012
Starring: Aarron Taylor-Johnson, Taylor Kitsch, Blake Lively, John Travolta, Salma Hayek, Benico Del Toro

Plot:Ben(Taylor-Johnson)and Chon (Kitsch) are best buddies and pot growers. Ben is a UCLA graduate while Chon is a former Navy SEAL, making them an effective combination of brains and braun, while bizarrely sharing a hippie girlfriend, named O (Lively). With their focus being on running their business with none of the usual violence associated with the drugs trade DEA Agent Dennis (Travolta), allows the boys to get away with their set-up on account of nobody getting hurt. However Elena (Hayek) who heads up a Mexican drug cartel decides she wants a piece of the peaceful action. But when the boys refuse the offer, Elena kidnaps O. But the boys won’t take that lying down as they take matters into their own hands.

Review: When it comes to naming legendary directors, Oliver Stone’s name is certain to be amongst them. especially when you look at his directorial body of work which includes such classic movies such as Salvador, Wall Street aswell as his Vietnam trilogy (Platoon, Born on the Forth of July, Heaven and Earth). However this is not to say that he has not made a few less than legendary directing choices such as the overblown historical biopic “Alexander”. Still after his last film the fantastic and long awaited “Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps” it looked like he might be back on track…..then of course I saw this movie.

Originally brought to my attention when compiling my 2012 films to look out for over at "Diamonds In Da Sky", this film seemingly has set out to reinvent the drug dealer movie and our general perception of drug dealers as being slimy and psychotic cokeheads, by instead giving us Ben and Chon, who are anything but your typical dealers, as they run their business largely violence free, outside of the occasional persuasive visit from Chon. However in his attempts to truly shatter the mould and portray these two as just two fun loving guys who happen to sell copious amounts of pot, director Stone manages to make the first to many blunders throughout this film as he paints the peace loving new ager Ben as what Jesus could possibly have been like had he sold pot on the side and even he would have a hard time keeping up with Ben, especially when painted with such holier than thou tones, with pretentious scenes such as him being shown travelling the world helping third world villages on the back of his drug profits. Meanwhile the only time we see him selling pot, it is only to those with terminal illnesses, because of course it’s all about helping people and not about making the pile of cash which bought their luxury condo, things which are pretty much glossed over throughout.

Thrown into the mix we have their stoner girlfriend O, whose over written dialogue, provides the narrative throughout, while occasionally throwing out such pretentious lines like

“Just because I'm telling you this story... doesn't mean I'm alive at the end of it”

Which would have been better, had it not been used awhole lot better back in 99 in "American Beauty", while loosely fleshing out their characters with the occasional burst of information, such as how they met her and how they started their enterprise, yet never properly explaining how their open relationship came to be, besides describing their sex life, which by the end of the film was possibly the only thing we really knew about these characters outside of the minimal amount of characterisation they are given. I mean how did this relationship come to be and why does she hold such power over them both? Questions which are for some reason never answered much like how they can have such a jealously free relationship. This also extends to the villains who are just as equally sketched out, with a handful of interesting facts such as Drug baroness Elena’s turbulent relationship with her daughter, supposedly meaning to cover for how little we really know about these characters outside of their various actions.

Such poor attention to the smaller details, means that while we encounter several great characters, only for them to largely end up coming off shallow and no doubt would have even failed to spark even the base amount of interest, especially with the bad guys which essentially only work because of the fun performances by Hayek and Benico Del Toro who seems to be having the most fun of all the cast as the sleazy cartel underboss Lado, who I couldn’t but feel was fleshed out by improvisation by Del Toro, especially during scenes such as the hit he carries out on another dealer, were as he interrogates him he tosses away anything which could be used against him as a potential weapon.
The other main flaw here is certainly with the bloated two hour run time, which seems to have been a luxury only afforded because of the weight which Stone’s name carries and while it might be an eventful film, it still felt that there was a lot which could have been trimmed out of the film to make for a tighter run time. Equally frustrating is that we get one ending which would have been a bold choice and almost redeeming, only for it to be scrapped and replaced with what could probably be best described as the Scooby Doo ending as I half expected Elena to be shouting “I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you pesky kids!”.

The film however does look really nice, with Stone once again harnessing his visual side to maximum potential and this especially comes into play during the handful of action scenes we get, even though the trailer would have you believe it to be more action packed than the pulp thriller we do get. Still even viewed like this it is hard to even recommend it as mindless trash to waste a few hours with, especially with being so bloated it more often than not left me with too much time to question such minor things, like why everyone is pretty much dressed in every sex scene the film has and what modern films have against gratuitous nudity, especially in such seemingly free thinking times?? Still any film which leaves my mind to wonder as much as that is one to be approached with caution.

Title: Mad Max

Director: George Miller
Released: 1979
Starring: Mel Gibson, Steve Bisley, Joanne Samuel, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Time Burns, Geoff Parry, Roger Ward, Vincent Gill

Plot: Set in the near future were with the Earth’s oil supplied nearly exhausted, society has begun to fall apart. Meanwhile Main Force Patrol (MFP) officer Max (Gibson) soon finds himself the target of a vengeful motorcycle gang lead by the Toecutter (Keays Byrne) after he accidently kills one of their members

Review: One of the key Ozploitation movies of the Australian New Wave era and a film which despite its limited budget would not only spawn two sequels (with the third “Fury Road” as of the time of writing currently in production), it would also go on to set the benchmark for car smash movies. This is only further justified when you look at what is possibly one of the greatest opening sequences ever rivalled perhaps only by “Narc”, as we are mere minutes into the film, before we are straight into the opening car chase, featuring a caravan being decimated, cars flipped and even a rocket car, all shot with a heavy dose of car porn as Director Millar ensures that the whole sequence is shot at break neck speed.

Inspired by a strange yet effective combination of the post apocalyptic cult classic “A Boy And His Dog” (Sadly he choose not to also use a talking dog), the 1973 fuel shortages in Australia, were motorists were frequently resorting to violence to fill their fuel tanks, aswell as what Millar was seeing while working as an Emergency Room doctor and from these sources he crafts a world of violence and chaos, one he would continue to build on with the sequels to create a truly original vision of a post-apocalyptic Australia. However it is not a world without hope which in this film comes from the skeleton crew of MFP officers still trying to maintain law and order, despite the local populace becoming increasingly more wild and violent, while the courts have all but collapsed meaning that they frequently struggle to make their arrests stick, with the crumbling halls of justice sign essentially capturing their current state. Meanwhile Millar truly captures a society on the edge of implosion.

Within this world Miller undoubtedly crafts some truly memorable characters, a trait he also carried over to the sequels, with fleshed out characterisation which extends well beyond the main characters and carried right through to even the most minor characters so that it feels like a living world that the film exists within. As the big evil of the film Keays-Byrne makes for a suitable intimidating villain as the Toecutter, a role he reportedly based on Genghis Khan which is a pretty suitable model considering the nomadic styling his gang and while he might not be anywhere as psychotic as the villains who followed, as he prefers to have his gang carry out his dirty work, while using his towering size to intimidate those he encounters, aswell as to keep his gang in line.

Despite the challenges and horrors Max faces on a daily basis, he refuses to give in as he continues to try and fight the good fight, finding solace from the horrors he sees from his loving wife and child who provide him the rock he needs, something which is only emphesised by him becoming the titular Mad Max after they are viciously killed by bikers in a truly hunting sequence and one which I found affecting me more while rewatching it for this review, possibly because of being a father myself, something I was on the previous times I had watched this film. It is a role embodied by the fresh faced Gibson, with this film launching him into superstar status, despite originally only attending the auditions for the film to support his close friend Steve Bisley who here appears similarly as Max’s best friend Goose. Ironically it would be the battered appearance he turned up to the audition in as a result of the previous nights bar brawl that would land him the part, with one of the casting agents advising him to come back as “We need freaks”. Gibson despite his inexperience perfectly manages to potray the two sides to Max, especially in his transformation from loving family man to ice cold avenger.

The violence here despite the films legacy is largely retrained and more implied with Miller preferring to give the viewer bursts of intense violence, which can be slightly disappointing after such a strong opening that the film on first viewing can feel like one drawn out chase movie, as Max and his family try to escape from Toecutter and his men, who are quick to spurn themselves into a whirlwind of violence and rape (Both male and female with bisexual / homosexual villains one of the more random reoccurring themes of the series). While future instalments would amp up the violence, this film instead is more a study of revenge and what happens when a man reaches his breaking point, with Max’s revenge being especially blunt as he utilises both his trademark black pursuit special but also a sawn off shotgun as his tools of revenge, while memorably forcing one gang member to choose between sawing through a chain or his ankle to avoid being blown up in a scene which would also provide the inspiration for “Saw”. Needless to say this is world were only those willing to fight or give in to more primal instincts survive, aswell as one were the intimidating MFP Captain is called FiFi (Ward)

While it is my least favourite of the trilogy, it is a film which benefits from a repeat viewing or atleast some prior warning over what to expect, especially when comparing to the sequels, which are very much a different beast in comparison, but as an origin story it is still solid on its own merits and a films which certainly has lost nothing in the years since its release.

Title: Only God Forgives
Director: Nicolas Winding Refn
Released: 2012
Starring: Ryan Gosling, Tom Burke, Kristin Scott Thomas, Vithaya Pansringarm

Plot: Julian (Gosling) runs a Thai boxing club as a front for his family’s drug business, alongside his brother Billy (Burke). When his brother is killed by the vengeful father of an underage prostitute he murdered. Now with his mother’s (Scott Thomas) sudden arrival, Julian now finds himself dispatched on a mission of vengeance, one which will soon see him on a collision course with Lieutenant Chang (Pansringarm) the “Angel of Vengeance”.

Review: Director Refn recently told the LA Film festival

“Drive was like getting the best cocaine and doing it all night long. But Only God Forgives is like doing acid. Not the kind where you sit in a chair and see things – the kind of good acid where you become the chair.”

It’s an interesting comparison and one which is probably best used to explain this film, as this eagerly awaited follow up to the critically acclaimed and Oscar overlooked “Drive” is like its predecessor anything but a straightforward film. Still what could you really expect when the film is also dedicated to Chilean director Alejandro Jodorowsky, the surrealist film maker and midnight movie favourite who equally seems to be a key influence at play here, as Refn plays with revenge movie conventions to craft a truly surreal movie and one which is no doubt going to lead to another round of cinema walkouts which I saw with “Drive”, when the average movie goer realises that the film they have come to see is nothing like the film sold in the trailer, much less the ones drawn in by the prospect of once more seeing a rough and ready Ryan Gosling.

Julian much like Driver in “Drive” is a man of few words, detached from society outside of his crew and the voyeuristic sessions he spends with prostitute Mai (Yayaying Rhatha Phongam), though their relationship never progresses beyond this, despite Refn frequently hinting at deeper feelings between these two characters, such an invitation to an ultimately ill-fated diner with his mother or from the way she watches him during his confrontation with Chang. These are ultimately passing moments which never progress any further as Refn refuses once again to give into convention. Julian’s general nature though can be credited largely to his mother, who sweeps into his life like a whirlwind of spite and foul language, demanding revenge for her lost son from Julian while frequently humiliating him at any given opportunity, especially when drawing comparisons between him and his brother with her praise for Billy frequently verging on incestuous as she even at one point even comments on the size of Billy’s cock. It is a volatile performance which Scott Thomas gives here aswell one which keeps frequently has been compared to that of Ben Kingsley in "Sexy Beast", though I would personally say it would be a more noteworthy comparison if I could remember anything else she had been in.

The real draw here though is Pansringarm who like Christoph Waltz in “Inglorious Basterds” pretty much steals the film away, with his zen like performance of Chang who frequently dishes out his own brand of sword welding vigilante justice, which seems him skipping over the paper work and court system and instead hacking off limbs as he more than lives up to his title as the angel of vengeance, ruling he city unopposed and only putting his unrelenting mission of justice on hold to engage in Karaoke sessions, usually watched with transfixed gazes from his officers.

Reuniting his “Drive” production team, Refn moves the action from grime of LA to the Neon lit sleaze of Bangkok to create a film which while comparable to his previous film is at the same time a very different beast altogether and one which seems to be splitting critics in a way I’ve not since the Richard Kelly’s much discussed “Southland Tales”. Meanwhile its untraditional plotting means it is also a film requiring patience and an open mind, especially when it frequently seems like a disconnected series of vigilantes, even more so when they often seem so detached and self enclosed from each other. The end result is unquestionably dizzying and at time surreal, while one which left me wondering how the hell I was going to review this movie.

The other main issue here is that Refn has chosen to tell his story with a collection of such un-redeeming individuals, that it can be at times be hard to stomach the story we are being sold, especially when it essentially a tale of bad people doing very bad things to each other and more often than not anyone who happens to stumble into their world, while collateral damage frequently seems to be at a premium. For the more established fans of Refn’s work this will no doubt bring back memories of his earlier films such as his “Pusher” trilogy which equally featured its own share of morally questionable characters and like this film chooses not to paint everything in clear cut black and white but rather varying shades of grey.

Like “Drive” violence is never far from these character, however unlike “Drive” which restrained its violent impulses until its final reels, here the violence is spread out while slowly escalating as the film progresses to the showdown between Julian and Chang. This however is not Hollywood violence as Refn instead aims for realistic violence, as Julian is left bloody and bruised after his confrontation with Chang, so much so that it the once good looks of Gosling are reduced to a bloody and bruised mess. Elsewhere a spectacularly failed hit on Chang, only further racks up the collateral damage total, as bullets shred bodies shot in slow motion, as Chang sits with his men completely unfazed by the carnage erupting around him.

This really won’t be a movie which appeals to everyone, but then Refn has continually been a director operating on the fringes of popularity. Still despite the subject matter being often hard to stomach, here he continues to show himself still an exciting film maker aswell as one clearly still playing by his own rules. Even now looking back at this film several days later it is a film I still find myself still trying to work out, while if like “Southland Tales” it will stand up to repeated viewings is something yet to be seen.

Title: Bernie

Director: Richard Linklater
Released: 2011
Starring: Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Mathew McConaughey

Plot: Shot in a documentary style, the film tells Bernie’s story in particular the friendship he struck up with the wealthy and recently widowed Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine) who was widely dispised by the other townsfolk, due to her frequently cold and unpleasant nature, with the film especially focusing on the events leading up to Bernie shooting her several times from behind. A crime only made all the more bizarre by the fact that he was so popular with the local townsfolk that despite him openly confessing to her murder, they still rallied to his defence.

Review: For anyone not already convinced that Jack Black is a master of disguise, especially with most associating him with his now trademark classic rock infused whirlwind style of acting, often forgetting that he was also the pilot in “Waterworld”, the lead bad guy in “The Neverending Story 3” or the annoying white Rasta in “I Still Know What You Did Last Summer”, before finally making getting his breakout role in “High Fidelity” which essentially typecast him for every film which followed. Still occasionally he has shown us that he is still more than a one trick pony with films like “King Kong” and “Nacho Libre”, both showcasing different sides to him and one we refreshingly get to see again here, as he adopts a camp southern twang to play small town mortician Bernie Tiede.

A strange tale to say the least but one only made the stranger by the fact that it is a story based on true events, with director Richard Linklater using the 1998 Texas Monthly magazine article “Midnight in the Garden of East Texas” by Skip Hollandsworth who also helped to write the screenplay with Linklater, a director who has always had an affection for oddball characters. An obsession first started with his indie debut “Slacker” and one which has continued throughout his career, with Bernie being truly his kind of character.

Opening with Bernie addressing a class of student morticians through the tricks of his trade, from super gluing eyes shut, to the use of the correct amount of blush, all while highlighting each of these actions with a dash of dark humour as he throws out such great pearls of wisdom like

“We must always be on guard for the mischievous lip drift. Even the slightest hint of teeth can be disastrous. You cannot have grief tragically becoming a comedy.”

It is a scene which perfectly introduces his character and whose instant likability makes it easy to see why he was so popular amongst the townsfolk and this is even before the film moves into the largely talk head filled meat of the film, which highlights many of his good deeds within the community, aswell as the skill he handles his trade with, making the recently deceased sound better in life than they were in death including the town drunk who comes off sounding like a socialite thanks to Bernie. It is this likability which is key to the film working or failing seeing how the film essentially rests on you wanting a self-confessed murderer getting away with it. Thankfully it is something which is effortlessly portrayed by Black, who judging by the credits footage of Black in conversation with the real life Bernie Tiede the similarities between the two are the remarkable, though sadly the footage is shown without sound meaning that we never get to discover who much of a sound-alike he is aswell.

While this is essentially Black’s movie, he still receives strong support from MacLaine who is truly odious with her continuous taunting and gradually increasing mental torture she inflicts on Bernie with her nagging, possessiveness and generally acid tonged putdowns, making it none too hard to root for her demise. Equally on form is Mathew McConaughey as the D.A. Danny Buck Davidson, who’s Rottweiler like obsession with the case, is only made all the more memorable by his performance that manages to skilfully juggle moments of drama and comedy together, especially as he is frequently confounded by the views of the townsfolk who are frequently quick to leap to the defence of Bernie, even though he is openly confessed to murder and making no attempt to rally the townsfolk to his cause.

Linklater making the decision to shoot the film in a documentary style is certainly an interesting, yet certainly effective one, with the talking heads element this provides frequently giving the film many of its more memorable moments as the townsfolks give their thoughts on Bernie and the case, with the southern drawl certainly adding a quaint edge to it, while the fact that many of the townsfolk are playing themselves only continues to add to the already surreal nature of the case. Frustratingly though Linklater never really makes any attempts to understand why they are so devoted to defending him? Is it because of Bernie's charitable nature or is it more down to how he started handing out mrs Nugent's money as risk free loans to them all. Infact the only real counterargument we get to Bernie's list of good deeds is via McConaughey's Danny Buck seeming voice of reason, even though it is one we particularly don't want to listen to even though we know he is ultimately right. Equally frustrating is the lack of real insight into why Bernie is like he is, especially seeing how his acts despite seemingly being money motivated still continue today while he is incarcerated.

For one reason of another this film has only just now made it over to the UK, despite being released stateside last year, though it remains to be seen exactly what sort of wide release the film will get, with my current thoughts being that it will likely be turning up direct to DVD, but it’s still one of the most fascinating performances from Black that I have seen in a while and one which captures this truly unique story.

Title: Super

Director: James Gunn
Released: 2010
Starring: Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page, Liv Tyler, Kevin Bacon, Nathan Fillion, Michael Rooker

Plot: Frank (Wilson) is a downtrodden short-order cook, whose wife Sarah (Tyler) has just left him for drug dealer Jacques (Bacon). Sinking into a deep depression he suffers a vision were he is touched by the hand of god, while being advised by the Holy Avenger (Fillion) a Christian public-access TV show superhero to become his own superhero. Now transformed into Crimson Bolt he sets out to clean up the city of crime.

Review: I think the announcement that Director James Gunn had been chosen as the director of “Guardians of the Galaxy” as part of Marvel Studios Phase two, I can safely say I was almost as surprised as when Peter Jackson was announced as the director of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The main reason for this surprise was that both came from a horror background, with Jackson especially notorious for the bad taste splatter of his early films, before moving onto more mainstream but none the less dark fare like the fantastic “Heavenly Creatures”. Gunn’s career path while perhaps not so dark as Jackson’s is still one containing its own amount of splatter, having started off working for Troma and making his directorial debut with the gooey “Sliver” for which this film would be its follow up, while the rest of his career to date has been very much horror influenced. So with this in mind I was curious to see how this would shape his vision of a superhero movie, especially after previously playing with the superhero genre with “The Specials”. Watching this film though only really begs the question again as to what the Marvel exec’s were thinking when they gave Gunn the “Guardians of the Galaxy” gig, especially considering the pitch black vein of humour which runs throughout this film, as Gunn gives us his truly unique take on costume vigilantes.

Bizarrely released at the same time of the more recognised and lighter “Kick-Ass” aswell as the little seen “Defendor” in what seemed to be a mini craze for the subject of costume vigilanties. Gunn here has chosen to take a much more risqué route, seeing how Frank is far from the most instantly likable character, having been so downtrodden for so long we first meet him at essentially his lowest point, especially when he can only think of two happy moments in his life. The first being the day he married Sarah and the other being when he directed a police officer to catch a purse snatcher, both of which he immortalises in childlike drawing and stuck on the otherwise bare walls of his apartment. Needless to say this sort of character is the perfect fit for Wilson who has spent the best part of his career playing such social outcasts, with Wilson’s performance as Frank seemingly building on his role as Arthur on “Six Feet Under”.

Much like his costume vigilante contempories, Frank has no super powers to speak off and after a failed attempt at busting a drug dealer, soon controversially arms himself with a pipe wrench, which soon has him marked on the police radar for all the wrong reasons, especially when his superhero antics usually end up putting the criminals in the intensive care unit. Still this doesn’t deter him, especially as he is so convinced of his mission, seeming sent from god himself in a scene were he is not so much touched by god but rather scalped and poked in the brain by god in a scene I can’t help but feel was inspired by the Channard Cenobite from “Hellraiser 2”, in a scene which only further marks out Gunn’s love of the horror genre.

While previous entries in the costume vigilant genre (if that’s what this can be classed as?) have focused on the wannabe superhero and their journey to being a true hero, “Super” instead seems to be about one man setting out on the path of trying to make a difference, while slowly becoming more unhinged as his journey progresses, here seen from the comical first attempts at busting crime by lurking around empty alleyways through to him finally stocking up on firepower and explosives for his suicidal final assault on Jacques stronghold. Also unlike the other films Frank gets (if unwillingly) a sidekick in the form of the hyperactive and foul mouthed comic book store clerk Libby, who starts off first as his comic book guru, helping Frank find the identity of the Crimson Bolt by studying comic book hero and soon joins Frank on patrol as his sidekick Boltie. It’s an unusual approach and one which really sinks or swims depending on if you get Gunn’s warped sense of humour. Still it is really a tribute to the cast (all who worked to scale) who commit to their roles so fully that the film works so well with Page especially unhinged and a far cry from her usual roles, while Bacon once again shows his usual fearlessness as he harnesses his inner sleazebag, to make Jacques a truly disgusting individual even to the point where he disgusts even his own henchmen with his actions.

What was most surprising here though was the gore quota, which is in many ways is unsurprising when you consider the amount of Pipe wrench clubbing being dished out to drug dealers right through to people cutting in line. So while cracked skulls are mainly the order of the day, while Gunn also finds a number of opportunities to surprise the audience with these sporadic moments of gore, which frequently come without warning and often creating a double punch thanks to the already frequently out there nature of the material. Needless to say like with the rest of the film Gunn is none the less creative with his splatter with Frank’s visions / Brain poke certainly proving memorable, much like the finale were deaths are shown in slow motion complete with crudely drawn Batman esq pow bubbles.

Managing shock at the same time it amuses, Gunn walks a tricky tightrope and one which won’t work for everyone. Still there is enough originality here to make for an interesting trip at the least, especially as it will no doubt leave you wondering what the hell you’ve just watched.

Title: End of Watch
Director: David Ayer
Released: 2012
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Peña, Natalie Martinez, Anna Kendrick, Frank Grillo, America Ferrera

Plot: Two police officers Brian Taylor (Gyllenhaal) and Mike Zavala (Michael Peña)find themselves marked for death by the members of a local cartel after they confiscate a cache of money and firearms during a routine traffic stop.

Review: Honestly when I was going into this film I can’t say that I was exactly looking forward to it, especially when it didn’t seem to be exactly bringing anything new to the table with its police procedural setting, much less the fact that it is yet another found footage movie, a genre notoriously difficult to pull off let alone do well. Needless to say that within the opening five minutes I was left astounded by this film.

Written and directed by David Ayer who has had something of a mixed bag of a career as both a writer and director, having previous written the Oscar winning “Training Day”, “Dark Blue” and the star making Vin Diesel vehicle “The Fast and the Furious”, while as a director his most noteworthy film to date was the sadly overlooked “Harsh Times”, something he seems to be trying to correct with this latest offering which grabs hold of it’s audience and refuses to let them go as it takes them through a rollercoaster 109 minutes.

Shot completely on a mixture of handheld and chest mounted cameras aswell as additional shots from the police cruiser video and ariel shots from choppers, Ayer has here managed to build a fully immersive world in which to set his story and somehow has managed to achieve the impossible by actually making the format work to heighten the experience, rather than proving a continual distraction to the viewer as they have to contend with shaky camera and out of focus action shots, all pitfalls which Ayer manages to avoid with his choice of shooting method even going as far as to actually give us a valid reason as to why they are still filming, which in the case of the two officers at the centre of this story is as simple as Brian using the footage for his film making project something while the use of chest camera provides a much more steadier image than has been previous seen in found footage movies to date, while also giving us the thrill of getting first person shooter style shots during shoot outs as firearms are discharged, while the opening chase sequence shot entirely on the cruiser camera, makes for an equally thrilling ride.

Set in South Central LA, it is hard not to draw comparisons between this film and the TV series “Southland” with who it shares the same stomping ground with and certainly a similar style, as the two young officers find themselves continually having to deal with the worst scum he city has to offer, while at the same time walking their own line when it comes to dealing with upholding their law in their district, something especially highlighted by Zavala getting involved in a brawl with one suspect while being cheered on by an enthusiastic Taylor, actions which are surprisingly never called into question especially with Zavala and Taylor filming all of their actions, but then why at the same time are cartel members videotaping their own illegal activities? Ultimately it would seem that these moment are more for the benefit of the audience on terms of building setting rather than setting up key plot points.

Zavala and Taylor are much more than just partners as their partnership sees them more as brothers, than just close friends, for as much as they pick on each others flaws, they genuinely seem to care about each other, even to the point were they have death pacts so that they will look after each other’s wives should they die in the line of duty and it’s a bond which seems to help them survive so many of the horrors they see over course of each patrol they complete, with each shift only seemingly to bring with a whole new set of shocks for them to deal with, especially when even a routine welfare check on an elderly woman uncovers a mass grave of dismembered corpses, especially as he stranglehold of the cartel over he local community only seems to grow ever more stronger, despite the efforts of the police to stem its tide. Still there is no main plot line to the film or main bad guy to foil as Ayer instead sets the flm’s rythem to the day to day routine of police work, as Zavala and Taylor frequently find themselves walking a tightrope between bordom and bursts of adrenaline fuelled action, never quite sure what the streets will hold for them, as they try to make it to the tituar end of watch.

In terms of casting it is flawless with Gyllenhaal in particular reminding us that he is still capable of the same exciting performances he gave back when made “Donnie Darko” something that I have been waiting along time to see again, especially with his work in the mainstream lacking any of his earlier energy. Peña meanwhile proves to be equally watchable as he finally gets a more meatier role than he has previously been offered to date, while the real life research the two actors undertook in preparing for their roles which saw them completing twelve hour ride alongs three times a week with members of the Greater Los Angeles area law enforcement agencies, the first of which unexpectingly leading to Gyllenhaal witnessing a murder during the first of these ride alongs and something which seems to have benefit to both of the actors, as they convincingly portray their roles as officers on the beat, while the random conversations such as Zavala reeling off his shopping list of energy drinks he is carrying or questionable relationship advice only adding to the realism.

Once more Ayer has crafted more than your typical cop movie, while finally writing at the same level again that he was when he gave us "Training Day", as here he continues his ongoing obsession with law enforcement and those they oppose, while demonstrating once more that while the officers might belong to the brotherhood of blue, its one made up of many different shades. Easily one of the best films of the year while once more marking Ayer as name to watch.

Title: A Bay of Blood aka. Twitch of the Death Nerve

Director: Mario Bava
Released: 1971

Starring: Claudine Auger, Luigi Pistilli, Claudio Camaso, Anna Maria Rosati, Chris Avram, Leopoldo Trieste, Laura Betti, Brigitte Skay, Isa Miranda, Paola Montenero, Guido Boccaccini, Roberto Bonanni, Giovanni Nuvoletti

Plot: When the elderly Countess Federica (Miranda) is murdered by her husband (Nuvoletti), things take an unusual turn when he too is murdered by an unseen assailant before being dumped into the bay by the estate. What follows is an all out murder spree as both relatives and friends conspire to claim the bay for themselves.

Review: Despite being a key figure in both the giallo film genre aswell as in the creation of modern slasher movies, director Bava is still a director largely unknown to most casual horror fans, despite his influence being frequently seen in the likes of “Alien”, “Prometheus” aswell as “Pitch Black” from which comparisons to Bava’s “Planet of the Vampires” can be drawn, while the influence of this film can clearly be seen as a big influence for “Friday the 13^th Part 2” which even cheekily lifted two of the films murder scenes. Needless to say this film was my first taste of Bava’s work, largely thanks to the “Final Girl Film Club” run by the multi-talented Stacie Ponder over at“Final Girl” who choose this as her August film club pick. As such it was really the push I needed, especially as I have never been the biggest fan of the giallo genre, yet at the same time I was keen to actually see some of Bava’s work to possibly understand why a man whose films have frequently been so influential is still so under the radar.

Over the years since its release the film has appeared under a variety of titles including bizarrely “Last House On The Left - Part 2” despite being released a year before Wes Craven’s original film. The constant name changes mainly being due to the film under performing at the cinema under one title, only to be re-released under another even though nothing about the film had actually changed. These name changes also saw the film being banned twice in the UK, the first under its more popular title “A Bay of Blood” before later being banned for video under the title “Blood Bath”. As a result of all these names changes the film now hold a record for more alternative titles than any other film released, with the majority of the titles going for cheap shock fitting of the exploitation nature of the film, which frequently feels like a string of gruesome murder scenes strung together by only the loosest of plots.

The favourite of Bava’s movies, its influence on the slasher genre is clear with its dense woodland setting and its largely stalk and slash approach to the killing of its young cast, is only something that would replicated time and time again over the years which followed its release. Meanwhile Bava also picking up cinematography duties here really makes the most of his minimal budget, reportly using a child’s wagon for the tracking shot and even making his shooting location of producer Giuseppe Zaccariello beach house seem like a dense forest through camera tricks when there was reportedly only a few scattered trees on the location. Bava meanwhile shooting the film as quickly as possible before the limited production money ran out, which may also explain why the film feels like confused mess in places, none so much when we randomly have a bunch of partying teens stumble into the film, whose only purpose seems to be for them to be killed off, especially with no real further mention of them in the rest of the film, outside of a brief discovery scene of their assorted bodies.

The plot is at times a baffling mess, as the various members slowly reveal their own plots for claiming the bay. However due to the sheer number of plots flying around it can be confusing to keep up with who is who, let alone who they are plotting with. Meanwhile the none standard scenes of the partying teens seem to be part of a different movie altogether, especially when they have no real effect on the main plot, outside of adding to the body count and adding a little titillation to the proceedings.

Needless to say the real focus here seems to be on the murders themselves, with the film not only racking up a decent body count, with each new twist or betrayal amongst the family, all of which are voyeuristically realised by acclaimed special effects legend Carlo Rambaldi, who here really goes to town to produce some effective kills, as throats are bloodily slit, heads decapitated and even a spear is run through a two teens while having sex in a scene which as I mentioned earlier would be lifted for “Friday the 13^thPart 2, alongside the machete to the face. Bava shooting these scenes with an unflinching eye, often lingering the camera on the aftermath for a few seconds afterward, to fully appreciate his killers handiwork, while these death scenes are frequently accompanied by frenzied tribal drumming as the soundtrack works itself into a frenzy of excitement, as it attempts to replicate the psyche of the killer, while interesting forgoing the more traditional crescendro we are used to seeing accompanied these scenes, instead cutting of the music dead when the death blow is struck, leaving the audience to view the aftermath in errie silence a style similar to the climatic chase motorbike chase in “Electra Glide In Blue”, which saw its slow motion crashes shot in the same way. While the gore today might have lost some its effectiveness thanks to the occasionally dated looking effects, with its decapitation being bettered by “Friday the 13^th” making it hard to imagine that this is the same film which horror legend Christopher Lee walked out of during its premier, having been curious to see Bavas’ latest film having worked previous with him on “The Whip and the Body”. This however is not to say that it doesn’t still have its effective moments such as a brutal harpoon impalement and a chilling strangulation were each grunt and gasp seems to be amplified.

Ultimately I can’t say that this was an overly memorable viewing experience, though at the same time it is hard to deny its influence on the slasher genre especially when its gore frequently gets so creative, while its’ surprising and certainly original ending makes it almost worth the preceding 80+ mins and making it more of a curiosity of horror historians and genre fans than a must see.

Title: The Flowers of War

Director: Yimou Zhang
Released: 2012
Starring: Christian Bale, Huang Tianyuan, Ni Ni, Tong Dawei, Atsuro Watabe

Plot: Based on the book “13 Flowers of Nanjing” by Geling Yan and set during the 1937 invasion of Nanking, China by the Japanese army were mortician John (Bale) arrives at a Catholic church to prepare the church's priest for burial. However upon arriving at the church he finds himself the sole adult amongst the young Covent girls who are soon joined by the prostitutes from the nearby brothel claiming sanctuary. Now he finds himself in the unwanted position of protecting the girls by pretending to be resident priest.

Review: I’m sure I’m probably alone when I say that for myself Christian Bale’s most interesting films have always been his less mainstream ones, with films such as “The Machinist” and “Harsh Times” only being further evidence of this and while everyone is still pretty much cooing over his performance as the dark knight, it has meant that this film, another of less mainstream projects has once again slipped under the radar.

Directed by Yimou Zhang who is probably best known for his Hero trilogy (Hero, House of Flying Daggers, Curse of the Golden Flower) whose popularity only makes it all the more surprising that this film did not get better distribution, especially with Bale in the lead, which also makes it only the second fully Chinese-funded film to have a Hollywood star in the lead (the first being the Kevin Spacey headed “Inseperable”) aswell as also having the honour of being the most expensive. Still considering the subject matter it hardly makes for the most fun viewing, while reminding us of a frequently less remembered time in history, were the atrocities being committed by the invading Japanese were easily comparable to those of their Nazi counterparts.

Needless to say Director Zhang does not ease his audience into the situation currently happening, as he shows John stumbling through the corpse strewn streets, dodging stray gunfire from the invading Japanese soldiers hunting down the last of the Chinese soldiers still trying vainly to defend the city. Picking up two of the terrified convent girls he his lead back to the church, which has been left in the wake of the priests death to be defended by the teenage George (Tianyuan), whose attempts to stop the local prostitutes also moving into the church basement are made in vain, especially when they are lead by the fiesty Yu Mo (Ni Ni). It is within this opening half hour which Zhang paints a city now largely abandoned apart from the invading Japanese army and this mixed group seeking refuge within the walls of the church and he makes no qualms about showing the real horror of war, via some truly kinetic battle scenes and especially from the perspective of a Major Li (Dawei) who is soon left the long solider and unofficial protector of the girls before his sudden and surprising removal from the film, but only furthering the harsh realistic view point Zhang has chosen for this film in what is a noticeable departure from his artistic styling’s and use of key colours which made his previous films so memorable, though despite this he still manages to find time for the occasional flourish such as the shots of shattering stained glass, which often sit awkwardly amongst the scenes of vile human atrocity being committed alongside.

Despite being ultimately the saviour for the two very different groups of girls, Bale’s character is far from a shining example of sainthood, for when he is first introduced he is shown as a drunk, more concerned with drinking communion wine and plundering any funds contained within the church, than showing any concern for anyone else. However it is only after the attempted gang rape of the Covent girls by an out of control platoon of Japanese soldiers that he soon finds his moral backbone, while continuing to portray the church priest, in order to invoke an uneasy arrangement with Japanese Colonel Hasegawa (Watabe) to keep the church free from invasion by his troops by posting an armed guard outside the church.

Switching the focus throughout Zhang paints as full a (if admittedly one sided) picture as possible of this group and their view points on the situation, especially as it brings them together to form a mismatched family, especially as some are forced to make hard choices come the end of the film, which will certainly tug on the emotions of even the most stone hearted amongst you. However despite having more than its share of emotional moments and a unquestionable atmosphere of sheer terror throughout, it is hard to ignore the length run time, which does at times feel as if it could have been trimmed down in places, without sacrificing the heart of the story. Equally frustrating is the fact that it often feels like many of the cast are speaking in forced whispers with Bales especially being a prime offender of this, despite giving another truly believable antihero performance.

Ultimately this film is a mixed experience for while it contains many moments of real emotion and unflinchingly shows the invasion of Nanking for what it was, while equally let down in this respect for not showing the Japanese from any view point other than from the Chinese standpoint, leaving us with no explanation or understanding of their behavior. However despite this it still remains one the better dramas about this particularly troubling chapter of history and for that fact alone it is worth watching, if only to remind us of the evil war brings out in those caught in the conflict, while ensuring that it’s never forgotten.

It’s safe to say that there are few directors who embrace the sleazy side of cinema as much as Frank Henenlotter, who while not the main prolific of directors, with only six films to his credit, since unleashing this debut film in 1982 he has retained his exploitation cinema inspired style throughout, while other directors such as those who came through the Roger Corman film school such Joe Dante, John Landis and James Cameron moved onto making more mainstream movies and moving away from their exploitation cinema beginnings, Henenlotter has remained true to his grimey 42^nd street inspired roots, even continuing his passion for exploitation cinema through “Something Weird Video” where he has been instrumental in rescuing numerous titles from being destroyed including “Bloodthirsty Butchers” and the truly random “The Curious Dr. Humpp” aswell as this debut film from Henenlotter himself.

Opening with what could almost be described as a video postcard of New York’s 42^nd street (true not one that anyone would want to receive) as cinema marquee’s advertise kung fu movies and sleaze as the softly spoken and awkward Duane (Kevin Van Hentenryck) wanders down the neon lit sidewalk carrying a larger wicker basket. Unsurprisingly everyone wants to know what’s in the basket, from the cackling street walkers to the residents of the seedy hotel were Duane decides to stay. Unknown to them all though is that this wicker basket is home to Duane’s monstrous twin brother Belial, who is deeply resentful at being surgically separated from his brother, so much so that the two brothers are now on a mission of revenge to kill the doctors who separated them.

Henenlotter’s vision of New York has always been one caked in grime and sleaze which he established with this debut, were the residents are either sleazy or just plain oddballs. Even Duane’s love intrest Sharon (Terri Susan Smith) seems to not be quite all there, especially when she frequently talks so breathlessly and wide eyed. Still this film establishes a lot of Henenlotter’s favourite themes including bodily mutation, over the top violence aswell as his now trademark scuzzy sense of humour to craft a unique film to say the least but one which wears its exploitation colours proudly, with Henenlotter himself classifying his films as exploitation films rather than Horror films. Here he crafts a tale full of sleaze, gore and sheer randomness yet one which also surprisingly has quite a few touching moments aswell such as the boys’s aunt reading them “The Tempest”, while despite Belial only being able to communicate telepathically with his brother the two share a clear bond for each other, even if it might seem that Duane is being led by his monstrous brothers lust for revenge, the rage at being detached from each other being clear for them both. Still despite these tender moments the tone throughout is decidedly schizophrenic, especially when Belial starts to demonstrate a serious jealously streak, which soon sees him soon setting off to pursue his own perverse pleasures including one scene which managed to offend even the crew to the point where they walked off the production, something that would also happen again on Henenlotter’s next film “Brain Damage”.

Warped tastes aside this film remains a master class in low budget film making with a measly budget of $35,000 a fact only further highlighted by the roll of cash Duane carries with him actually being the films budget, while Henenlotter’s crew was so small he actually make up most of the names listed on the credits, to make it seem like a bigger crew than he actually had. Still despite the lack of budget the film has still dated well, with the stop motion effects used to animate Belial having a real charm to them which CGI just doesn’t have. Equally not hampered is the healthy gore quota on hand here, as we get a head pushed into a drawer of surgical equipment and bloody maulings amongst the bloody delights aswell as some gooey looking surgical scenes as we see in one flashback the two brothers being separated. Still despite Belial’s murderous tendancies, he is still a restrained killer and only kills for revenge and the only time he breaks from this is in a fit of jealousy towards the end of the film, almost as if Henenlotter was keen to show that while he might look like a monster he processes none of the usual monster psychology, though at the same time he is unquestionably a pervert as seen in several of the more questionable scenes, were Belial decides to explore the world outside of his basket.

More focused than some of his later films, the film has a quick pace and outside of some truly questionable acting there is a lot to enjoy here, especially at this point Henenlotter is still not as caught up in his themes as he becomes in his later films which frequently seem to be more about shocking the audience than crafting an intelligible story as his last film “Bad Biology” only serves to highlight. Still for anyone looking for a starting point for Henenlotter’s film this is certainly a gentle entry point and for many this remains the favourite of his six films, so much so that it would spawn two sequels despite the ending of this film being pretty final, but then like any good exploitation movie, if there is a chance to make money there is always a way.

Thanks to Chris at Terry Malloy's Pigeon Coop and Mark at Three Rows Back for letting me a part of their blogathon, so why not check them out and see the rest of the blogathon posts.

So many times I have been left astounded by some of the choices made by directors on just what they expect and audience to buy into, even more so when these moments leave you no choice but to question what the f**k? you have just seen? So to celebrate these shall we say questionable directing choices here are my personal top 6.

Godzilla flies (Godzilla Vs. Hedorah)

Over the years since the Godzilla first took a stroll through Tokyo, there have been a number of questionable moments which have appeared throughout the series, from attempts to give Godzilla a voice (Godzilla Vs. Gigan), lumbering him with a son who strangely resembles grey lumpy mash, let alone the meddling and inserting of random plot devices (let alone reusing Raymound Blurr) which several films saw on the US release. Still what makes this one stand out is the sheer randomness of watching Godzilla use his radioactive fire breath to enable him to fly, a moment so surreal that even the DVD chapter title has it marked as “Something You Don’t See Everyday” though it would be also be something that we never saw again…unlike Minila who continues to frequently blight the series and delight my wife.

Van Damme Vs. Ice Hockey Mascot (Sudden Death)

While Van Damme might not be renown for being the sanest of action heroes and prone the occasional random ramble as a quick glance at his interviews in the past only seem to provide further evidence to, while the films he choose to make towards the latter end of his career are frequently full of WTF?!? moments, though none are perhaps as special as this one. True this isn’t just some random mascot abuse but rather one of the terrorists disguised as the loveable mascot, but this doesn’t make it all the less comical let alone making you wonder how they ever thought that this fight scene would actually work. To his credit Van Damme does is best to try and work with such a clumsy opponent, showcasing a few favourites, but I would be hard pushed to say that you ever feel that he is ever threatened at any point and kind of highlighted the state of his career at this point.

Gamera gymnastics (Gamera vs. Guiron)

While Gamera might not be as instantly recognisable as fellow Kajiu legend Godzilla to most folks, there is no denying that the fire breathing space turtle still has his fans, so much so that many Kajiu fans are still holding out for a showdown between the two titans of the genre. Like Godzilla though Gamera has had his own share of random moments like Barugon’s rainbow attack (Gamera vs. Barugon) or the redneck voice over option which is bizarrely included as a bonus feature on the dvd for “Gamera 2: Attack of Legion”. Still the best of these has to be this classic and truly bonkers moment, which is only added to by the random dance Gamera seems to be doing when he gets hit in his paws by Guirons’ ninja star attack, but then it’s moments like this which remind me why I love this genre so much.

The Dead or Alive Opening (Dead or Alive)

It is said that a film needs to capture the attention of its audience and establish its tone with its first fifteen minutes, which its safe to say that director Miike Takashi has no problems doing with the first of his “Dead or Alive” trilogy, which throws more violence and shocking imagery into its opening that most films manage in their run time, as he truly sets the scene for his Triad drama and what is to come, which he does in a stunning montage of sex, violence, drugs, guns and noodles, all while showcasing his highly unique style which made him such a standout name during the revival of interest in Asian cinema. Even more so when western audiences were hit with the double punch of this film and “Audition” and certainly helped pave the way for the likes of Park Chan-Wook’s “Vengeance Trilogy” and the truly random films of Shinya Tsukamoto. True there are a number of more shocking scenes in the film itself which I won't spoil for anyone yet to watch it with the ending also being a contender for this list, but it’s the balls to hit his audience with this memorable and frequently shocking opening sequence, which is so self-contained that you can’t help but wonder what the hell it is that you have just witnessed.

Matrix Cockfight (The City of Lost Souls)

While it might not be one of his better films, this lesser seen film from Takashi Miike might be largely hit and miss, but one thing it does get right is this scene which seems to have been included almost as a random whim by Miike, especially when it seems to only be included for local colour and perhaps feeling that a real cockfight might be alittle extreme even for him, instead puts a fun spin on things in one of the better moments of the film.

Bulletproof huh? How about Rocketproof! (Death Wish 3)

After the original “Death Wish” it’s safe to say the series soon began to let the realism slip, while with part 3 it was just sheer thrown out of the window, as Charles Bronson returned for another round of vigilante justice despite now perhaps being older than he should be for such antics yet apparently not too old to follow it up with another two films. Still watched with a sense of humour there is a lot of fun to be had with film, especially as it escalates to its totally over the top shootout finale, were seemingly every one has a gun as the harassed (and mainly OAP) residents of the apartment block take up arms against the gang members. Director Michael Winner though still manages to top this madness with this jaw dropping WTF? moment which I love to show friends, especially the uninitiated just to see their reaction to this scene, somthing often followed by a need to rewind and watch it again, which I can’t really blame them for as it is such a great ending and the perfect footnote for Winner’s involvement in the series as he handed over the directorial reigns to J. Lee Thompson for part 4.

So there you have my choices, but what would make your own list?

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