From The Depths Of DVD Hell

Title: The Sexy Killer / The Drug Connection

Director: Chung Sun
Released: 1976
Starring: Chen Ping, Yueh Hua, Szu Wei, Tien Ching, Chaing Yang, Chan Shen, Lin Feng, Li Peng-fei

Plot: When nurse Wan Fei’s (Ping) sister is hooked on heroin and abused by local drug dealers, she takes justice into her own hands as she sets out to take on the Hong Kong crime syndicates responsible.

Review: With such a provocative title it’s more than obvious what caught my attention about this little seen exploitation movie from the legendry Shaw Brothers Studios who unknown to most people including myself until lately, didn’t just make the Kung Fu movies they are probebly best known for, but also dabbled in a number of other genres such as this exploitation cheapie.

Essentially a Hong Kong remake of Pam Grier classic “Coffy”, while the plotting here is paper thin and more of an excuse to show what frequently felt like a stream of nudity, soft-core sex and of course being the Shaw Brothers a healthy dose of Kung Fu action. This of course is the standard fodder for Ping who like Grier specialised in playing tough feisty ladies, while at the same time not adverse to the occasional shedding her clothes, as we not only see here, but in the handful of sexploitation movies she did over the course of her career. True she might not be as strong an actress as Grier which it is hard to not draw comparisons to especially with the plotlines being so similar, let alone both ladies affection for a shotgun.

Opening with a particularly sleazy scene of Wan Fei’s sister being drugged and subsequently used by a couple of sleazy gangsters, the film essentially establishes the tone within the opening minutes, while Wan Fei sets out on her quest for revenge with a strangely confident stance which sees her not only being able to weld a mean shotgun but also infiltrate gangs disguised as a prostitute with little trouble despite from all apperences having any kind of training of any kind to assist her other than pure guts and grit it would seem. Okay perhaps the plot in this respect should be taken with a pinch of salt, especially when the plotting is as paper thin as it is, while Ping has enough presence on the screen to pull of the role even if Grier does it better.

Director Chung seems to relish the sleazy atmosphere he creates here, especially when he frequently seems to be finding new ways to add to the films already high sleaze quota including a drug baron who likes introducing prostitutes to his home torture chamber and while Chung occasionally pushes these more risqué moments, there is ultimately nothing too shocking almost as if he was keen to not lose the film amongst the ranks of the numerous Pink movies being produced during this era. Still with such focus on the exploitation elements.

Despite the care free attitude towards nudity it is pretty surprising how largely restrained the violence is here and never exceeds what we have to come to expect from the Kung Fu output of the Shaw Brothers. Still despite being more restrained with the violence, the action scenes are not hampered as a result with Wan Fei proving herself rather handy with her shotgun, aswell as her dagger bracelet. Needless to say Wan Fei does kick a lot of ass while the ending while perhaps more subtle than you expect from this kind of movie is none the less satisfying which includes an exploding waterbed none the less, as she proves not for the first time that hell truly hath no fury like a scorned Wan Fei.

While its true that other similar films may have done this better such as “Sex and the Fury” or the “Sister Street Fighter” trilogy, but there is fun to be had here none the less, even if it is disposable at best. Ideally watch this as a warm up in a double bill as on its own will no doubt leave you wanting something alittle more satisfying.

Title: Drive Angry

Director: Patrick Lussier
Released: 2011
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner, Bill Burke, David Morse, Todd Farmer

Plot: Undead criminal John Milton (Cage) breaks out hell when he finds out that his daughter and her husband have been killed by Satanic cult leader Jonah King (Burke) who has also kidnapped Milton’s granddaughter who he plans to sacrifice as part of a Satanic ritual. Meanwhile an operative of Satan known as The Accountant (Fichtner) has been dispatched to bring Milton back.

Review: If you ever wanted to know how to automatically give me a lesser opinion of your film, release a trailer essentially consisting of grinning loons who got to see your film no doubt for free, while forcing them shout out sound bites of how much they supposedly love your film, while generally making claims that they have seen the “BEST FILM EVER!! No I didn’t just slip on the caps lock, but it’s probably the only way to capture on the page the grating enthusiasm for these comments that they see to bizarrely have for frequently awful films…but then perhaps this is the only film these folks have seen...you know ever! Alas this was the situation I found myself in as I entered into this film (see it wasn’t just random ranting) especially when all I could remember about this film was those awful adverts and the handful of intriguing snippets of action it contained.

Still no doubt the sheer sight of Nicolas Cage’s involvement in this film, will have most folks giving it a skip anyway, especially with Cage working his way out of his tax troubles and other debts by seemingly appearing in every film currently being made. True this has resulted in him taking on some of his more questionable roles, but it is hard to deny that when he does take on a role he digs he really is still an incredible actor, as “Kick-Ass” or “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans” are only further testament to. Sadly though this was not to be one of his better efforts, as he largely sleepwalks his way through this film while never seeming fully committed to the role, yet thanks to a largely no name cast his performance does give the illusion of being better than it is.

The cast director Lussier has assembled here as I mentioned are largely no name, with only half a dozen recognisable faces being drafted for the more dramatically involved parts I.E the ones not requiring you to run around randomly or just being kill count fodder. Sadly for some reason though he also skimped on the casting of the films big evil, as Burke never once feels threatening, despite Lussier frequently showcasing him doing various hideous acts, he still ends up coming off like a henchman than any real kind of threat to Milton. Thankfully the evil quota is partially saved by a scene chewing Fichtner who not only gives a performance with undertones of Christopher Walken but also seems to be having a blast as the relentless henchman of Satan “The Accountant” who is not only invincible but also rocks a sharp suit to boot, while also processing a penchant for coin tosses like Chigurh in “No Country For Old Men” for who both share a relentless devotion to their work. It’s just a shame that more wasn’t made of his role, rather than generally using him as another obstacle for Milton to overcome on the quest to rescue his Grandchild.

On equally strong form is Heard as he waitress Piper who unwittingly becomes Milton’s sidekick. Piper’s character though suffers like so many other aspects of the film from some clumsy characterisation which see’s her character randomly switching back and forth from helpless damsel in distress to ass kicking firecracker on a whim, which is frequently frustrating when you have scenes of her catching her cheating fiancé in bed with another woman who she proceeds to beat the hell out of, as she tosses her out of her trailer, only to then suddenly fall apart when it comes to facing off against her fiancé suddenly losing any of her awesome fighting skills she had only moments earlier, with the only reason being seemingly so that Milton can come and rescue her like a knight in grungy leathers.

As with Lussier’s previous film, the enjoyable remake of “My Bloody Valentine” this film was also released originally in 3D, which as with his previous film I never saw in 3D but rather the 2D conversion which does mean that the once 3D moments now stand out looking like cheap CGI. This of course is a minor issue and one generally covered by the fact that I don’t own a HD TV. Where the real issue is though is that Lussier uses the 3D format in what is very much an old school style in that it is more about the spectacle (and generally seeing what he can throw at the audience). On the plus side this lust for spectacle does occasionally play in the films favour, as it opens with Milton driving a muscle car out of hell, with finale seing Milton and Piper take on King’s army of redneck Satanists in an epic shootout, which includes also includes such highlights members of such as the random naked machine gun welding chick and cultists ablaze and still frenziedly shooting shotguns. Sadly for a film whose title and trailer which sells itself as being high on car smash excitement, feels largely sterile thanks to Lussier largely favouring green screen or over car rigs, which considering that he has a gearhead like Cage on the film seems like a wasted opportunity to have done more like “Gone In Sixty Seconds” for which Cage his own driving still stands a strong testament to his skills behind the wheel.

Sadly this is far from the neo-grindhouse experience I was hoping for, especially when this is a film were whenever it manages to give the viewer something special I couldn’t help but feel that I had seen it done better before, leaving me with an ultimately hollow viewing experience with a prime example being its shootout during sex which honestly was done better in the underrated “Shoot em-up”, while the dialogue frequently comes off like someone doing a poor Tarantino impersonation. Maybe with the right setting this film could have been a more fun experience, but from this viewing I was left ultimately cold and largely irritated. As such I advise it as one to approach with caution even for Nicolas Cage completists like myself.

Title: Leprechaun

Director: Mark Jones

Released: 1993

Starring: Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, Ken Olandt, Mark Holton, Robert Gorman, John Sanderford, Shay Duffin

Plot: Daniel O’Grady (Duffin) returns home from a trip to Ireland, having managed to steal a leprechaun’s (Davis) pot of gold. Unbeknownst to him though is that the evil Leprechaun has followed him back to the U.S. Having captured the creature for a second time and sealed him in a crate O’Grady suffers a stroke while trying to burn the crate. Now ten years later J.D. (Sanderford) and his teenage daughter Tory (Aniston) rent the O’Grady farmhouse for the summer were they unwittingly release the imprisoned Leprechaun, who once again sets out to find his pot of gold

Review: While perhaps not as big a franchise as “Friday the 13^th” or “Nightmare on Elm St”; “Leprechaun” like “Critters” has still managed to garner a cult following which in turn has spawned five sequels. Still despite this for one reason or another it has taken me until now to finally get around to watching the first of the series, which is also renown for also being the first movie role for Jennifer Aniston before she shot to fame the following year on “Friends”, joining the long line of actors who got their first big break in horror and one which includes luminaries such as Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween), Kevin Bacon (Friday The 13^th) and Tom Hanks (He Knows That Your Alone) to but skim the surface.

This film really is a mixed bag to say the least, most of all because it falls in that tricky place between horror and comedy, with director Jones seemingly never sure what tone he wants for the film, as it frequently switches between the two only without any of the smooth transition that “Gremlins” and “Critters” featured. So while Davis plays the Leprechaun largely for laughs, there are frequent moments throughout the film where he suddenly switches to a much darker side of the character and often with no warning. At the same time the frequently violent and gory attacks which accompany this darker side drag the film back to horror, while generally leaving the viewer confused over what they should be feeling, especially when it is not being played with any of the dark humour that Peter Jackson brought to his early splatterfests like “Bad Taste” or “Braindead” which showed that splatter and laughs could work together without losing any of the potential horror. This however is something which really doesn’t happen here, as everytime I felt a good horror vibe being built, it would suddenly be side lined by some misfire attempt at humour.

Most of these attempts at humour though come from the titular Leprechaun, with director Jones clearly using “Gremlins” as his basis for the film, especially seeing how the Leprechaun seemingly can’t do anything without wheeling out a wacky prop, so hence we are treated to him following the group into town on a tricycle which he is somehow able to ride as fast as a car and making me wonder if he take the same steroids the kids in “E.T.” were obviously taking to outrun the feds on their BMX Bikes. Elsewhere he also manages to kill one minor character using a pogo stick!! Seriously how much does he weigh!?! Still my personal favourite has to be the toy car which once again seems to be faster than other car, aswell as somehow being able to T-bone a car so hard it flips over, as clearly the laws of physics don’t apply here, along with it seems logic and reason.

As frustrating as these misfire attempts at humour or general randomness are, were the film gets really irritating is when the supposed heroes Tory and her father are joined in the fight against the Leprechaun by token love interest Nathan (Olandt), his bratty little brother Alex (Gorman) and their man child friend Ozzie (Holton) who run the painting company “Three Guys Who Paint”. You see what they did there….yeah well that’s the kind of tortured attempts at humour the film specialises in. Still for some reason Jones feels that the relationship between Ozzie and Alex is adorable enough to make it one of the main plotlines, much to the misfortune of the viewer who has to endure their grinding conversations and plans to fix Ozzie’s brain using the gold. Still seemingly these numskulls are Tory’s only hope for surviving the night as she seems frequently helpless on her own with even the most easiest of things over whelming her, after all this is a woman who has to be shown how to paint, when you would have felt it would have been kind of obvious, while her father randomly disappears around the halfway point.

What really surprised me about the film though is how surprisingly gory it was, as the Leprechaun attacks frequently get quite bloody, thanks to his penchant for clawing and biting his victims. The real gooey fun though is kept for the finale, were it turns out that Leprechaun’s tend to die in a similarly slimy fashion as Gremlins. Still for those of you fond of a bout of dwarf bashing, then you may find much to enjoy here, as it turns out that Leprechaun’s are also tough as old leather, especially seeing how over the course of the film he is beaten, shot and frequently clubbed with a variety of blunt objects while still coming back for more, which really saying something when you also consider that he is supposed to be 600 years old, he really is quite the spritely Leprechaun.

While the film has its flaws it is hard to deny the effective Leprechaun make up, which reminded me of how effective old school effects can be, especially in these times were it has been largely made a defunct art form in favour of frequently ropey looking CGI. Credit also has to be given to Davis for bringing this creation to life, even if he never seems to quite nail an Irish accent, he still manages to atleast bring a sense of fun to the character, even when the character choices become increasingly random as the film goes on. Still it would seem something about the character appeals to Davis who has gone on to star in all five sequels showing the sort of devotion to a character that Robert Englund showed for Freddy Krueger.

A flawed film to say the least and one which if more tweaked could have been something special, which sadly this one fails to do, especially when it frequently gives with one hand and takes with the other, as its pro’s and con’s seem to be in constant conflict, something I’ve yet to see if it improves with the sequels. Meanwhile WWE films currently have taken of the series rights with plans of making a prequel and sequel as a vehicle for Hornswoggle their Leprechaun gimmick wrestler / sidekick, which at the time of writing still remains in development hell. In the meantime though I doubt this is the last time I will be seeing him again, even as frequently painful this film was, it still leaves you curious to see more though if these pros are picked up and built upon still remains to be seen.

Title: Rewind This!

Director: Josh Johnson
Released: 2013
Starring: Atom Egoyan, Jason Eisener, Frank Henenlotter, Charles Brand, Cassandra Petersen, Mamoru Oshii, Shôko Nakahara

Plot: Charting the cultural and historical impact of VHS, as it changed the way films were not only made but distributed, while at the same time also meeting the fanboys who ensure that the legacy of the format continues to live on.

Review: Previously as part of my review for “Xtro 2: TheSecond Encounter” I talked about my love of old school video shops, which sadly are non-existent here in the UK outside of Blockbuster who continue to fight on, despite pressure from the online rental brands like Lovefilm and Netflix who constantly threaten to take them over. These old school shops, as especially true in the case of my own local “The Video Bug” would rarely get rid of any tapes and instead just build more bookcases or stack them up to the ceiling, in turn providing a wonderland of colourful cases and frequently graphic covers and film stills, which I would spend hours just looking through these covers and imaging the delights which they contained within. Needless to say VHS like Vinyl has always had the kind of presence and strange allure that DVD or Blu-ray has never quite been able to replicate and it’s a love for this now defunct format that this debut documentary from Director Johnson sets out to explore.

Needless to say this is not going to be a documentary which is for everyone especially as it’s essentially a VHS fans wet dream, providing not only tantising clips of forgotten cult classics like Leslie Nielsen’s “Bad Golf Made Easier”, “Street Trash”, “Black Devil Doll From Hell”, “Crime Hunter” and Bubba Smith’s workout video “Bubba Until It Hurts” to name but a few of the wealth of titles featured here. Like “Not Quite Hollywood” and “American Grindhouse” this is also a documentary fuelled by the wealth of footage it offers and the untapped enthusiasm from the diverse range of interview subjects from directors like Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case), Mamoru Oshii (Ghost In The Shell) and owner of Full Moon Features and cult cinema legend Charles Brand through to personalities like Cassandra Petersen (Better known as Late Night Horror hostess Elvira) and actress Shôko Nakahara (Visitor Q) who openly sites VHS copies of Jennifer Connelly movies as being the inspiration for her becoming an actress. Elsewhere the film is also rounded out by colourful interviews with collectors and bloggers who are often eager to share their favourite tapes from their collections as part of a subtle game of collector one upmanship.

These interview subjects are of course just really a taste, as to list everyone featured would no doubt add an extra page onto this review. The range of subjects though only continued to surprise me as the documentary went on, while certainly hitting a high with the inclusion of the always deliriously enthusiastic Frank Henenlotter who as always is on fine form here, as he proves himself not only a devoted fan but also a great source of insights while also providing many of my favourite moments as he disregards criterion covers as “Boring”, while citing the cover of “The House of Whipcord” as an example of a good cover. Still lets not forget though that he also gave the world the wonderful talking case for “Frankenhooker” which screamed “Want A Date” when you pressed the button on the case, something fondly remembered by several of the interviewees despite none of them including Henenlotter having a copy with a working button, no doubt due to them being burnt out by over enthusiastic film fans years earlier.

Despite Johnson clearly trying to ensure as diverse range of subjects are featured as possible, I couldn’t help but notice the absence of Quentin Tarantino who I felt would have been an obvious choice, especially with his video store background let alone his well-documented love for the films of the VHS era. At the same time critics such as Brad Jones (The Cinema Snob) and Noah Antwiler (The Spoony Experiment), let alone UK critics like Mark Kermodeor my own film critic hero Kim Newman though he does include another of my heroes Tom Mes. While it is understandable that to stop the documentary spiralling off into a five hour film by trying to include everyone’s view point there has to be a limit, but despite this Tarantino’s absence is still left a puzzling one.

Ignoring the traditional and preferred use of voice over to provide a framework, Johnson instead makes the bold choice of allowing his interviewees tell the story of VHS, with their individual stories coming together and frequently complementing each other to provide a rich history for the format, especially with Johnson looking at it from seemingly every conceivable angle, with even a brief look at how VHS took porn out of the XXX theatres by providing the discreet alternative for its clientele while in turn blowing the business into the multi-million dollar industry it has become today.

While this might be a nostalgic look back, Johnson still ends the film looking positivly towards the future as enthusiasts continue hold movie nights celebrating the forgotten films still only available on VHS. It is during this portion of the documentary that we also meet the force of nature which is David “The Rock” Nelson the rabidly independent film maker still shooting on video making ultra-low budget monster movies, earning him the reputation of being the modern day Ed Wood as he cranks out such colourfully titled shorts like “The Devil Ant” and “Dracula vs. Sodom Insane”. A truly unique personality to say the least, his appearance might be a little too much for some viewers and thankfully Johnson doesn’t allow his appearance to overshadow the rest of the documentary or run to the point of irritation, much like so many of the bigger personalities featured here who only come off the stronger thanks to Johnson maintain a strong focus on what’s important to the story he is telling and what is just fan boy over enthusiasm.

Despite being an obvious love letter to VHS, the documentary still remains accessible to the uninitiated who might be curious about what the fuss is all about, while at the same time providing enough insight into the phenomena that there is still plenty of interest to those like myself who still fondly hold onto their VHS, when most folks have already sent theirs to the great landfill in the sky, meaning that numerous titles which never got transferred to DVD could potentially have disappeared for ever, making the role of collectors only all the more vital as the documentary further serves to highlight as archivist Caroline Frick soberly points out while worrying highlighting the potential risk of lost titles should these tapes be left to deteriorate.

True the appeal of this documentary might be limited, but for cult cinema fans and converted VHS enthusiasts I can’t recommend this film enough, as its worthy of a place in your collection, while no doubt giving you a new host of titles to hunt down, which for myself is always the sign of a good movie documentary and while it might not be the most high profile release of the year it is none the less essential and well worth hunting down.

Title: Stoker
Director: Park Chan-Wook
Released: 2013
Staring: Mia Wasikowska, Dermot Mulroney, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode

Plot: India Stoker (Wasikowska) solitary and privileged life is thrown into a tailspin by the death of her father Richard (Mulroney). Left with her estranged and mildly unstable mother Evelyn (Kidman), who upon meeting Richard’s charming and charismatic brother Charlie (Goode) at the funeral invites him to stay with them, unaware of the secrets he is hiding.

Review: There is always going to be a certain amount of hesitation whenever one of the heavy hitters of foreign cinema decides to make a stab at the English speaking market, especially when there is the prospect of their style not translating to a Western audience, let alone the inevitable meddling from studio bosses. A fate which has sadly befallen many a great director with Guillermo del Toro’s “Mimic” certainly being a prime example of such meddling. Now Park Chan-Wook throws his directing hat into the international directing ring, after wowing us previously with his Vengeance trilogy, which included the soon to be (unnecessary) remade “Oldboy”, while he also showed us a lighter and more playful side with the sadly overlooked “I’m A Cyborg, But That’s OK” which he made for his daughter. Both showcased his visual flair with frequent love for unconventional plot points, such as the sign language sex scene in “Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance”. Needless to say I was curious to see how his style would translate, while equally interested to see if his style would be forced to be toned back to suit a western audience. Thankfully Chan-Wook fans can rest assured that he has lost none of his visual flair in the transition from his native Korea, with this Hitchcock influenced tale.

Okay at this point I probably have said too much about this film, as this is certainly one best seen blind. True this is no easy feat these days were information is but a mouse click away. I will also state right now that there is a high chance of spoilers ahead so consider yourself warned. So save yourself now and go watch what is possibly one of the more original and rewarding releases of this year and then come back to read the rest of this review or potential ruin some of the surprises.

Scripted by Wentworth Miller who is no doubt better known as an actor especially to fans of “Prison Break”, but here he proves himself equally capable as a screenwriter, while equally keen for his work to stand on its own merits rather than due to his star power, as seen by the fact that he submitted the script along with a prequel, "Uncle Charlie" under the pseudonym Ted Foulke stating that

“I just wanted the scripts to sink or swim on their own”.

Despite the obvious assumption from the title to assume that this is yet another vampire movie, thankfully it isn’t despite the intentional nod to the grandfather of vampire fiction, "Stoker" is in fact a psychological thriller with horror undertones, with the title also being a literal indication of the role Charlie’s sudden appearance plays. It is worth noting though that this film is not one for the inpatient movie goer especially seeing how the first half is certainly a slow burn as Chan-Wook slowly moves the pieces into place, before slowly revealing the truth behind the mystery which hangs over the family as paranoia runs high over who Charlie really is. Even more so as he worms his ways further into the family through India’s mother who soon warms to his obvious charms and pretentious cooking skills. Goode really embodies the role and easily carries off the air of mystery which constantly surrounds Charlie, while equally chilling when he reveals his true colours in the second half. Equally interesting is how the film is almost entirely shot around the family home, with only a handful of scenes being shot outside of this location, ensuring that the viewer’s focus is kept with these three characters only occasionally bringing in a supporting character, when required to drive the story forward or add another angle to their characters. Thankfully they are interesting enough for this strategy to work, while such maintained focus only serves to crank up the tension further, as Chan-Wook teases out his final twist, which is only further highlights that the only thing which has changed with Chan-Wook making this film in the Hollywood studio system is the language his actors are speaking.

The cast here are all perfectly cast in their roles, with Kidman continuing her love of working with creative directors, having previously worked with Stanley Kubrick, Lars Von Trier and Baz Luhrmann, it would only make sense that she would eventually make a film with Chan-Wook and while it might be more of a supporting role than you would expect from such a big name actress. Meanwhile Wasikowska continues to mark herself out as an actress to watch, as she perfectly embodies the disconnected nature of India who actively distances herself from her classmates, while perfectly portraying her slow decent into a much darker side, as Charlie’s influence over her and her mother becomes all the more present.

It is worth noting for the establish fans of Chan-Wook’s work that the violence here is actually kept to a minimum, though still maintaining all his usual flair as simple acts like Charlie slowly removing his belt of India icily looking down the sights of her rifle, still showcasing that even when he isn’t shocking us he is still scarily effective at making even the most simplist of moments visually stimulating, especially with his long standing DP Chung-hoon Chung also present here to ensure that his trademark inventiveness behind the camera is present. This visual flair is non the more present than with the scenes between India and Charlie, especially during the more erotically charged scenes such as a duet they share over the piano which positively crackles with (questionable) sexual tension, much like the shots of her masturbating in the shower after despatching of a would be attacker while replaying the event in her head. Like the occasional burst of violence scattered throughout the film, these moments are so sudden and often without warning that the viewer is given no chance to prepare for what they are watching, which only makes them all the more effective.

While perhaps not as good as some of his previous films perhaps due to it being the first film which Chan-Wook hasn't written himself, it is none the less a positive start for his first venture into the English language market, while certainly giving us one of the more interesting films of the year.

While I might tend to keep this blog largely review focused, rather than cluttering it with news updates and daily musings, it was the release of this latest collection of character posters from the maverick director Lars Van Trier's latest offering "Nymphomaniac" which filled me with the urge for this post, if only to collect together this curious yet strangely beautiful collection of posters.

A saga of flesh and sex in which Charlotte Gainsbourg plays Joe, a young woman recounting her sexual history after being found beaten in an alley, the film is currently be set to be released in both a soft and explicit cut, while also being developed as a two film project in what is certainly one of the more intriguing forthcoming releases, with this new poster only adding to the curiosity.

Slated for a curious Christmas Day release in Norway and Denmark, the rumour mill is currently hinting at a XXX release in Cannes. In the meantime though why not enjoy these posters which only further highlight the tantalising mixture of talent involved, so why not let me know which one is your favourite.

Title: Hobo With A Shotgun

Director: Jason Eisener
Released: 2011
Starring: Rutger Hauer, Molly Dunsworth, Brian Downey, Gregory Smith, Nick Bateman, Pasha Ebrahimi, Jeremy Akerman, Peter Simas

Plot: A nameless Hobo (Hauer) arrives in Hope Town via a freight train box car with plans of buying a lawnmower and to start a new life for himself. However when he soon discovers that Hope Town has long since decended into lawless chaos, with the locals now referring to it as “Scum Town” while being ruled by the ruthless crime lord “The Drake” (Downey). Now arming himself with a pump action shotgun the Hobo sets out to dish out his own brand of vigilante justice.

Review: It’s true I might be alittle behind the bandwagon for this one, seeing how it was greeted with much excitement upon its release as it marked the start of the second wave of Neo-grindhouse movies being released in the wake of “Grindhouse”, a film I’ve already commented on numerous times previously due to its distribution being screwed up by the Weinstein’s figuring that British audiences (and pretty much everywhere outside of the states) were too dumb to get the format and split it into its individual films, rather than give us the true experience. Still it the legacy of the film and the Neo-Grindhouse genre it kick startednnot only gave us the trailer which spawned “Machette” aswell as “Machette Kills”, but also gave the world the first glimpse of this film as it appeared as one of the fake trailers on some prints of “Grindhouse”.

Right from the start director Eisener who makes his feature directorial debut here clearly likes to wear his influences on his sleeve, which in this case would seem to be largely gained from the OTT style of Troma Studios while mixing it up with the splatter and social satire style of Paul Verhoeven, all of which is clear from the opening scenes, which includes a barbwire decapitation and fountains of blood while the crime ridden streets of the streets of scum town seem to have been transplanted from Verhoeven’s classic “Robocop”. Still even the briefest of looks at the trailer alone highlights that like his inspirations, Eisener is not the sort of director who does anything subtly making the Neo-Grindhouse genre the perfect playground for his style, especially as its audience come expecting violence and splatter and here Eisener delivers both in spades.

Still there is thankfully a brain behind the splatter (if a delightfully sleazy one) as while he has certainly crafted one of the more splatter heavy films of recent years, Eisener still bothers to craft a half decent tale before getting distracted with unleashing carnage. On the downside his approaches to the material is with so excitable and frenzied, it can feel at times like you’re watching the product of a kid with ADD while on a sugar binge. At the same time he frequently stumbles when faced with the slower paced sequences as seen during the more tender moments between the hobo and aspiring school teacher turned prostitute Abby (Dunsworth) who despite seemingly having nothing in common, the Hobo recognises her innocence despite the world around them which continually threatens to corrupt her innocence.

Unsurprisingly the film is far from the deepest of viewing experiences with Eisener having a good eye for characterisation as he crafts some truly memorable characters, who are truly brought to life here with some great casting choices, with Hauer as the nameless hobo full of pure grit and snarl while Downey makes a perfect counter as the ruthless and sadistic Drake, whose love of showmanship and theatrics makes him the perfect centre piece in the collection of villainy and scum that Eisener has filled the streets of Scum town with. Oh and what a collection of scumbags it is, for like “The Toxic Crusader” these streets lined with the likes of the paedophile Santa and the director making bum fights style movies, all of which soon find themselves soon enough on the business end of the hobo’s shotgun as he sets about cleaning up the town and with such a black and white devide behind good and evil, there is no real moral questions raised regarding the hobos methods. Even more so when The Drake responds to the Hobo’s actions by carring out a mass hobo genocide in one of the films splatter centrepieces. Sadly he does miss a trick by underusing “The Plague” a pair of hired gun and full blown psycho’s hired by The Drake, who also dress like the medieval version of Daft Punk. However they are only introduced in the final quarter, leaving kind of disappointed that they are not used more, especially when they are such a unique and fun creation and generally hoping that Eisener finds some way of reusing them.

While most of the film is generally a care free exploitation throw back with Eisener generally flipping the bird to the censors and mainstream Hollywood, there are however a few moments were I felt the film perhaps overstepped the mark perhaps slightly too much and these were in the few scenes which saw children being openly threatened, while a school bus of kids being incinerated by a flame thrower to the strains of Disco Inferno just comes off as tasteless, even if it does makes a suitable setup for the death of one character whose soul we seeing being metaphorically dragged to hell in the same burning school bus.

As always the case with any film junkie who uses their expansive film knowledge in their film making the need to draw comparisons between them and Tarantino seems almost inevitable like Adam Green, but here Eisener seems only concerned with using the films which influenced this film as a reference point for his shooting style especially as he shoots the film in saturated and shifted colours rather than trying to reimagine scenes from the films he draws inspiration from. The soundtrack itself is also a throwback while also baffling including Lisa Lougheed’s “Run With Us” which let’s not forget was memorably also used on the 80’s childhood favourite “The Racoons” yet surprisingly it works rather well here.

A frequently grimy and hyperactive debut feature, but a noteworthy addition to the Neo-grindhouse genre, while were Eisener will go next is till unclear but providing he can dial back his over brimming enthusiasm slightly he could certainly be an interesting director to follow, especially if this debut is anything to go off.

Title: Curse of Chucky

Director: Don Mancini
Released: 2013
Starring: Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif, Danielle Bisutti, A. Martinez, Brennan Elliot, Maitland McConnell, Summer H. Howell, Chantal Quesnelle, Jennifer Tilly, Alex Vincent

Plot: Set four years after the events of “Seed of Chucky”, where wheelchair bound Nica (Fiona Dourif) mysteriously receives Chucky (Brad Dourif) in the mail looking surprisingly the same as his original good guy doll form (you know prior to the amount of damage he picked up over the course of the previous films). Unaware of whom sent him or even what he is, disregards the doll who after Nica’s mother mysteriously dies from apparent suicide ends up in the hands of her niece Alice as the Nica’s sister Barb with husband and nanny in tow arrive to handle their mothers funeral. However mysterious deaths soon to befell the group as Nica soon begins to suspect that the may be more to the doll than first suspected.

Review: Entering into this sixth film in the “Child’s Play” franchise there is certainly the nagging question of what the saga really had left of offer? A question certainly relevant at this point in the series now we have seen the living doll serial killer get married and even somehow spawn a son (still not sure how that really worked). So with this in mind where could the series possibly head next with it only looking more likely that the series be sent to one of the possible franchise graveyards such as putting Chucky into space or perhaps Hawaii (a suggestion previously posed by Director John Waters when he cameoed in “Seed of Chucky”).

Certainly the future for the series did look bleak after the last film, which ultimately turned out to be a car crash of half-baked ideas and random casting. So you can only imagine my surprise to hear that at Frightfest this year there would be a new Chucky film premiering, something only added to by the news that this would not be a remake or even a reboot, something which seems to the current favourite approach to milking established franchises these days, so credit really has to be given to director and series creator Don Mancini for bucking the trend and not only finding a way to continue the on-going Chucky saga, but for also for somehow breathing new life into a franchise which by all appearances was dead and done. True it is a direct to video release, making it the first of the series to not see a theatre release (aswell as the first shot digital) which only makes it more of a shame considering how it is also possibly the strongest entry since my personal favourite “Child’s Play 2”.

Now for the established fans of the series there may be a sneaking feeling of Déjà vu, especially seeing how similar the plot might seem to that of the original film, what with Alice having secret conversations with Chucky and the grown-ups generally disregarding her comments as being part of a game she is playing. Meanwhile Chucky sneaks around in the background and randomly appears at various locations around the house. The fans should however fear not for while there might be similarities in plot framework this far from a remake or reboot trying to rework memorable sequences from the original into a new film. At the same time Mancini makes the ballsy move of using a slow burn reveal for Chucky, something unheard of especially when the character is so well known at this point in the series, the idea of pushing them into background appearances and brief glimpses hardly sounds like it would work, much less the fact that Chucky waits until around the 40 min mark to reveal himself to the group, yet surprisingly this really works as Mancini not only returns the series to its horror roots, despite having over the course of the last few films gradually moved the tone of the films more toward comedy. Here however he successfully reminds us how scary Chucky can be, especially when he more reknown for being a wise ass these days than an object of terror, again thanks to Mancini tweaking his character while the removal of Tily, removes the back and forth banter from were most of his comedy elements were gained from.

Brad Dourif is once again on great form (but does anyone want to name a film were he isn’t?) as he returns once more to voice Chucky and even though he is given less to say here with Douriff recording all his dialogue in a day, his presence however is still as memorable as always with all the usual mannerisms and memorable laugh all still kept faithfully intact. Elsewhere despite the more serious approach to his character Chucky still manages a few moments of murderous mischief including a round of guess who’s getting the bowl of rat poison chili, which will no doubt have you trying to figure out which character is going to get it in a scene played out gleefully with maximum misdirection and bluffs.

More interestingly though is that Dourif himself also makes an appearance in the film the first since the original film as he appears here as Chucky’s former human form, as we also get to learn more about Chucky’s past and how it links to Nica’s family as his random appearance into Nica’s life slowly starts to become less random, which in turn is only further credit to Mancini’s writing that he is not only able to craft here a clever mystery, yet also being able to tie it into the rest of the Chucky timeline, so much so that I frequently found any gripes I had regarding characters seemingly being written out or even regarding the seemingly new Chucky model being covered as the film, almost as if Mancini was reworking the film as I was watching it to handle those gripes.

While on the subject of Dorif though, it is certainly worth mentioning his daughter appearing opposite her father here as the feisty Nica whom being confined to a wheelchair not only provides the film with numerous interesting situations to overcome such as trying to get to the top floor of the house when the power to the elevator has been cut. Equally the idea of a paraplegic heroine is certainly something that’s never been seen before, with handicapped characters, usually being confined to supporting characters than the lead, especially in the case of horror and here it gives the film a shake-up which combined with the slowly mounting tension, with scenes such as Chucky using a blackout to stab here in the leg, before returning to his doll form, Nica of course not being able to feel him stab here there left looking confused as to how she got the wound is cleverfully used while Chucky continues to hide his presence as he shows the kind of restrain not seen since the first film, which of course only further keeps the audience guessing on how things are going to turn out.
Despite more directors these days favouring the use of CGI over practical effects it is refreshing to see this film staying true to its roots and one again using animatronics for the majority of the Chucky effects and only using CGI for the more complicated sequences which see him running around in the background or walking slowly down the stairs, it’s really another example of how CGI should be used in film making as an assist rather than the sole means of bringing fantastical creations to the screen, with the presence Chucky still maintains as a result of this process only being further evidence to the argument.

While the rumours continue regarding a studio reboot for the series, Mancini has here given the story once more potential new directions for the story to go, which certainly makes me hope the wait won’t be as long between this latest edition and the next, especially when Mancini has reignited interest in the series for even the most jaded of fans.

Title: Konga

Director: John Lemont
Released: 1961
Starring: Michael Gough, Margo Johns, Jess Conrad, Claire Gordon, Austin Trevor, Jack Watson, George Pastell, Vanda Godsell, Stanley Morgan

Plot: After his plane crashes in the African jungles, a year later after being presumed to be dead British botanist Dr. Charles Decker (Gough) suddenly comes back, while also having found a way of growing plants and animals to enormous size. Accompanied him aswell is his pet chimp “Konga” who is soon playing an important part in the doctors plans for revenge.

Review: For most people Michael Gough will always be associated with playing Batman’s butler Alfred and true it’s easy to understand why as he did truly own the iconic role. At the same time there are those who view Gough as an under the radar horror icon with his appearances in “Horrors of the Black Museum” and “Satan’s Slave” and it was during this horror period that he also made this film, which set out to give Britain its own version of “King Kong” which interestingly would also be the same year that we got our own version of “Godzilla” with the enjoyably daft “Gorgo”.

Unsurprisingly producer Herman Cohen while seemingly being inspired by “King Kong” it would be more precisely the idea of making a giant ape movie in colour that inspired him the most when it came to making this film, while developing the film under the working title of “I Was a Teenage Gorilla” a nod to his earlier success “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” regardless of how nonsensical the title would seem against the finished film. So paying RKO Pictures $25,000 for the rights to the name Kong with a focus purely on making an exploitation film, the end results are decidedly strange to say the least.

Right from the start it is clear that Dr. Decker is up to something as he is shown breeding man-eating Venus flytraps in his greenhouse lab as part of his tests of his serum which soon sees him testing it on his pet chimp Konga, turning him from a playful chimp to a man in a questionable Gorilla costume. Yes I know gorillas and chimpanzees are completely different breeds, so either Dr. Decker’s Serum changes an animal’s breed as well as causing monstrous growth or more likely Director Lemont just felt that the audience wouldn’t notice the difference. Still this is not any old gorilla suit, as it also belonged to legendry ape actor George Barrows who amongst his many ape roles also played the memorably unique looking Ro-Man The Monster in the trash classic “Robot Monster”. However Lemont only hired his gorilla suit rather than Barrows himself, only to return the costume in less than perfect condition, much to the distain of Barrows while only raising more questions as to what Lemont had been doing with the suit during the shoot?

Having grown so used to Gough in his Alfred persona, it was quite a thrill seeing him playing such a devious role, more so perhaps because of seeing him as this loveable old man and faithful butler to now see him scheming and sending his killer ape off to kill his enemies and it's a role he plays well, especially the more he gets caught up in his scheme especially as he frequently hams it up clearly knowing the standard of film being made, hardly masking his evil genius as we are barely ten minutes into the film before he start dropping hints as he potters around his home laboratory while also finding time to letch over one of his pretty students Sandra (Gordon) who soon unwittingly become central to Dr. Deckers plans, especially when he is sending Konga off to kill her boyfriend.

The idea of Dr. Decker using his killer ape for murder through the power of hypnosis might be a slight disappointment for a film essentially sold as a giant ape on the rampage movie, though it does still provide a fair amount of unintentionally amusing moments such as Konga hiding in the bushes and generally looking like he should be wearing a trench coat and trilby hat, especially when he has such a shifty expression on his face. Still giant ape fans should fear not as the finale finally gives us our giant ape, as Konga gets a super-sized dose of serum causing him to grow to a monstrous size before heading off on a mini rampage while Dr. Decker also receives the Fay Wray treatment before they soon encounter possibly the most well prepared group of soldiers to ever be featured in a monster movie and all without the need of a giant map or lengthy discussion between Generals while they push small models around the map. So surprisingly prepared for the threat of a giant ape I half expected someone to pipe up with “This is what we prepared for boys!” especially considering how quickly they stop the giant ape threat and disappointingly before he has had chance to cause much carnage, but then seeng how the film is seemingly set in a quaint little village there is only so much damage he could really cause, while the film ultimately as a result misses a trick by not being set in London, which could have seen Konga climbing Big Ben or even Nelson’s Column swiping at Spitfire’s.

While the film moves at a quick place to set Dr. Decker and his schemes in motion, with everything pretty much in place by the first twenty minutes, it does however drag in other places, as we are forced to endure mind numbing conversations between minor characters such a Sandra’s boyfriend and his parents, which had me eager to see him taken out as quickly as possible, so I didn’t have to ensure anymore of his yammering. Meanwhile for a man so focused on revenge Dr. Decker’s targets are actually pretty minimal and more to do with personal snubs or threats on his research than any real form of planned revenge.

Ultimately the film never seems to know what it want to be as it skips from one B-movie genre to the next as Gough hams it up with his mad scientist antics, before it switches to being a killer ape movie, before finally giving us the long awaited giant ape on the rampage which the poster promises us. Still when you in the mood for a man in a hokey monkey costume this is one of the better ones and certainly more entertaining than my previous attempt at finding one of these film with the ho-hum “Bride of The Gorilla”. Still if you want to see us Brit's rip off someone else's monster movie personally I would stick with "Gorgo" or maybe just watch the originals.

Title: Class of Nuke ‘Em High

Director: Richard W. Haines, Lloyd Kaufman
Released: 1986
Starring: Janelle Brady, Gil Brenton, Robert Prichard, Pat Ryan Jr., James Nugent Vernon, Brad Dunker, Gary Schneider, Theo Cohan, Gary Rosenblatt, Mary Taylor, Rick Howard, Lauren Heather McMahon, Arther Lorenz

Plot: Strange things are afoot as Tromaville High School, with nuclear radiation leaking into the school from the power planet next door, things only get weirder when Warren and Chrissy are unwittingly given radioactive pot.

Review: The films of “Troma Entertainment” have always been an acquired taste to say the least, as despite frequently feeling the wrath of the critics with each new film they release, they have at the same time continued to be supported by a rabid fan base. After all what other studio can boast its own free festival promotional team made up completely of its fans? Equally Troma owner Lloyd Kaufman has frequently played a similar role to Roger Corman in assisting up and coming directors and actors in getting their first breaks in the industry including “Guardians of the Galaxy” director James Gunn (Tromeo and Juliet), “South Park” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker (Cannibal! The Musical) and even J.J. Abrams (Nightbeast) to name but a few! At the same time Kaufman has been equally keen to inspire others to make their own trash movies with his now dated due to their focus on shooting on film, but still amusing “Make Your Own Darn Movie” series of books.

Needless to say a Troma film is always a unique experience and this is none the less true here, with the film opening with nerdy student Dewey (Lorenz) accidently drinking nuclear waste out of a drinking fountain before suddenly freaking out and punching classmates before finally throwing himself out of a window, where he proceeds to melt into a gooey puddle on the concrete. Still this incident pales in comparison to the general issues that Tromaville High School has, with the hallways lined with random horny students constantly making out, while the debate team have turned into a psychotic biker gang called “The Cretins”, while look like rejects from “The Warriors” with their truly random styling, including Gonzo (Dunker) who dresses like a tribal warrior and even welds a bone while wearing a stupidly huge nose ring. Still within this mass of random characters none of whom seem to belong in the same movie, we have the young and innocent (well compared to their classmates) lovers Warren and Chrissy who after smoking the radioactive pot, which the Cretins are marketing as “Atomic High” picked from the nearby power plant they soon find themselves suffering from bizarre side effects with Warren soon gaining super strength, while the two are soon overcome with overwhelming horniness.

No doubt this all sounds random enough, but this of course is before you take into account the genre hoping antics taking place within the film as it switches between a horror, teen sex comedy and even superhero elements as Warren set out to take out the members of the Cretins, in a scene which comes across like a throwback to Troma favourite “The Toxic Crusader” as he appears with a mutated head and toxic waste squirting out of his ears. However despite this radical change he randomly be back to normal by the next time we see him. Still this is all without mentioning the mutant monster which Chrissy vomits into the school toilet only to later come back in its adult form for the finale where it soon sets about making short work of the remaining members of the cast.

The film is packed with the trademark splatter the Troma has over the years become renown for, all of course done with old school effects which are certainly creative to say the least, especially when they include Warren jamming his arm down one gang members throat, while another gang member gets his head punched through by Chrissy’s monstrous offspring. These of course just a few of the gory delights contained within, with Kaufman once again showing his ability to stretch a budget which is not limited to him intentionally changing the original name of the film from “Nuke ‘Em High” in hopes of people mistaking it for “Class of 1984”, with his crafty financial ways even making the mutant monster seem impressive despite it being incomplete at the time of filming, meaning that you never see the full creature only it’s hands and face, it still comes off pretty impressive and even more when you compare it to the CGI creations of late.

Moving at a rapid pace there always seems to be something happening throughout the film, even if it frequently fails to make a whole lot of sense, while the frequent bouts of gore and violence, provide most of highlights especially when the story so frequently feels like they are making it up as they go, which could knowing Troma be all so true. However the film in best b-movie / exploitation style does show you things you things you’d be unlikely to see anywhere else (and often with good reason) with the Cretin’s taking over the school and riding their motorcycles through the halls being especially memorable, much like the drug fuelled dreams of Warren and Chrissy which not only feature mutations aplenty, but also Warren sporting a monster (literally in this case) erection as he makes not so much a tent but a marque with his bed sheets. As with the majority of Troma’s output it is hard to recommend this film, as like most of John Water’s early film it is more a case of challenging you to experience it and make up your own mind, as this film is no different as its one you will either love or hate. Needless to say someone clearly did love this as it spawned two sequels which I guess I have doomed myself to watching at some point, much like I did by watching “Leprechaun” and while your regular movie goer will no doubt despise this, bad movie fans should atleast give this a look even if it does largely linger around the ass end of okay throughout.

Always a fan of an interesting blogathon, I found out about this one being hosted by “Cinematic Katzenjammer” thanks to The Gore Report over at “French Toast Sunday”. This one is especially cool seeing how it requires participants to pick four movies to represent each of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Despite the title, the rules of this blogathon do allow for movies outside of the horror genre to be chosen, which is something I have chosen to do here, while at the same time only choosing films I would write about here. So allow me to now present the movies representing the horsemen for me.

War - Starship Troopers

There is no doubting that “Starship Troopers” is the embodiment of war. Here is a film which takes frenzied battlefields aswell as the gruelling training of boot camp and transfers it into a sci-fi setting as we follow a group of friends recruited into various parts of the intergalactic war machine when earth enters into an interstellar war with the insectoid “Arachnids” in much the same way that James Cameron did for the Vietnam war when he made “Aliens”. Here though Verhoeven uses the underused sub-genre of Military Sci-fi to high certain aspects of American society as he plays around with fascist imagery while he also describes the movie “Let’s all go to war and let’s die”.

Throughout the film Verhoeven gives us various war film elements, even adapting his species of Arachnid to play various military roles from the swarming Bugs (Foot Soldiers) to the fire breathing and lumbering tanks (Heavy Artilery), elsewhere he fills the film with mock newsreels and propaganda films, while Verhoenen forever the agitator used Leni Riefenstahl’s Nazi propaganda film “Triumph of the Will” for inspiration when crafting the opening recruitment advertisement for the mobile infantry, something rather fitting considering how similar the iconography and uniforms seen throughout are to the Nazi’s especially when it comes to the intelligence division. All in all This is war, just on a very different battlefield.

Pestilence – Dawn of The Dead (2004)

Okay I know, I know I have no doubt committed a cardinal sin in opting for the Zack Snyder remake over the George A. Romero classic, but I do feel that if any film shows the chaos of an expected virus outbreak in the human population it is this film. Even more so when Snyder treats the zombie outbreak as a disease, with a focus on symptoms aswell as how the disease is transmitted all things barely glanced at in the original, which focused more on survival and containment.

Switching almost without warning from a suburban daydream to an apocalyptic nightmare, we are taken along with Ana as her world into thrown into chaos as she battles to escape from her house while all around her chaos reigns as the living soon succumb to this rapidly transferred zombie virus, while the sheet scale of the devastation is only further reinforced by the opening credits, which show cities falling into anarchy as the infection continues to be passed from one person to another, with no sign of salvation anywhere to be seen.

Famine – The Hole

Perhaps not the most extreme example of famine I could have chosen it’s true especially when the most obvious example would be to opt for Christian Bale’s shocking weight loss antics in “The Machinist” or perhaps Stephen King’s “Thinner”. Instead I opted for this film bizarrely over looked film which not only features memorable performances from both Thora Birch and Daniel Brocklebank but also memorably gruesome deaths for Laurence Fox and Keira Knightley which seeing how grating I find them, only adds to the appeal of this film.

Here the famine element is imposed on the group who duck out of a school field trip to instead hide out in an abandoned fallout shelter, while being locked inside by Liz’s (Birch) friend Martyn (Brocklebank). However when he doesn’t return to release them their supplies soon start getting low, a situation the film unflinchingly watches unfold as the group slowly begin to starve to death, especially the psychological aspects as the claustrophobic nature of the bunker only adds to the tension slowly being cranked up. At the same time though as the events are replayed by Liz it soon becomes apparent that not everything might not be as its seen, as the film slowly reveals what exactly happened in the hole.

Death – Kill Bill

True the most obvious choice would have been to choose one of the “Final Destination” films but if we are looking at one character who is essentially death incarnate it would be “The Bride” as she sets out on her quest for revenge against Bill and the members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. This comparison is especially true for Vol.1 where it seems that anyone who stands in her way is soon set to meet a painful end one way or another, be it a opportunist coma ward orderly Buck or the members of the Crazy 88’s whose battle with the Bride even now is still one of the standout moments (of oh so many) of Quentin Tarantino’s career.

Needless to say be it by by Hatori Hanzo sword or bootknife, The Bride certainly proves herself to be as deadly as she is beautiful, but like the black mambo she takes her codename from death is always close by.

Bonus: Conquest – War of the Worlds

Okay while most people would reel of War, Famine, Pestilence and Death if asked to name the four horsemen of the apocalypse, it would be unlikely that many (if any) would name Conquest who was part of the original line up, only to later be replaced by Pestilence (either that or he quit before they became famous). So perhaps if only as an excuse to include one more movie, especially this movie I choose to include it as part of my line up.

Bringing back fond childhood memories every time I watch it, while also being a sold adaptation of one of my favourite books, this well-known tale of invaders from Mars invading the Earth only to be defeated when mankind seemed doomed by microscopic bacteria is perfectly brought to the screen, even if the tripods are exchanged for sleek flying machines (some argue they use invisible legs) while also bringing the books setting forward to 1950. The aliens here care little for co-habiting Earth, having burnt out their resources on their home planet, their focus is solely on the conquest of Earth and making it their new home planet. These ideas would later be carried over and explored further in the TV series, but when it comes to conquering alien forces “War of the Worlds” is the definitive story.

Title: The American Scream

Director: Michael Stephenson
Released: 2012
Starring: Matthew Brodeur, Victor Bariteau, Manny Souza, Lori Souza, Richard Brodeur, Tina Bariteau

Plot: Director Michael Stephenson who previously brought us “Best Worst Movie” about the making of cult favourite “Troll 2”. Now he looks at three families in Fairhaven, Massachusetts who every Halloween transform their backyards into extravagant hunted attractions.

Review: This year when Halloween when was fast approaching some of my more excitable neighbours already had their decorations out ready in anticipation of most peoples second favourite Holiday, while my neighbour across the road from me has already got a Jack-O-Lantern out, which looking at its current decomposed state 2 days before the big night left me really hoping that they were planning on putting out a fresh one by the time Halloween rolled around. Still all of these pale in comparison to the “Home Haunter’s” featured in this documentary which Lindsay over at the amazing "French Toast Sunday" brought to my attention.

While the documentary might be about the three families, the real focus is more on the husbands who also to the ones most keen on spearheading the construction of their individual attractions, starting with Victor Bariteau who works at a financial company, replacing servers while desperately trying to support his family especially as he currently finds himself with the constant risk of being made unemployed. Next we have the father and son team of Rick and Matt Brodeur, a pair of part time clowns whose basement supplies them with the majority of their haunted house props. Finally we have Many Souza, who frequently helps Victor with his props and sculptures, when he’s not working on his own haunted house.

All three subjects in focus have their own approach to their work with Victor being the most serious, as he openly expresses how stressed the lead up makes him, while equally happy to admit to suffering from a short temper as he gets closer to his deadline. This however is not so much his personality, but rather a genuine love for what he does and the constant search for perfection and to top what he achieved the previous year, as he listens constantly to podcasts in his car, while even attending expo’s dedicated to the helping these home haunters improve and hone their skills, as seen with the footage taken from one seminar Victor attends, were the speaker is shown stressing the importance of planning scares and their build up. Manny on the other hand while dedicated and certainly competitive as he likes to keep track of all the other home haunters in the local area is perhaps less detail focused than Victor who favours the quantity of props and sculptures over quality, believing that the people who come through his haunted house care more about the scare than the details which have gone into them. Finally Rick and Matt’s efforts could be considered the most amateurish out of the three, while their overcrowded basement resembles a jumble sale, yet to them is a treasure trove of lights, costumes, signs and other props which they have amassed over the year. Needless to say they represent the vision most people have when they think of people constructing their own haunted houses, yet despite this they don’t seem deterred that their efforts might be over shadowed by the setups of Victor and Manny, while at the same time they still appear to have little trouble attracting an equal size crowd of thrill seekers.

Needless to say the families in focus of their light hearted documentary, really love Halloween or more precisely the men of these households who spearhead the yearly efforts to pull out bigger and better shocks for the delight of the local neighbour, with their efforts and hard work not being for profit with seemingly any money they make being given to charity, but out of pure love for the joy of scaring the hell out their neighbours. What is most interesting about them though is the fact that these are not professionals who work in the special effects industry, but rather average guys who have taught themselves how to make their attractions, slowly building on what they learn with each passing year. Still despite the men being at the center of the documentaries focus it also takes time to look at their families and friends, many who work behind the scenes with costuming and make up, while really coming into their own on Halloween night as especially true with Victors house were it seems that he has a small movie production happening just from looking at the sheer amount of people involved. What is really touching though is how far they are willing to go to help them realise their vision, something no truer than with Victor’s wife who despite the long hours which Victor puts into what is essentially his hobby, she still stands by him and his vision even if you do get the feeling that she isn’t as into the whole event as much as he is, though it is certainly a love shared by his 10 year old daughter who can be seem mutilating her Barbies for inclusion in her father’s haunted house, while even relishing the celebrity status she has in her school for being Victor’s daughter.

While this documentary is a lot of fun it does however run alittle too long leaving you no doubt feeling that it would have been perfect it had been cut down to an hour, especially with the focus being soley on the three families and no voice over the end result can seem alittle tedious in places, especially when some of the footage is not overly remarkable or insightful. No doubt this extra length could have best been used for perhaps interviews with speakers at the seminar or perhaps one big name name from the special effects industry given their own opinion on the home haunter trend.
True this is far from a perfect documentary especially with its length and footage selection, it is still at times a touching documentary about a group of people who not only love Halloween, but genuinely get a real kick out what they do.

Title: Jedi Junkies
Director: Mark Edlitz
Released: 2010
Starring: Eduardo Sanchez, Ray Park, Peter Mayhew, Olivia Munn, John Bardy

Plot: A documentary exploring the lasting appeal of "Star Wars" and the various ways the fanbase choose to celebrate this love, from collectors and cosplayers through to fan film directors the documentary meets them all.

Review: Star Wars fans have always been something of a curiosity, even to a lifelong member like myself. As possibly one of the first groups, to actively voice their love for a series which essentially for the longest time told only the second half of a story. Before Trekies (and certainly well before Trekker’s ), ringers the Star Wars fans were voicing their love for their franchise while finding new and ever inventive ways to promote this love. Despite this these fans have never had a real fanbase name (as far as I know) though each documentary which comes along to explore the passion of these fans has tried to brand them unsuccessfully with one name or another, as previously seen with “Star Woids” and now with this latest documentary…sorry if you though this was going to be the Star Wars version of Trainspotting.

Unlike the aforementioned “Star Woids” this film seemingly has no real interest in finding out what the lasting appeal of Star Wars is but rather sets out to look at the some of the various groups of fans and collectors who share an undying love for the saga, which seemingly even two questionable prequels and Jar Jar Binks have still not killed off. Unsurprisingly though by just reviewing the current landscape of the fan community there is little to be seen which hasn’t essentially wasn’t known by anyone whose happened to go to a sci-fi convention recently. So hence we get to look through the collections of obsessional collectors, whose obsession is so great that they can’t stop at having one boxed X-Wing and aren’t happy unless they can boast a whole squadron. Interestingly amongst these obsessional collectors is Eduardo Sanchez who directed “The Blair Witch Project” so if anyone who’s been wondering what he’s been doing since then, it would seem the answer is amassing an impressive Star Wars collection, which he is more than happy to show off like all the collectors featured here, which also serves to remind us that.

Elsewhere a whole different kind of fan dedication is seen with the guys who constructed a life sized Millennium Falcon in their backyard which was used in the fan film “Stuck On Star Wars” filling me with a slight twinge of jealously especially as I couldn’t figure out a way to convince my wife to put such a thing in my own yard, while it is equally heart breaking that it is later revealed to have been destroyed in a storm. Needless to say lightsabers play a big part in this documentary from the New York based performance group who put on lightsaber displays, through to the a closer look at the construction of these lightsabers which equally serves to show the level of detail which the fans are willing to bring to their own creations. Equally at the same time its hard to tell if such focus and naming of this particular brand of custom saber isn't just some advert sneaked in under the geise of cosplay.

Now I know that the one question you’re all dying to know and that’s if “Leia’s Metal Bikini” are featured and I can happily report that they are, while the iconic costume itself receives a fair amount of attention, as the documentary not only look at the members of the group, but also those who use it for the basis for other Star Wars activities including Leia Burlesque and even Leia belly dancing, while Olivia Munn from “Attack of the Show” highlights the downside to wearing this fan favourite at conventions. Sadly these ladies are the only real insight we get on the female fan community, as the only other female contributions given to this documentary are with the snippets of general fan love that provide the filler between segments, outside of this it is from with any other female insight coming from the wives of the collectors or are psychologists attempting to explain the obsessions of the collectors. As such it only further highlights the frequent feeling in the fan community that women are largely invisible unless providing some form of fan service via a revealing costume, something only further reinforced by having one of the Leia girls on the cover, no doubt to catch the attention of those skimming through their Netflix list.

Unsurprisingly while the documentary does not feature interviews with member of the Star Wars cast it isn’t with any of the big three (Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher) or even George Lucas, but instead with Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca) and the always enthusiastic Ray Park (Darth Maul) who even joins in on the discussion as to who would win in a fight between Darth Maul and Darth Vader. Unsurprisingly Park feels that Maul would somehow have the upper hand, but it’s nice to see him still enthusiastic about the role, especially when so many of the cast are just about sick of talking about it. One of the main downsides for me here is the overwhelming focus on Fan films the documentary has, more so the fact that it chooses to focus on several rather uninteresting additions to this genre, in particular “Tremors of the Force” which gets given way too much attention, while its director John Bardy seemingly believes it to be a lot bigger than it is. Needless to say if you were going to look at fan films there are countless better examples out there such as “George Lucas In Love” , the valley girl antics of “Pink 5” or just the rapid fire humour of “Cheap Seats” to name but a few better examples of the fan film.

Unquestionably this is a films which will only appear to the established fans, as the noticeable absence of voice over, while the general structure of the film feels very thrown together with no real order or flow to how the footage has been pieced together, especially when the film looks at collectors only to then later in the film to return to the same collectors again with no real difference of insight than was given the last time we see them. In the end I was left with a slightly hollow feeling, seeing how the documentary fails to shed any really light on the fan community or at the same time show us anything new. With this in mind I would recommend hunting down “Star Woids” or a much more rounded insight into the cult of Star Wars, even if it lacks the psychological insight that this film attempts to bring, only to end up being at best a one watch documentary and one which barely provides anything to deserve a second watch.

Title: Blackfish
Director: Gabriela Cowperthwaite
Released: 2013

Plot: A two thread documentary, the film investigates the orca Tikilum who has been responsible for three death aswell as the treatment of the species being kept in captivity with particular focus being placed on those kept by “SeaWorld”.

Review: It has been said that a great documentary moves their viewer as it informs, while a truly great documentary changes how we think and view the world around us and it’s the latter category I truly believe that this documentary belongs to.

Largely comprised of interviews with ex-trainers, the history of Tikilum and his history in captivity is a compelling one starting with his capture in 1983 in incident which lead to the death of three adult whales, which as one of the divers reveals was also covered up by submerging the bodies. From here the film follows him as he was first moved to the now defunct “SeaLand” which would be the site of his first attack on a trainer, before being finally bought by his current home “SeaWorld”. Along the way the film documents the cruelty such as inadiquent sized pools and underfeeding, aswell as the fact that he has frequently suffered aswell as attacks from other Orcas.

One Part nature documentary and the other animal activism piece, the film explores the nature and behaviour of Orca, while drawing comparisons to how captivity can changes their behaviour especially when kept in tanks and sheds too small to house creatures of their size, while also increasing aggression between orca’s as seen in the damage inflicted on Tikilum by two females he was put with as the film showcases footage and photographs of teeth raking and scaring inflicted on him from these confrontations.

While this the documentary might be unbalanced in the sense that all those interviewed are against the keeping of Orca’s in captivity, it is a strong case which is certainly put forward and in a sense only made the stronger by no representatives from “SeaWorld” being willing to contribute their side to the film, leaving their imput coming solely from the testimonals from the court cases featured here aswell as their history of attempting to cover up the attacks and place the blame on the trainers rather than admit to the risk which Tikilum poses to the trainers working with him.

It is interesting in this respect that the majority of the interviews are with ex-trainers, however these are not disgruntled staff but people who truly loved their job and the animals they worked with. They are however more than happy to shed light on the poor practices and conditions used for keeping Orca’s in captivity. It is equally worth noting that none of the trainers carry any kind of training or any form of qualifications to work as animal trainers but rather hired for their swimming ability and general enthusiasm which was something which came as a surprise to me, especially after years of thinking that the trainers must have some background in marine biology to work at the park. A myth which is only further highlighted during the section which exposes the various false pieces of information that guest are frequently told, such as the lifespan of orca being around 30 years when they can live to 100 in the wild while the dorsal fin collapsing so that it flops over is something which is something which only happens in captivity, again something which the park are keen to write off as being normal.

It is a shame that “SeaWorld” refused to be involved in the documentary if only to provide some form of balance, to proceedings rather than “SeaWorld” being portrayed as little more than corporation intrested in little more than making money with little concern for the welfare and treatment of both Orca’s and trainers. Needless to say following the release of the documentary they soon released the following statement to CNN

"Blackfish is billed as a documentary, but instead of a fair and balanced treatment of a complex subject, the film is inaccurate and misleading and, regrettably, exploits a tragedy that remains a source of deep pain for Dawn Brancheau's family, friends and colleagues. To promote its bias that killer whales should not be maintained in a zoological setting, the film paints a distorted picture that withholds from viewers key facts about SeaWorld -- among them, that SeaWorld is one of the world's most respected zoological institutions, that SeaWorld rescues, rehabilitates and returns to the wild hundreds of wild animals every year, and that SeaWorld commits millions of dollars annually to conservation and scientific research. Perhaps most important, the film fails to mention SeaWorld's commitment to the safety of its team members and guests and to the care and welfare of its animals, as demonstrated by the company's continual refinement and improvement to its killer whale facilities, equipment and procedures both before and after the death of Dawn Brancheau."

True this film can be written of being the documentary version of an animal rights pamphlet, especially as it lacks any kind of subtly with the facts much like both “The Cove” and “Sharkwater” which came before it, but at the same time these films are about inspiring change and reform and to this extent “Blackfish” more than succeeds in its aim. Needless to say after viewing this film I would find the prospect of watching an Orca show all the harder to stomach, while equally make me wonder if we are soon to see an end of animal acts in the same way that Circus’s no longer feature animal acts, I guess only time will tell but this documentary certainly provides much food for thought.

Title: Machete Kills
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Released: 2013

Staring: Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Demian Bichir, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Sofia Vergara, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr.

Plot: Following on from the events of the original film, Machete is put on the path of revenge when his girlfriend Sartana (Jessica Alba) is killed by a mysterious masked man while attempting to capture weapons dealers supplying the Mexican drug cartels. Now recruited by President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen, here appearing as Carlos Estevez) with the promise of citizenship, Machete is sent to eliminate Marcos Mendez (Demian Bichir) who is currently threatening to fire a nuclear missile at the White House. Soon however Machete discovers that the mysterious masked man might also be linked to the plot aswell.

Review: For a film which started out as a joke trailer in the financial misfire (yet critically acclaimed) “Grindhouse”, Machete has turned into quite the trilogy while at the same time certainly doing no harm for Danny Trejo’s stock. Launching him from token bad guy to recognisable leading man as in the wake of the original “Machete” it seemed that everyone couldn’t get enough of the former bare knuckle boxing champion of San Quentin and young offender councillor. Needless to say it was only a matter of time before director Robert Rodriguez gave the world a follow up to his cult favourite.

While the original film might have been the tale of a badass seeking revenge after he is double crossed by his employers, this film decides to spin the franchise off in a new direction as Machete here takes on more of a “XXX” style spy role as he dashes for the border with Marcos, who has hardwired the nuke to his heart and eventually sets out to foil the Bond villain esq schemes of the “Star Wars” obsessed weapons manufacturer Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). It’s a certainly an intresting change of pace and one which actually benefited the film, especially when the original always felt that it was being hampered by being built around its fake trailer and as such was just finding a way to link each of the trailers set pieces together.

This time taking sole ownership of the director’s chair having previously co-directed the original with his long term editor Ethan Maniquis, this time it is truly Rodriguez’s film and one which certainly finds him a playful mood once again, as he aims to maintain the Neo-Grindhouse aesthetic from the fake opening trailer for “Machete Kills Again… In Space” and classic feature presentation title card, through to even throwing in an old school 3D sequence (yes the old blue and green glasses style) to rival his breaking film scene in “Planet Terror”. Equally at the same time this also see’s him throwing plausibility out of the window as the franchise doesn’t so much jump the shark but the whole freaking aquarium! Needless to say this is a film which like its closest comparison “XXX” works best when you’re not questioning what you’re watching and just enjoy the ride. After all there are countless movies and franchises currently obsessed with realism so what’s wrong with alittle raw escapism which is what you get here.

Having established the Mexican James Bond vibe early on Rodriguez really works it in every conceivable way, with Machete getting to utilise a number of customised machete’s including a tri-bladed model which his beauty queen liason (Amber Heard) refers to as the swiss army knife of machete’s while still managing to keep the character every bit as gritty as he was in the first film, with Trejo with his trademark tattoos and tanned leather features fully embodies this character even more so the second time around, as he makes even Machete’s habit of referring to himself in the third person sound cool. This Bond theme also continues to the main villain here as Voz is every bit the bond villain with his scheme sounding very familiar to that of Drax’s in “Moonraker”, but despite this similarity here we get to see Mel Gibson on truly bonkers form, as he embodies the role even when engaging in a machete / sword fight while wearing a cape! Thankfully Rodriguez is one of the few people in Hollywood able to separate Gibson’s troubled personal life from the actor as he is truly one of the big draws here and perhaps only rivalled by the multiple personality antic’s of Birchir’s Mexican revolutionary Mendez whose hyper personality makes him another fun character while never pushing it so far that it becomes irritating.

Much like the first film Rodriguez has assembled a great ensemble cast to flesh out this colourful world he continues to craft here and one which see’s “Modern Family” favourite Sofia Vergara cranks up her crazy to psychotic as brothel owner Madame Desdemona who not only has her own army of prostitute assassins (a nod to Blaxploitation favourite “Dolemite” ) aswell as a twin minigun bra she refers to as her “Double D’s”. Equally game is Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga as the various faces of shape shifting assassin El Camaleón a role which not only sees Gooding Jr. giving his best performance in years, but also proving that Lady Gaga is more of an accomplished actor than first suspected, especially when I was left wanting to see more of her in this film and something which could be corrected in “Machete Kills Again…In Space” if the fake trailer is to be believed. True there are so which might argue that she has already had enough practice with the antics of her usual disco punk persona, but here she is in perfect form as she sneers her way through the film.

Upping the ante in every way possible from the first film, Rodriguez fully up the splatter as heads roll and helicopter blades especially are put to creative use on more than one occasion. The action scenes aswell are fully stepped up a number of fantastic set pieces including a “Mad Max” inspired car chase complete with George Miller style speeded up shots. Rodriguez though once again shows himself as a director with an eye for action, even if he might not be known as an action director, here he once more shows that he knows his way around a set piece and with his cousin Trejo he really does have the perfect grizzled action hero.

After the patchy “Machete” this film really steps up the fun of the first film, while correcting many of the mistakes made first time around, even if like the original it still suffers with a bloated third act. So with Sci-fi set to be the theme for the third and final part I can only imagine how Rodriguez plans on topping the madness of this film, but if anything this film has certainly laid down a strong foundation, so leave your expectations at the door, just buy the ticket and enjoy the ride.

Title: Boardinghouse
Director: John Wintergate
Released: 1982
Starring: John Wintergate, Kalassu, Lindsay Freeman, Joel Riordan, Brian Bruderlin, Selma Kora, Tracy O’Brian, Mary McKinley, Rosane Woods, Cindy Williamson, Christopher Conlan, Elizabeth Hall, Tom Mones, Dean Disico, Elliot Van Koghbe

Plot: The Hoffman house was originally the scene of several mysterious deaths and now ten years later the house is reopened as a boarding house by Jim (Wintergate) who has recently inherited the house. Now filled with attractive young women, the killings suddenly start again.

Review: What is it that makes a movie a cult favourite? Is it a question of humour, characters or perhaps it’s the endurance race of awfulness it puts the viewer through which might especially be the case with this film, which for one reason or another have over years become quite a cult favourite. The reasons why I still can’t really explain even as I sit here wondering how I can even begin to try and describe the randomness of this film, which was given to me to review by my friend and fellow obscure movie fiend Jenn over at “Cavalcade of Perversions” who I gave free reign to name any movie for me to review for her birthday.

First it is worth nothing that this is one of those rare films which was intentionally shot on video, something legend goes was the result of producer Elliot Van Koghbe reading an article in “American Cinematographer” about George Lucas experimenting with producing films shot on video as opposed to film. Of course this was all the inspiration that he needed to team up with Director Wintergate to produce this low-budget horror film with plans to transfer it onto film, because of course that wouldn’t make it look any worse than it already does, but alas they still went ahead and did it anyway. Needless to say if that bit of history wasn’t enough of a warning, then trust me the finished film is way worse than you could imagine, especially when the film has no logical storyline and generally seem like an excuse just to shoot frequent scene of gratuitous nudity which go a way to explaining its popularity.

So while the plotline might seem straightforward and just general slasher fodder, this film manages to do a remarkable job of making things way more confusing than they ever should be, not doubt thanks to the film makers being so preoccupied with cramming as much nudity into every shot of this film, meaning that it largely plays out like an 80’s version of “Girls gone wild” video. Of course a film can’t survive on just T&A alone (no seriously it can’t) so to break things up or when they seemingly couldn’t think to do next we also get to enjoy the oh so very cheap special effect shots, many of which make no sense what so ever such as the girl whose face randomly turns into a bargain basement Halloween mask for no explainable reason.

Not content though it would seem with horrible looking practical effects, Wintergate also throws even more horrible looking computer effects, such as the pixaly swirling mass which randomly appears or the titles which appear in lines in much the same way that pictures used to back when we all had dial up internet. These effects were all shot by producer Van Koghbe who it seems was equally ashamed of these shots that he is listed as Obee Ray or perhaps this was just a way of disguising the lack of crew clearly working on the film.

Elsewhere we not only have Wintergate playing the Vietnam veteran who randomly appears to do nothing but provide red herring (something given away way to early). We also get the random psychic abilities of Jim which not only generally involve him sitting around in his underwear bug eyed but also never seem to be overly useful at any point other than doing cheap parlour tricks like making the soap in his bath float aswell giving an excuse for a confusing psychic battle at the end, which fails to really make like the rest of the film a whole hold of sense, but alas this is the slow death that Wintergate chooses for the film.

The real piece de la resistance here though is the William Castle inspired warning gimmick were either a black glove appears on the screen, or a piece of cheap synthesiser music is played so that if you have a weak heart or “easily frightened by shocking gore”. Sadly this gimmick is used haphazardly for the first half of the film before being forgotten completely and ultimately comes off as a weaker gimmick than the “Fright Break” featured in “Bloodmoon” were audiences could leave and get a refund if they felt that they couldn’t watch the end of the film, but most of the audience used this chance to claim back their money only because of how bad the film was rather than anything to do with it being scary. Needless to say this gimmick like so much of the film being handled so sloppily ensures that it is just another thing which is memorable about the film for precisely the opposite reason Wintergate intended.

The makers of the film like to claim that this was the first shot on video horror, which of course anyone who seen the wonderful documentary “Rewind This” will know was in fact the equally little seen “Sledgehammer” a horror I’m quite content to put off like “Black Devil Doll” for the time being, especially as I’m still left confounded by this film and this was just the original cut of the film and not the stonking two hour plus directors cut released by Slasher // Video something else I can’t say I’m exactly in a rush to watch. Perhaps seeing how nonsensical this cut comes off perhaps the gaps are filled in the longer cut and what this version essentially could be is just the pervert cut. Even now I’m still unsure if Wintergate even was trying to make a decent film, or if his ego was so out of hand that he deluded himself into the idea that he had actually made something half decent, after all who could write scenes for themselves like the one were several of the girls are sitting with Jim in a hot tub and telling him how sexy he is while rubbing his chest. At the same time I have to wonder if I watched this film in the right setting, seeing how it was by myself when the majority of positive reviews of the film come from group viewings, which I can see making this film a lot more enjoyable and possibly the only way I might venture a second viewing for as cinematic endurance tests go this one is a doozey.

Title: Christmas Evil

Director: Lewis Jackson
Released: 1980
Starring: Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn, Dianne Hull, Andy Fenwick, Brian Neville

Plot: Harry (Maggart) a production line worker at the Jolly Dreams toy factory harbours an unhealthy obsession with Santa, especially as he takes it upon himself to become the next true Santa. However when Harry is driven over the edge by the lack of festive spirit of those around him, he suddenly snaps and embarks on a murderous rampage.

Sadly I couldn't find a spoiler free trailer so here's a creepy Harry clip instead

Review: So the season of Alt-Christmas viewing is once again here and I thought I’d make up for not getting around to this film last year by reviewing it first, especially when it came so highly recommended by my blogging buddy Emily (Deadly Dollhouse of Horror Nonsense) aswell as the high priest of bad taste John Waters who proclaimed it the “greatest Christmas movie ever made” on the commentary he recorded for the special edition dvd, while reminding me just how underrated he is when it comes to great movie ideas even if he does tend to lean more towards art house movies. Now having finally gotten around to watching this film I can safely say it’s underrated legacy is full justified especially and only when it is so frequently overlooked for “Silent Night, Deady Night” which also memorably featured a serial killer Santa, even though this film predated that film by four years.

Also known under the more colourful titles as “You’d Better Watch Out” and “Terror in Toyland” it may seem similar on the surface to “Silent Night, Deadly Night” but this film is a much different beast, which is essentially all down to the character of Harry who when we first meet him is far from the ticking time bomb which Billy from “Silent Night, Deadly Night” was especially as all Harry wants is to be Santa. It's an obsession he plays out in his day to day life as he wakes in his Santa pyjama’s before setting off to spy on the local boys and girls whose names he writes down in his naughty or nice book. As I said he really likes to play out his Santa fantasy any way he can, with his job in a toy factory only seeming like a logical choice. True Harry’s childhood drama might not be a severe as Billy’s seeing how it essentially stems from Harry finding out that Santa wasn’t as real as he thought he was, after catching his dad dressed as Santa one Christmas Eve while getting rather hansey with his mother.

Harry while a self-imposed loner is still a likable enough kind of guy, even though the world around him constantly seems to be working to try and break his festive spirit, from the crappy toys the factory makes, to the pervert little kid who wants a subscription to Penthouse for Christmas, so it really is only a matter of time before he snaps. However unlike Billy Harry doesn’t set off on a bloody festive rampage, but instead suddenly sets off to be the real Santa, as he dons his Santa suit and sets off in his white van (the reindeer might have been alittle too much of a push) to spread some Christmas cheer as he steals toys from the factory to give out to sick kids at the nearby hospital…ohh and he also punishes those still not showing the right amount of festive cheer. Needless to say Harry is not a cold blooded killer, but more of a guy trying who has been in his Santa mindset for too long, if the mindset of a particularly crazed Santa, which frequently account for some of his more random moments.

More light hearted than “Silent Night, Deadly Night” this film also comes with a lower body count aswell, yet more than makes up for it with original moments as Harry uses sharpened toy axes and even a toy soldiers bayonet to punish those who wrong him. The really special moment though here is when he attempts to further his Santa fantasy even further by trying to go down a chimney only to get stuck in the process this is of course before the truly bonkers finale involving a torch welding angry mob and an ending which has to truly be seen to be believed so I will leave that for you to discover for yourself.

What is especially interesting about this film though is the relationship that Harry has with his younger brother Phil (DeMunn), who seemingly is the only family that Harry has left even though unlike Phil who makes repeated efforts to bring Harry out of his self-imposed exile by inviting him to spend Christmas with his family only for Harry to refuse any of these offers in favour of working on his Santa inspired plans. These moments of course only seem the more potent by the end of the film when he sees what Harry has become and tries to stop Harry himself rather than leaving him to be caught by the angry mob pursuing him or turning him into the police, like a more logical person would.

Maggart the father of singer Fiona Apple, something I only found out over the course of writing this review (what a fair weather fan I am) is great as Harry and really makes the role more believable than you would expect from this kind of film, especially when he spends most of the film hiding behind a fake beard he is still able to perfectly translate through his eyes exactly what Harry is feeling, from the twinkle of excitement he gets from playing Santa in a more traditional role such as the scenes of him handing out gifts, to the cold dead eyes of his darker side it really is a memorable performance he gives here and one which never feels campy or OTT, even during some of the more surreal moments and kind of makes the fact that the film is so over looked only more of a shame.

While it never might have caused the same kind of controversy as "Silent Night, Deadly Night" this in no way makes this any less of an essential alt. Christmas watch, especially when this is such a unique take on the idea of a serial killer Santa and one only elevated by Maggart's performance.

Title: Silent Night, Deadly Night

Director: Charles E. Sellier, Jr.

Released: 1984

Starring: Robert Brian Wilson, Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Toni Nero, Linnea Quigley

Plot: As a young boy Billy was left traumatised when he saw his parents being killed by a man dressed as Santa Claus. Now years later he works in a toy store were he after he forced to dress as Santa Claus which causes him to suffer a psychotic break which soon sees him on a murderous rampage.

Review: While “Christmas Evil” might have been the first horror film to feature a killer Santa on the rampage, it would as I covered in my review for that film, soon be overshadowed by the controversy surrounding the release of this film, which many still mistakenly credit with creating the idea of a killer Santa. Unsurprisingly though parents didn’t exactly warm to the idea of the Christmas icon being warped in this way and descended upon cinemas in angry mobs to protest the film while critics branded the films as being pure shock tactics as shown in the documentary “Going To Pieces: The Rise and Fall of The Slasher Film”. Pulled from theatres by the original distributor TriStar Pictures, the film would two years later be re-released by independent distributor Aquarius films with a market campaign which unsurprisingly played off the earlier controversy while paving the way to the film becoming a cult classic.

It is kind of sad that the film is more remembered for the controversy it caused than the content of the film itself, which no doubt few (if any) of the films protestors bother to actually watch the film they were protesting. If they had, perhaps they would have discovered a film with surprisingly more depth than many would have expected from a slasher movie like this. For here great effort is given to establishing the cause of Billy’s psychosis, for he is far from the usual nutter of the week, for as a child we see him dealt the double whammy of watching his parents being killed by a killer dressed as Santa Claus aswell as the insane ramblings of his Grandfather, who his parents felt Christmas Eve was the perfect time to go visit him, because after all nothing spells out festive fun like a trip to an asylum. Sent to an orphanage Billy is further bombarded with a heavy dose of Catholic dose at the hands of the Sister Superior who firmly believes that Billy can be put on the right path through the use of regular punishment. Needless to say all this mental trauma leaves Billy as very much a ticking timebomb and a mind set which we see coming together with the slow burn first half as Director Sellier ensures that he highlights each piece which add to Billy’s eventual breakdown and devoting the first forty minutes of the film to outlining these reasons.

This understandably can be frustrating to those expecting another throwaway slasher which was very much the case the first time I saw this film. Due to the build up to Billy’s snap, you can feel the tension being slowly cranked up especially during the scene were he is forced to play Santa, dealing with spoilt and figiting kids as he begs them under his breath to behave almost as if he can feel himself tittering on the edge. Needless to say when Billy does finally snap, he really wastes little time in making up for it and if variety is the spice of life, then Billy comes with a whole spice rack of creativity when it comes to his kills as he set out to punish those he views as naughty. A personal mission which sees him not only putting a fire axe to good use, but also getting creative with a box cutter, bow and arrow and even a set of deer antlers while racking up a healthy body count. However these victims frequently have no real connection to Billy and more often than not just happened to be in the bloody path he is carving on his way back to the orphanage.

While it might seem from the setting that the film is about a serial killer Santa, the whole costume is really more of a coincidence seeing how it happens to be what Billy is wearing when he snaps and unlike Harry in “Christmas Evil” is less fuelled by a Santa delusion, especially when he is judging people as “Naughty” it seems to be based more on Catholic dogma than anything to do with Santa’s naughty or nice list. However these judgements do lead to a creepy moment were Billy encounters the younger sister of one of his victims, who after being informed of how good she has been, hands her a bloody box cutter which is something I would have preferred to have been one of the candy canes we see him handing out to kids earlier in the film. As such the scene comes off slightly confused, much like the scene were Billy freezes while looking at a Christmas poster while the smaltzy “Warm Side of The Door” by Morgan Ames plays in the background.

Wilson though is really great as Billy, especially during the scenes requiring him to showcase his fragile psyche, even with his size and toned psyche he is still able to sell these moments, while at the same he never oversteps the mark when it comes to Billy’s psychotic side which never falls into a farcical performance even if it does largely consist of him growling naughty and holding a stone cold glare.

One of the real strengths of the film though is the soundtrack provided by Perry Botkin, Jr. whose soundtrack Sellier uses mainly to highlight the current state of Billy’s psyche with the music becoming more erratic the closer to the edge he gets. Outside of these moments he also provides some truly haunting themes for the rest of the film including the title sequence which is filled with dread and it only makes it more suprising considering that he was also responsible for also producing the soundtracks for both “Happy Days” and “Mork and Mindy” whose sunny setting are the truly at the opposite end of the spectrum to this film.

Creepy though is one thing this film has in spades from the crazy grandpa ramblings and the chilling psycho Santa attack on Billy’s parents, even the Christmas decorations frequently have a creepy edge to them, which really makes me wonder where these films find such creepy decorations or perhaps the 80’s Christmas’s were just a lot more creepier than today’s which is no doubt the case looking at some of the horrible jumpers of Christmas past which seem to haunt my childhood Christmas photos.

Needless to say this film is worthy of its cult status and while certainly heavier than “Christmas Evil” it still brings plenty of originality to the table, while audience seemed to prefer their Serial Killer Santa’s more icy cold than confused judging by how this film spawned a further four films, while “Christmas Evil” remained a solo curiosity.

Title: Santa’s Slay

Director: David Steiman

Released: 2005

Starring: Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie de Ravin, Robert Culp, Dave Thomas, Saul Rubinek, Rebecca Gayheart, Chris Kattan, James Caan, Fran Drescher

Plot: Santa Claus (Goldberg) it would seem is not quite the jolly fat guy we all thought he was. Turns out he is in fact a demon who 1,000 years ago lost a bet to an angel which meant that he was forced to become a bringer of toys and happiness. Now the 1,000 years are up and Santa has now returned to his former ways which is especially bad news for the residents of Hells Township as Santa Claus is coming to town!

Review: Wrestlers as a rule rarely make good actors, somthing the failed attempts to break into the field by Hulk Hogan highlighted, especially when these movies ultimately ended up being as laughable as his wrestling career and like that one better remember through the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia. Hogan of course is not the only example as “WWE Films” have seemingly only just learned this same harsh lesson seeing how their latest output see’s the wrestlers now being given more supporting roles than anything resembling the leading roles the studio originally had planned with this off shoot. However this is not to say that there have not been those who have broke the mould as John Cena proved to be quite a watchable action star in both “The Marine” aswell as “12 Rounds” while Kane also proved himself a menacing force in “See No Evil” even if he was essentially just transplanting his wrestling persona into a horror set.

Of course with this history of wrester actors in mind you could excuse me for being alittle sceptical about the idea of Goldberg playing a demonic Santa, afterall his stabs at acting previous to this had been limited to playing a super soldier in “Universal Soldier 2” and essentially playing himself in the underrated “Ready To Rumble” but here he really nails it right from his opening dinner party massacre which not only puts the opening of “Punisher: War Zone” to shame but I would love to think that Christopher Nolan found the inspiration for the Joker’s disappearing pencil trick from this opening, were Santa makes a whole turkey leg disappear. True Goldberg might have an advantage with his dominating size certainly helping make the character truly seem imposing, but here he also proves himself more than capable with the scenes requiring him to flex his acting muscles and even pulls off the more subtle comedy moments such as hastily spraying down a stripper pole before he uses it as a makeshift club.

Elsewhere the film has two great young leads with Douglas Smith and Emilie de Ravin who may not have to do anything particularly heavy acting wise, but are still a fun duo to be around especially as the film doesn’t allow itself to fall into the usual pitfalls of having Smith lust after Ravin for the runtime of the film. Instead the focus is kept purely on stopping Santa and only give into their lusts once he has been stopped, which honestly felt awhole lot more natural than it would have been had the film followed the usual template especially considering how majorly out of his league Ravin is yet alone a feisty firecracker who is more than capable of spearheading their misadventure. Still it does make me wonder why they never really went on to do more, much like why Thora Birch didn’t come off “Ghost World” as big a star as Scarlett Johanson did. I guess its this sort of situation which has resulted in me being so frequently forced to endure yet another Emma Watson performance.

Considerably lighter in tone than the other killer Santa movies which came before it, this film plays things strictly for laughs, as established from the opening dinner party massacre whose creative kills see one guest being flambéed and drowned in eggnog and another being killed by a Christmas star while the fact that the film also carries a healthy body count to boot only adds to the fun here, which alongside the quick pacing of the film, ensures that the film never gets a chance to get itself bogged down in minor subplots or disposable characters unless those characters are soon to be meeting a creative death or in one case eaten by demonic reindeer.

Meanwhile the film is shot in a deliberately over the top style this is a confident debut from Steiman, who after despite spending most of his carrer working as a production assistant to Bret Ratner who also appears as a producer here. Sadly despite the fun energy this film brings it remains the sole film from Steiman who seems to have since dropped off the radar since the release of this film. As such this remains much like this film a curiosity especially when they is such a fun film and an essential part of my own alternative Christmas viewing since I first saw it last year. Still if your able to not just the fact that the film features a wrestler in the lead villain role there is plenty to enjoy here, as this is one Santa with muscles who is worth watching even if it does leave you wondering by the end credits why it not as popular as other Alt. Christmas favourites.

Okay so for those of you who follow either my Facebook page or Twitter feed, you will know already that this month I have been counting down the run up to Christmas with some of my favourite Alt. Christmas moments. Be they musical tracks, films or even just creepy Santa photos I wanted a fun way to share my love for all things Alt. Christmas.

So now for those of you who missed any of those posts I now present the full 25 day rundown....enjoy.

Alt. Christmas - Day 1: Won't Be Home For Christmas - Blink 182

So kicking things off this great pop punk track aswell as the first of two tracks to be featured in this countdown. While this one is often more overlooked, it still contains plenty of Blink 182's trademark humour and who doesn't associate with the desire to chase carol singers with a baseball bat.

Alt Christmas - Day 2: Rare Exports Inc.

The original short film which lead to the full length film and which also answers the question as to where Santa Claus comes from.

Alt Christmas - Day 3: A Muppet Family Christmas - Pass It on

Thanks to Claire for recommending this often forgotten classic, in perticular this song, which I still can't decide if it's adorable or irritating?

Alt Christmas - Day 4: The Night The Reindeer Died

Taken from "Scrooged". Surely this is the one Christmas movie we all want to see made

Alt. Christmas - Day 5: RUN-DMC - Christmas In Hollis

Another overlooked Christmas classic, as nothing puts you in the festive spirit like old school hip-hop!

Alt. Christmas - Day 6: Die Hard / Die Hard 2: Die Harder

Arguably the greatest Christmas double bill ever, while sadly John McClaine had terrorist free Christmas's after this. Still on the plus side we are currently only two movies away from Die Hard week!!

Die Hard Review:http://fromthedepthsofdvdhell.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/die-hard.html

Die Hard 2: Die Harder Review: http://fromthedepthsofdvdhell.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/die-hard-2-die-harder.html

Alt. Christmas - Day 7: Christmas Evil

The definitive serial killer Santa movie even if it is unfairly overlooked in favour of "Silent Night, Deadly Night" which it predated by four years! Thanks to Emily of "The Deadly Dolls House of Horror Nonsense" for recommending it.

Review:http://fromthedepthsofdvdhell.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/christmas-evil.html

Alt Christmas - Day 8: Creepy Mall Santa's Can you find a Santa Creepier than this?

Post your own creepy Santa in the comments section and lets see who can find the creepiest one

Alt. Christmas - Day 9: Rare Exports: The Official Safety Instructions

The follow up to the original short which in turn lead to the wonderfully unique film which will also be shown on Film4 this month. So why not enjoy the safety video in the meantime.

Alt. Christmas - Day 10: Making Christmas

One of the more underrated songs from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" yet in so many ways captures the fun spirit of the film, especially in seeing how the residents of Halloween Town interpret what Christmas is.

Alt. Christmas - Day 11: Bikini Bloodbath Christmas

A film which within the first fifteen minutes gives you enough nudity, foul language and toilet humour to put most teen comedies to shame...possibly one of the more random alt. Christmas movie ever

Review:http://fromthedepthsofdvdhell.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/bikini-bloodbath-christmas.html

After this review was originally posted it got picked up by the director Thomas Edward Seymour, who posted on his blog

"This is a really entertaining new review for my flick Bikini Bloodbath Christmas from – Depths of DVD Hell. It’s not glowing or even kind in spots but it is awesome!"

You've got to love a director who can take critism without throwing a diva strop. Thomas Edward Seymour, I salute you!

Alt Christmas - Day 12: Carol of the Bells - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Truly epic cover while surely this is what a Viking Christmas must sound like!!

Alt. Christmas Day 13 - Jack Frost

Because if you watch only one serial killer snowman movie this Christmas...if you watch two I guess you could always watch the fantastically titled sequel "Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Killer Mutant Snowman"

Review:http://fromthedepthsofdvdhell.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/jack-frost.html

Alt Christmas Day 14 - Louis Theroux Werid Christmas

What happens when you invite a preacher, a mountain man, a porn star and an intergalactic space psychic for Christmas? Documentary film maker Louis Theroux found out in his Weird weekends special

Alt Christmas Day 15 - What's This?" - The Nightmare Before Christmas

Another of my favourite songs and one were the animation is so perfectly choreographed to the music. There is also so much fun in spotting all the small details, which even now after numerous viewings I'm still finding new things.

Alt Christmas Day 16 - A John Waters Christmas

A sorely overlooked collection of Christmas songs, from bad taste legend John Waters, so here puts together a collection of Christmas songs as unique as the soundtracks of his own films. The perfect remedy to the mass market Christmas albums

Alt Christmas Day 17 - This Trinity's Goin To War

Okay not officially a Christmas song, but who doesn't like an excuse to see evil Robot Santa, Kwanzaa-bot and the Chanukah Zombie (voiced by Mark Hamill).

Alt Christmas Day 18 - Silent Night, Deadly Night

While it might be mistakenly credited with creating the idea ("Christmas Evil" was first) of a serial killer Santa it is certainly still the most controversial while also spawning an four questionable sequels.

Review:http://fromthedepthsofdvdhell.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/silent-night-deadly-night.html

Alt. Christmas Day 19 - "Happy Holidays, You Bastard" - Blink 182

Time for another round of festive cheer from Blink 182

And now the super festive mix feat. Ben Folds

Alt. Christmas Day 20: "The Christmas Card" - Terry Gilliam

Terry Gilliam uses his trademark animation style to unleash some festive mayhem, in the way only he can.

Alt. Christmas Day 21 - Mr. Bean Nativity Scene Chaos

Another of my favourite Xmas special's yet for some reason this scene is always so overlooked. Still only Mr. Bean could get so much out of a simple Nativity scene.

Alt. Christmas Day 22 - Santa's Slay

Former WWE / WCW wrestler Bill Goldberg as a demonic Santa...what more could you possibly ask for? A sorely overlooked, let alone hilarious cult movie in the making and one well worth discovering this Christmas

Review:http://fromthedepthsofdvdhell.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/santas-slay.html

Alt. Christmas Day 23 - Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

Because we all remember that one time when Martians came to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus because there is no one on Mars to give their children presents. A cult b-movie and also the #83 worst movie on IMDB.

Alt. Christmas Day 24 - Gremlins

The movie I saw so many times as a child I even wrote a novelisation of it, after my granddad quipped that I could probably write the script I had seen it that many times.
This of course was the scene as a child I loved to play over and over, especially as it showcases that wonderful theme music!!

Alt. Christmas Day 25 - The Star Wars Holiday Special

One of the few things in this world that even knowing how horrible it is, still does not prepare you for this car crash of a cash in, which even the George Lucas refuses to talk about it. Bizarrely "Glee" would for some reason try to convince the world that this is the special most fondly remembered by Star Wars fans as I've yet to find even the most die hard of fans who like this one.

On the plus side it does feature the first appearance of Boba Fett in a cartoon were Han Solo looks strangely like Mick Jagger and the millennium falcon has fuzzy dice.

The Star Wars Holiday Specialby FilmGeek-TV

So there you have it my 2013 Alt. Christmas countdown in full. I hope you've enjoyed it and thanks to everyone who submitted ideas for what to be featured. So until next time have a great Christmas which if its like my own will be filled with movie watching and food induced comas.

The Sexy Killer AKA The Drug Connection

Drive Angry

Leprechaun

Rewind This!

Stoker

The Strangely Beautiful Character Posters of Nymphomaniac

Hobo With A Shotgun

Curse of Chucky

Konga

Class of Nuke 'Em High

The Four Horror Movies of The Apocalypse

The American Scream

Jedi Junkies

Blackfish

Machete Kills

Boardinghouse

Christmas Evil

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Santa's Slay

Alt. Christmas 2013 - The Full Countdown