Dark Horse

January 10, 2013, 10:26 pm

Title: Dark Horse
Director: Todd Solondz
Released: 2011

Staring: Jordan Gelber, Christopher Walken, Justin Bartha, Mia Farrow, Selma Blair, Donna Murphy

Plot: Set around Abe (Gelber) a thirty-something still lives at home, while working at his father’s (Walken) property development company, wasting away his day doing as little work as possible while constantly scouring the internet for action figures to add to his ever expanding collection, while being pandered to by his loving mother (Farrow) and living in the shadow of his successful doctor brother (Bartha). However when he meets the heavily medicated Miranda (Selma Blair) an unusual relationship starts to blossom between them.

Review: To be a Todd Solondz fan is nothing short of a challenging experience, for he is one of a rare breed of directors who truly seems to be more focused on making films for himself, much like Robert Crumb only seems to make art for his own amusement, rather than any kind of target audience. Despite this Solenz still has managed to attract a cult like following with the warped black humour of his debut “Welcome to the Dollhouse” and its follow up “Happiness”, before challenging even those fans with “Palindromes”. Still despite claiming that his previous film “Life During Wartime” would be his last Solendz is now back with this latest and strangely less warped offering.

Missing any of his usual obsessions, but still maintaining a dusting of his usual dark humour aswell his ongoing focus on the middle class New Jersey Jewish community, it could almost be seen that the enfant terrible of independent cinema might be mellowing with age, while at the same time still creating another curious films even if it’s missing any of his trademark use of knee jerk topics. However this is not to say that he has completely moved away from his dark roots as Abe is still just as challenging to like, especially he wallows in his own self-importance while generally being angry at the world with no real reason, especially when he seems to have someone to do even the most minimal of tasks, as frequently seen by co-worker and closet cougar Marie (Murphy) covering for him.

Gelber thankfully doesn’t overplay Abe as some kind of loveable loser in an attempt to win the audience back, especially as Solendz continually piles on further quirks, when we shown him huffily trying to return a scratched action figure, quickly leaping to threatening to sue the store when refused by the store clerk. With such continuous examples of self-centred behaviour it only makes it more the surprising that Abe could have a relationship with anyone, yet with Miranda he truly seems to believe that they have a future together so strongly that he actually proposes on their first date.

Blair as Miranda is sadly overshadowed by Abe, especially when her heavily medicated presence leaves her in a seemingly permanently comatose state, making you certainly question her real interest in Abe, especially when she never seemingly as a result of her medication ever really show any kind of emotion towards him. However this is far from any kind of traditional romance, once again thanks to Solondz who also chooses this moment to turn the film into a strange hallucinary trip as reality and illusion blur into one, with no clear indication for the most part what is actually real and what is in Abe’s mind, even more so when it comes to Abe’s relationship with Miranda, with the film certainly leaving more than a few questions in its wake. This style of filming again see’s Solondz trying to do something different than we have seen before and while perhaps he might not have the same surreal grip on his storytelling as David Lynch does with his equally mind-bending films, it still remains a watchable if slightly bewildering effort, while adding to the recent burst of films focusing on the live at home man child with mumblecore efforts like “Cyrus” and “Jeff Who Lives At Home”.

While this might be Gelber’s film he still recives strong support from his more establish co-stars in particular Walken who is seen here on a more laid back and softly spoken form, while punctuating his scenes with such long stares that he could no doubt beat owls in a staring contest. Meanwhie Farrow comes out of her semi-retirement to give a non the less impressive turn as Abe’s doting mother who seemingly see’s him for his quirks and still loves him unconditionally, bringing back one of the key pieces of advice my own father gave me when he told me “Your mother is the best friend you will ever have” and for Abe this would be especially true.

For newcomers this might seem like the perfect introduction to Solendz work, but I would advise instead to brave one of his darker works like the aforementioned “Welcome To The Dollhouse” to see his true work, rather than this more experimental piece, which will challenge even the more die hard of his fan base, especially when it barely resembles any of his previous work, even more so when over the course of it’s short run time it seemingly never gets out of the gate story wise which even the most forgiving movie goer will struggle to get on board with, with Solendz’s characterisation no doubt testing what remains of their patience and as such I would recommend that you approach with caution.

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Seven Psychopaths

January 13, 2013, 4:13 pm

≫ Next: A View To A Kill

≪ Previous: Dark Horse

Title: Seven Psychopaths

Director: Martin McDonagh
Released: 2012
Staring: Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Tom Waits, Abbie Cornish, Olga Kurylenko, Linda Bright Clay, Amanda Mason Warren

Plot: Marty (Farrell) a writer struggling to finish his screenplay entitled “Seven Psychopaths”, while receiving inspiration from his friends Billy (Rockwell) and Hans (Walken) make a living kidnapping dogs in order to collect the owner’s cash rewards. However when the duo unwittingly steal the beloved Shih Tzu of gangster Charlie Costello (Harrelson), Marty soon finds himself along with his friends entangled in a confrontation with the LA criminal underworld.

Review: Sneaking in at the end of last year, this film has hardly been on the radar for most movie goers who were no doubt more focused on the release of the first film in “The Hobbit” trilogy. Still this is still not the most suprising reaction to this films release considering the last film we saw from director McDonagh was equally overlooked “In Bruges”, which honestly was not a film I exactly dug, thanks largely to the fact it could never quite decide what sort of film it wanted to be. Still it would seem that McDonagh may have learned something from his debut as he returns here with a film which only improves on what “In Bruges” hinted at before.

A multistring tale which shares more than a few ideas in its construction with Spike Jonze's “Adaptation” due to both films switching between real life and fiction, with the two worlds interlinking, the film frequently switches between the film version of Marty’s screenplay and real life were he makes various attempts to finish he script. which is far from easy considering he hasn’t even come up with one of his proposed psychopaths. Slowly over the course of the film these psychopaths are slowly revealed while the lines between fact and fiction become even more worryingly blurred.

These stories of the psychopaths and thier legacies make up the majority of the film as starting with “The Jack of Diamonds Killer” the real life balaclava clad killer currently running around the city with a passion for killing mid to high level members of the mob and a gentle introduction of those who are to follow as we are soon introduced to the first of Marty’s fictional creations “The Quaker” a highly religious hitman who unsurprisingly dresses as a Quaker, who is soon joined by the also religious themed Vietnamese Priest on a quest for revenge against the American platoon who killed his family in the Vietnam war. The most interesting of these colourful characters though is Tom Wait’s killer of serial killers after Billy randomly places an advert in the newspaper

CALLING ALL PSYCHOPATHS! Are you MENTAL or DERANGED? Maybe you have been recently hospitalised but are now Okay? Or perhaps the world just doesn't understand you?",

Sadly McDonagh misses a trick here as rather than a queue of crazies, we instead get a solitary visit by Wait’s rabbit carrying Zachariah, who gives us yet another member of the titular seven, as he tells the tale of how he rescued a girl named Maggie (Warren) from the basement of a serial killer and how the two of them as a couple went across the country killing some of the most famous serial killers including more humorously a rabbit obsessed “Zodiac”. While Waits appearance here is pretty much a brief one, it is still like all of the psychopaths still none the less memorable, perhaps even more so thanks to his pennant for constantly carrying around his white rabbit.

Clearly realising that a collection of short stories about psychopaths would be a hard sell on its own, McDonagh’s attempt to string them together with the dog snatch plotline does at times lack some of the polish that he gives to the short stories, especially when it lacks any of the smart humour that is given to the rest of the film outside of a running joke about a frequently jamming gun. Still the film is generally at its strongest when it is left to the antics of the three friends trying to piece together the screenplay and it’s here that the choice casting really comes into play with Farrell once again wheeling out his befuddled charm as he lives in a state of constant frenzied panic, especially as his screenplay spins wildly out of control. Meanwhile Rockwell continues to be equally enjoyable as the loud and brash Billy, while our man in focus for this month Walken gives another thoughtful performance which he seems to give more frequently these days and here it works especially well, especially when facing down armed gangsters with nothing but an stone faced glance, as he continues to prove that he has just as much presence on the screen even when he is not giving one of his more dominating performances, which he might be more memorable for.

As the main villain Harrelson is truly believable, even if the role had originally been written for Mickey Rouke, who dropped out thanks to creative diffrences with McDonagh and was replaced by Harrelson which ultimately makes for a stronger choice for the role and even more so when it comes to the frequent mood swings which Charlie is prone to, but then Harrelson has always done great crazy!

While it is also inevitable whenever violence is being made to look cool, that comparisons to Tarantino will be drawn but here McDonagh still manages to give us an original spin to proceedings, thanks largely to how he has chosen to shoot the film, with the frequent cut always to the cinematic interpretation of Marty’s script often proving to be the most fun, especially when Billy gives his idea for an ending, which inturn gives us possibly one of the most random shootout’s ever put on screen, especially with Marty being shown trying to write the script in the midst of it, while Walken’s Hans emerges from a coffin like a vampire. However due to this shooting style it will no doubt confound the less open minded movie goer’s who would no doubt prefer a more straightforward approach to the story and essentially only furthering the films status as a cult movie in the making, while making me seriously reconsider McDonagh’s reputation as a director, this is one certainly worth hunting down.

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A View To A Kill

January 18, 2013, 2:53 pm

≫ Next: Welcome To The Jungle AKA: The Rundown

≪ Previous: Seven Psychopaths

Title: A View To A Kill

Director: John Glen
Released: 1985
Staring: Roger Moore, Christopher Walken, Tanya Roberts, Grace Jones, Patrick Macnee, Patrick Bauchau, David Yip, Desmond Llewelyn, Robert Brown, Lois Maxwell, Willoughby Gray

Plot: Bond (Moore) returns from the USSR with a chip capable of withstanding a EMP, that would destroy a normal chip. Discovering the chip was made by Zorin Industries, Bond is despatched to investigate its owner, Max Zorin (Walken) unware that Zorin has plans to set off an earthquake in San Andreas to wipe out Silicon Valley.

Review: The fourteenth Bond film and seventh aswell as the final time that Roger Moore would play the iconic role and even more sadly the last time that Lois Maxwell would appear as Moneypenny. It would also be for the longest time when I was growing up my favourite of the Bond films and certainly the film were I was first mesmerised by Christopher Walken. However as time passed and the series moved on, this movie did slip from the top position as my favourite but yet it has still remained as one of my top five, despite being frequently regarded as the worst by many Bond fans aswell as by Moore himself who retired from the role after the film believing himself to be too old to play the role.

So why exactly is this film so hated? Honestly I could not say and while Moore might be showing his age at this point in the series, somthing especially highlighted in the previous film “For Your Eyes Only”, he is none the less of a presence here while finally being given a half decent villain to go up against especially with a peroxide blonde Walken as Zorin certainly being one of the more psychotic villains which Bond has been pitted against, as what Walken brings here is a pitch black streak of evil, which makes it hard to imagine either of the original choices for the role David Bowie (who opted to make “Labyrinth” instead) or Sting being able to pull it off, especially when Zorin’s psychotic side sees him having zero qualms about throwing spies into pump valves or even massacring his own minions in a scene which Moore would highlight as one of his main reasons for disliking the film considering it not a real Bond movie stating

“It stopped being what they were all about. You didn't dwell on the blood and the brains spewing all over the place."

Unsurprisingly as a result of Zorn’s violent whims it does make this this one of the most violent Bond films to date, even giving the controversial “Licence To Kill” a run for its money and no doubt only not more picked up due to the fact that the violence is not as explicit here, yet in many ways being a precursor for the violence seen in the Dalton films which followed. Zorin though brought a fresh new type of villain to the Bond series, especially when the villains had been becoming increasingly farcical over the course of the last few films, something especially not helped by the producers leaping on any popular trend as especially seen with the success of “Star Wars” resulting in Bond being sent into space in “Moonraker”. Here though Zorin is much more grounded and relatively gimmick free outside of the fact that he uses a blimp for his base of operations, a relatively tame choice especially considering the space stations, volcano lairs and private islands his predecessors had. Still it does have the amazing ability of disguising itself as a work shed and contains a hidden hatch for dropping Japanese business men out of inflight, while even more randomly a stash of dynamite for no real discernible reason. Such grounded villainy even stretches to his main henchmen or in this case henchwoman May Day (Jones)who has no gimmick outside of her Amazonian stature and strength. Infact the closest he gets to matching any of his predecessors is with his monocle wearing personal physician / former Nazi scientist Dr. Carl Mortner (Grey) whose medical experiments with steroids, we are lead to believe created Zorin in one of the few farcical moments of plotting….well that and the dynamite on the blimp, I mean seriously what is the deal with that?

Surprisingly on this mission Bond actually receives more assistance than normal as he is joined by CIA agent Chuck Lee (Yip) who was originally supposed to be Bond’s usual contact Felix Leiter, but due to the use of the Chinatown setting for Bond’s time in San Francisco, the character of Chuck Lee was created instead. More intresting through is the inclusion of Patrick Macnee who is no doubt best known for his own secret agent turn as Steed in “The Avengers” and whom here appears as MI6 agent Sir Godfrey Tibbet. Macnee is on great form here and shares some great back and forth banter with Bond when he goes undercover as Bond’s driver. Sadly for all the help he does get here, he does also get lumbered with possibly one of the most useless Bond girls in the form of Stacey (Roberts) who constantly seems to need rescuing, while at the same time being incable of doing anything without Bond’s help. Sadly when it comes to Bond girls in this entry he kind of lucks out, as even though he even seduces May Day, which considering that Moore and Jones didn’t get along means that the scene means that they share zero onscreen chemistry during his seduction scene.

The plotting is kept pretty tight throughout with minimal changes of location aswell several great set pieces including May Day’s memorable base jump from the Eiffel Tower, a fire truck chase through the streets of San Francisco and an exhilarating and highly fixed cross country horse race, while director Glen resists the need to include any friendly banter between Bond and Zorin, which has for so long been one of the cornerstones of the franchise were Bond frequently comes across almost chummy with the villains he is supposed to be stopping. True Glen does detract from some the action scenes with some overly jokey moments, such as Bond’s rapidly disintegrating car during the Paris chase or the mass destruction of police cars at the Golden Gate Bridge, but these are minor quibbles especially when the film is one of the better Moore helmed Bond adventures.

Perhaps it’s more down to various aspects of this film such as Walken’s delightfully villainous Zorin (possibly the best bond villain since Dax in “Moonraker”) or getting to see Grace Jones giving us another Amazonian turn which includes her lifting her then boyfriend Dolph Lundgren above her head, that I view this film so fondly, but even when I detach such opinions from the film, this is still one of the more enjoyable Bond romps even for its few faults.

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Welcome To The Jungle AKA: The Rundown

January 27, 2013, 1:25 pm

≫ Next: The Man With The Iron Fists

≪ Previous: A View To A Kill

Title: Welcome To the Jungle AKA: The Rundown

Director: Peter Berg
Released: 2003
Staring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Rosario Dawson, Christopher Walken, Ewen Bremner, Jon Gries, Ernie Reyes Jr, William Lucking, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Plot: Beck (Johnson) is a “retrieval expert”, keen to get out of the business so that he can open a restaurant, something not made easier by boss Walker (Lucking) constantly screwing him over. However when Walker agrees to release Beck from his contract if he can do one last job, he soon finds himself heading to South America to get Walker’s son Travis (Scott) in the town of El Dorado nicknamed “Helldorado” by the locals due to local tyrant Hatcher (Walken) who is not so keen to let Travis leave, especially when he belives that Travis can lead him to a rare artefact O Gato do Diablo aka “The Devils Cat”.

Review: Despite being the breakout film for Johnson whom at this point was still working under his equally well know wrestling alter-ego “The Rock”, it surprisingly remains largely unseen by most people outside of wrestling / action fans which is something of a shame as it is certainly one of the better wrestler headling productions which WWE Studios was setup to make, especially with WWE owner Vince McMahon never being one to miss a promotion opportunity, even though wrestlers have hardly had a track record as credible acting talent, even more when such promotion ideas have lead to the world being given such cinematic monstrosities as “Santa With Muscles” and “Mr. Nanny” both staring Hulk Hogan back when he decided to take a break from trying to convince the world he was still relevant as a wrestler and instead was trying to convince the world he could act.

Still this has not been to say that there haven’t been wrestlers who have managed to transfer their ring presence to the screen, as seen with Kane (See No Evil), Rowdy Roddy Piper (They Live / Hell Comes To Frogtown) and current WWE favourite John Cena who surprisingly has not had the same luck that Johnson has had, despite appearing in the surprisingly good “The Marine” and the sadly overlooked “12 Rounds”, though perhaps if he wasn’t appearing in trash like “Fred: The Movie” it might also help. This film however would prove to be just the boost that Johnson’s acting career needed, especially after his previous lead in “The Scorpion King” failed to be the star making vehicle that it was expected to be, while this film seemingly was crafted to work to all of Johnson’s strengths such as his natural charm and general ass kicking abilities, while finally showing him as the leading man the WWE wanted him to be seen as.

Director Berg was an interesting choice to direct this film, especially considering that his only feature credit at this point in his career was the black comedy “Very Bad Things” a polar opposite of this film, which clearly sparked in him a taste for action movies, especially seen by the films like “The Kingdom” and “Battleship” which followed in the wake of this film and here crafts a confident and flashy action comedy which with its treasure hunting subplot also seemingly is trying to work within a similar mould to the Indiana Jones movies. Berg though ensures that the film hits the ground running with a brutal club fight when a collection doesn’t go as smoothly as Beck would like and from here the pace never lets up the film continues at a breezy pace, effortless combining scenes of comedy with bone crunching action, with Johnson proving himself equally at home with either style, while Scott provides most of the laughs as he plays the sort of goofball sidekick that Johnny Knoxville has been for the best part of his acting career been trying to play with decidedly mixed results and even though is essentially the same kind of double act we saw in “Bullet Proof Monk”. Also on comedy relief is Ewan Bremner who no doubt most of us remember as Spud from Trainspotting, than any of his other random roles and here seems to be have been included only because American audiences find the Scottish accent insanely funny or so it would seem, especially considering that its this kind of thinking that gave Shrek (something else I don’t get the appeal of) a Scottish accent.

Certainly what really helps this film though is the huge advantage of casting Walken as its Villain, who here truly is on scene chewing duties as he manages to invoke the same kind of presence that he had in “King of New York” were he doesn’t need to rely on random of acts of violence to seem imposing and like Frank in that film, he has his group of thugs enforce his will should anyone wish to test him, which in this case is a group of bullwhip welding heavies. Meanwhile his income is supplied through forcing the local villagers to dig in his mines for gold, something which I have a feeling was more the result of a rewrite in the production process, even more so when his mines have more the look of a blood diamond mine, which is what I assume he was originally mining for. Still this is Walken at his villainous best, so that when he steps up to a towering man mountain like Johnson (even more so outside of the ring), he still retains an intimidating error and one of someone very much in control of the situation, even though Beck could no doubt despatch of Hatcher with the minimum amount of ease, Hatcher’s status within this village as a tyrant means that he raised well before his own limitations and it’s a role sold perfectly by Walken.

Beck though is far from your traditional action hero, seeing how he shuns the use of guns and would prefer to diplomatically work things out with his foes, rather than just using his fists, as seen during the opening confrontation, were after his initial attempts to reason with the football player he’s been set to collect from result in a drink to the face, normal cue to said football player to be introduced to alittle badass dentistry, but instead Beck walks away and phone his bosses to try and find another way to handle the situation, only to then be forced into unleashing his badass side which as we will see throughout the film is never a good thing for those crossing Beck. However bizarrely there is no real reason given for why Beck handles his business like this or why he hates guns, with the only reason being given is the idea that seemingly Beck is only in his current line of work to help fund his restaurant dream. Beck however as would see with the later action movies Johnson has made, is the same kind of softly softly action hero that his future similar roles would be cast from and the sort of badass that Vin Diesel likes to play, were with their size they appear dominating yet are more happy to avoid confrontation were they can and either reason or intimidate those who get in their way, before resorting to a good old fashioned ass kicking when that fails.

Looking back at this film it is now easy to see how Johnson made the leap from wrestler to actor, even more so with the bold career choices which followed such as his lead role in “Southland Tales”, making it all the more of a shame that most people seem to be more interested in his later films when he changed his name and became a full time actor than these early films which only makes it more of a shame especially when they are missing out on the generally fun times this film provides, while it’s Indiana Jones style elements make me wish that it had gotten a sequel, but for now we have to contend with just this one adventure while being left to dream as to what could have been.

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The Man With The Iron Fists

February 7, 2013, 3:38 pm

≫ Next: My Movie Year: The 90's

≪ Previous: Welcome To The Jungle AKA: The Rundown

Title: The Man With The Iron Fists

Director: RZA
Released: 2012
Staring: RZA, Russell Crowe, Cung Le, Lucy Liu, Rick Yune, David Bautista, Jamie Chung, Byron Mann, Kuan Tai Chen

Plot:In nineteenth century China, Jungle Village is home to several warring clans. The village blacksmith (RZA) creates deadly weapons for the clans, intending to use his payments to purchase the freedom of his lover Lady Silk (Chung), and escape the village. The region's governor tasks the Lion Clan's leader Gold Lion (Chen) with protecting a large shipment of gold that must pass through the village. Gold is betrayed by his lieutenants Silver Lion (Mann) and Bronze Lion (Le), who plan to steal the gold. Gold's son Zen-Yi (Yune) soon learns of his father's murder and sets off to the village to seek revenge, while the Emperor’s undercover emissary Jack Knife (Crowe) arrives at Jungle Village to monitor the gold as the stage is soon set for epic showdown.

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My Movie Year: The 90's

February 11, 2013, 2:47 pm

≫ Next: Empire Records

≪ Previous: The Man With The Iron Fists

As part of YAM Magazine’s first “Time Machine Blogathon” which this time takes us back to the 90’s. So what better excuse to look at my favourite movies of the decade, if only to help highlight some of the great and frequently overlooked films which came out during this era, which would also see with 1999one of the most exciting years of film making in years, as I looked at previously.

1990

Essential Film: La Femme Nikita

Luc Besson’s tale of teenage junkie Nikita (Anne Parillaud) who after killing a cop during a bungled pharmacy robbery, finds herself convicted of murder and sentenced to a life in prison, only to soon find herself recruited by a shadowy government agent known as the Centre to be trained as an assassin under the watchful eye of her handler Bob (Tcheky Karyo).

Besson here brings to what would be the usual action / adventure yarn with fist fights and explosions and instead gives us something quite special as while there is certainly an element of action here, what he also gives us is an actual insight into the psychology of this character as she is slowly broken down and rebuilt into the perfect assassin by the Company, with scenes of her being taught to apply lipstick by Amande (Jeanne Moreau) being just as gripping as any of the action scenes which include a pulse pounding restaurant escape.

Although it was remade for an American audience as “Assassin” with Bridget Fonda, this is the definitive version

Further Viewing:King of New York, Darkman

1991

Essential Film: Delicatessen

One of the first films by the highly original French directing duo of Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet this surreal Post-apocalyptic black comedy about the residents of an apartment block, owned by the butcher Clapet (Jean-Caude Dreyfus) above whose shop the residents live and who has taken to killing the handymen he employs to keep the residents supplied in meat, which is bad news really for Ex clown Louison (Dominique Pinon) who has just been employed as the new handyman, unaware of what happened to his predecessors.

A strange film to say the least, but not so out there that it leaves the audience wondering what the hell is going on, as it constantly maintains a playful tone as it switches between genres, to give the sort of original film that only Caro and Jeunet are capable of doing, as this is once again very much in their fairytales for grown ups style.

Further Viewing: Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, Rikki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

1992

Essential Film:Hard Boiled

One of if not the best of John Woo’s movies and if you ever needed an example of why he is seen as the king of action movies, this would be a great start, as we are barely minutes into the film before he throws us head first into the first of the films many jaw dropping action sequences, as Insp Tequila (Chow Yun-Fat) unleashes his own dual pistol welding brand of justice.

Featuring a cast of Hong Kong greats which includes Tony Leung and Anthony Wong, John Woo here sets a benchmark for Heroic Gunplay movies, while featuring a hospital shootout, which clocks in at over thirty minutes without reputation. This is one infectious mix of gunplay, explosions and jazz!

Further Viewing: Braindead, Man Bites Dog, Porco Rosso

1993

Essential Film: Cronos

The debut film by Guillermo del Toro, here sees him reworking the vampire mythos, with this tale of an mechanical scarab-shaped device which grants the wearer the gift of eternal life aswell as a thirst for blood. This in many ways marking the start of things to come, while establishing del Toro as a the visionary director he is recognised as today, while for one reason of another this film has outside of genre fans been left largely unseen.

Here he shows a clear love for the genre, while as with the films which followed it also showed that he was not afriad to break the rules and breathe new life into a much over worked horror sub-genre with this truly unique film which is as visually stunning as it as it times horrifying.

Further Viewing: Army of Darkness, Falling Down, Iron Monkey, Ninja Scroll, True Romance

1994

Essential Film: The Crow

It would be a sad case of history repeating itself that Brandon Lee’s breakout film would sadly be his last, as he died during filming and much like his father Bruce Lee, who also never got to enjoy the success of his own breakout film “Enter The Dragon”. The first of two films to be directed by Alex Proyas on this list, with this certainly the better known of the two no doubt thanks to the cult following it has built up since it’s release, aswell as the controversy of Lee’s death during the last eight days of filming.

This classic tale of revenge based on the graphic novel by James O’Barr, about rock musician Eric Draven (Lee) rising from the grave to avenge his own murder aswell as that of his fiancée via the mystical powers of the crow, which now makes him immune from physical harm. The film is drenched in gothic styling while also containing many nods in its style to both “Blade Runner” and Tim Burtons “Batman”. Needless to say this film looks stunning and would make for a design test run for the lesser seen “Dark City. Lee meanwhile embodies the character of Draven, while equally showing himself to be just as capable as both a dramatic actor as he is as an actor star, while this film just leaves us to wonder what could have been,

Further Viewing: Fist of Legend, Hoop Dreams, The Hudsucker Proxy, Wing Chun

1995

Essential Film: Empire Records

Back when this film was released it considered to be pretty cool job to work in a record shop, though I’m not sure that this still stands with nearly every record store having long since closed down and kids today more keen to work for I dunno Amazon or something, but still this film still has a lot of charm, especially for those of us who belonged to the MTV generation, which essentially this film is the embodiment of.

Following the employees of a Empire Records over the course of one truly exceptional day, when one of the employees Lucas (Rory Cochrane) discovers that the store is to be turned into a franchise store called music town, leading the employees to band together to save the store.
Staring many future stars including Renee Zellweger, Liv Tyler and Anthony LaPaglia as the long suffering store owner and father figure Joe, this coming of age comedy never seems to get the attention it really deserves, especially when it combines teenage angst with shameless AC/DC worship and even a pot brownie trip which sees Mark (Ethan Embry) rocking out with GWAR before being eaten by their giant worm thing, which honestly for that one scene alone makes it a must see.

Also Noteworthy: The Basketball Diaries, The City of Lost Children, The DoomGeneration , La Haine, Ghost In The Shell, Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, Living In Oblivion. Mortal Kombat, Welcome To The Dollhouse

1996

Essential Film: Joe’s Apartment

When picking this year’s selection, I went back and forth so much between this one and “From Dusk Till Dawn”, both of which could be considered essential, but eventually it would be this film which won out on the grounds of “Dusk Till Dawn” already being pretty well known and secondly because this is a film about a man who lives with talking cockroaches and who wouldn’t want to see that movie?

An expansion on the original 1992 short film, while also inspired by “Twilight of the Cockroaches” and the 1987 short “Those Damn Roaches” this tale of penniless Joe (Jerry O’Connell), who having moved to New York soon finds himself sharing his apartment with around 20 to 30 thousand roommates, in the form of a bunch of all singing and dancing cockroaches, who having recognised Joe as being one of their own, soon set out to lend him a helping hand.

Using a mixture of stop motion animation and the slightly cheaper effect of just making parts of the apartment rattle, this is a random film to say the least and while it might not work in places, when the roaches are in screen, it usually guarantees fun times, with the standout moment being their attempts to help Joe on a date, which unsurprisingly ends in chaos. A strange curiosity from the MTV generation and a reminder of the kind of projects that MTV used to be involved with before they changed their focus to the likes of “The Hills” and “Jersey Shore”.

Further Viewing: From Dusk Till Dawn, Trees Lounge, Swingers

1997

Essential Film: Princess Mononoke

One of my all time favourite Studio Ghibli movies, this epic tale of industry versus nature as Ashitaka finds himself caught in the battle lines drawn by Lady Eboshi of Iron Town, who is destroying the forest merely for her people's own good and the guardians of the forest.

Visually stunning with highly intelligent scripting, this is another perfect example of the genius of Hayao Miyazaki, while also being commisioned by Disney who clearly did not know what they were getting with this film, which not only has burst of violence, bloodshed and gore but also is far from thier usual fluffy plotting and styling, as Miyazaki combines fantasy and mythology in his gripping and fast paced tale.

Further Viewing: Breakdown, Boogie Nights, Cube, Chasing Amy, Funny Games, The Game, Junk Mail, Life Is Beautiful, Mimic, Nowhere, Orgazmo, Rainy Dog, Starship Troopers

1998

Essential Film:Dark City

The second Alex Proyas on this list and sadly the most overlooked, as this Kafka esq tale opens with John (Refus Sewell) waking up naked in a hotel bathtub, his memories erased and a mutilated prostitute on the bed. Soon John finds himself framed for a string of brutal and bizarre murders and on the run from not only the police, but also the strange trench coat clad men known only as “The Strangers” as he tries to piece together his missing memories.

Sharing the same gothic styling as his previous film "The Crow" this film only built upon those designs as here Proyas gives us a city of perminant midnight,with definite shades of Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil” and Fritz Lang’s “Metropolis”while skillfully combining elements of sci-fi and noir to create a potent mix, while drip feeding the audience infomation as to the truth about Dark City.

Further Viewing: American History X, BASEketball, The Big Lebowski, Ringu, Run Lola Run, Rushmore

1999

Essential Film: Cruel Intentions

An MTV style reworking of the classic novel “Les Liaisons Dangereuses” by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos, which has over the years has been adapted no less than thirteen times, with certainly the most well known being the 1988 version released as “Dangerous Liaisons” while this version would be by far the most original as the story is relocated to modern day New York, as step siblings Kathryn (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Sebastian (Ryan Phillippe) play games of seduction, with their latest target being the virginal Annette (Reese Witherspoon) with the challenge being set by Kathryn that Sebastian cannot bed her before the start of the school year, while Kathryn sets about also corrupting the naïve Cecile (Selma Blair) as part of a plan of revenge against her ex boyfriend who left her for Cecile.

While it may have been released in the same year as “American Pie” this film proved to be a much smarter drama and with a sharper sense of humour, but none the less sex crazed which came as something of a surprise to Geller’s fans who were more used to her playing Buffy on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” so for her to be reeling off such lines as “In English? I'll fuck your brains out” all of course greeted with whoops of joy from most of the male audience, much like the much talked about experimental kissing scene between Geller and Blair, all from a film bizarrely marketed in some places as a chick flick, when it contains plenty to appeal to most audiences.

The cast at the time were largely B-list or unknowns, yet all embody their various characters, while for some the film marking a rare high point in their careers, still even years after it’s initial shocking dialogue has since been beaten in terms of filth, it still remains a solid drama and a nice twist on a classic novel.

Further Viewing: eXistenz, Dogma

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Empire Records

February 14, 2013, 3:57 pm

≫ Next: Ruby Sparks

≪ Previous: My Movie Year: The 90's

Title: Empire Records

Director: Allan Moyle
Released: 1995
Staring: Anthony LaPagila, Maxwell Caulfield, Debi Mazar, Renee Zellweger, Rory Cochrane, Johnny Whitworth, Robin Tunney, Ethan Embry, Coyote Shivers, Brenden Sexton III, Liv Tyer, James “Kimo” Wills, Ben Bode

Plot: Set over the course of one truly manic day as a group of employees at the independent record store “Empire Records discovers that the store is to be turned into a franchise store called music town, leading the employees to band together to save the store.

Review: As I noted with my previous post, this film is something of a time capsule for those of us who could be classed as being part of the MTV generation, not only in terms of its soundtrack but the whole styling of the film, let alone the fact it is about working in a record shop, something which I doubt holds the same appeal it did back when the film was released, especially with the rise of ITUNES and online music providers having effectively killed of the high street record stores. No doubt had this film been released now it would no doubt have them as Amazon staffers or something, much like how Peter Parker now works as a web designer in Spiderman than as a freelance photographer.

Still to watch this film you would still belive that working in a record store is still the cool career it was back then, with the script by Carol Heikkinen being based on her experiences working at the long since defunct Tower Records, which for the most part helps bring a sense of realism to the script, as anyone who has worked in retail can no doubt attest to, even if she bizarrely opts to not include any problem customers unlike “Clerks” which choose to make them very much a central theme. As a result it would seem have a job at "Empire Records" to be the most fun and laid back job in the world especially when manager Joe (LaPagila) for the most part has a pretty lax attitude towards his staff work attitude, only occasionally coming out of his office to put one of them back in line. The rest of the time the employees generally manage things themselves, even dishing out their own vigilante style justice when it comes to hunt down wannabe shoplifter Warren (Sexton). However despite this they still have formed between them an alternative family unit, despite being wildly different from each other and here it would seem that Joes’ real role in the store comes into play as he acts for the most part like the resident father figure, even more so for some of the group who openly confess to missing parental figures, while there is a real sense that without the store and each other that these assorted misfits would be ultimately lost.

Over the course of the film the group all have their own issues to deal with which generally are the typical teen movie fodder with A.J. (Whitworth) trying to find a way to tell Corey (Tyler) that he loves her, while Corey is on her own quest to loose her virginity to her crush Rex Manning (Caulfield), the fading and pompous pop star who is holding a signing at the store to promote his new album. Elsewhere and on the more extreme end of things is Deb who following her failed suicide attempt has randomly decided to shave her head. However this is not all recycled after school special and “Saved By The Bell” plotlines, as the resident oddball Mark (Embry) keeps the tone light with his sudden desire to form a band called “Marc”, while having the appearance of a kid with hyperactivity on a sugar binge as his generally sunny disposition never seems to waver, even when on the wrong side of a pot brownie trip in which he is rocking out with “GWAR” only to be then fed to their giant worm thing. Equally on hand to provide the comedic quota is beatnik Lucas (Cochrane) whose philosophical ramblings somehow help everyone else in the store to figure out the solutions to their problems, even though frustratingly they could have saved a lot of time finding out the fate of the store if he just came out with it like a normal person.

What is missing from the film though is any real kind of bad guy or even a meaningful threat for while the store might be closing, there is never any real sense of panic between the employee’s, just a lot of muttering of “Damn the man!” whenever the topic music town is brought up, with the store owner Mitchell (Bode) more laughable than threatening. As a result the closest we get to any kind of villain here is the pompous Rex Manning and seemingly styled on Robert Palmer, judging by his music video antics. While his actual villainous side might come more from his unrestrained ego aswell as questionable Salad dressing blowjob suggestion than any kind of act of real evil he still makes for a reasonable problem for the group to band together again, even more so with the distinct lack of any other kind of threat on hand here, while Caulfield has fun playing such a sleazy character

Despite being critically mauled on its original release it still proved to be a launch pad for the careers of many of the cast, as rightfully predicted by some critics. However despite being branded a flop on its original release ithas over the years become a real cult classic and rightfully so as here we have not only a highly likable group of characters despite being wildly varied from each other, but it is actually fun to spend time with them, with the film being shot in such a way it feels that you a part of the group rather than an outsider looking in, with random breaks of the forth wall only furthering this illusion. However since that original release the studio have felt the need to tinker with the original cut and wheel out a new version for the DVD, which gives the film fifteen minutes of originally cut footage, which unlike many previous directors cuts (Aliens, Blade Runner) his additional footage adds nothing to the film and infact only detracts from the film, especially as it results in certain characters being potrayed in a completely different way, with Gina (Zellweger) now seeming a whole lot more slutty than before, making this one of those rare occasions were I would urge you to hunt down the VHS version of the film, to get the original and definitive cut of the film aswell as a great piece of 90’s nostalgia.

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Ruby Sparks

February 17, 2013, 10:45 am

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≪ Previous: Empire Records

Title: Ruby Sparks

Director: Valerie Faris and Jonathan Dayton
Released: 2012
Staring: Paul Dano, Zoe Kazan, Elliott Gould, Chris Messina, Annette Bening, Antonio Banderas, Steve Coogan, Alia Shawkat

Plot: Calvin (Dano) a struggling young novelist and writing prodigy, who after being launched into superstardom with his first novel, now finds himself plagued with writer’s block while working on the follow up. Unwittingly though he manages to bring his latest character Ruby Sparks (Zoe Kazan) to life, whom he soon embarks on a relationship with having based her on his dream girl, only to find that even the seemingly most perfect girl can be less than perfect.

Review: Despite releasing the wonderful “Little Miss Sunshine” to critical acclaim it has taken another six years for us to finally receive this follow up from the husband and wife directing duo who truly established themselves as an original voice of indie film making with their debut feature, especially after having spent the early years of their career directing music videos for the likes of “R.E.M.” and “The Smashing Pumpkins” and it was great to see them able to carry their unique visions into feature film making and something which thankfully still remains here, while Zoe Kazan who appears here as the titular Ruby makes her own writing debut with a non the less confident voice.

Bizarrely the script was inspired by a random combination of a discarded mannequin and the Greek myth of “Pygmalion” the sculptor who fell in love with a statue he had carved. Working with the equally imaginative Faris and Dayton they have together crafted here a highly unique rom-com of sorts via the way of “Stranger Than Fiction” which is also looked at the idea of fiction shaping reality, something which especially comes into play during the second half of the film when Calvin realises that he can still shape Ruby’s character with a few keystrokes on his typewriter, he can make her speak fluent French or even change her personality completely. While portrayed in the trailers as a light hearted rom-com, the film also hides a much darker side, especially once Calvin starts adjusting her personality to smooth over the things he doesn’t like, as he makes her more clingy and carefree before finally taking out an unnerving dominant side on her, as he further enforces just how control he is of her life, while his performance during this scene means that I won’t surprised if we see him playing a serial killer in the near future

Right from the start though this film just oozes indie cool, as you realise that this film could only have been made as an indie film, as it requires the level of subtlety that this film brings to the table, even go so far as to not complicate the sudden arrival of Ruby nor the rules of her existence. Honestly I don’t even think they explain how she came to exist in reality, but rather the film takes the tact of throwing the idea out to the audience and challenging them to go along with it, which thanks to how engaging these characters are is never a problem, even if Faris and Dayton do give into convention for the ending which seemed perhaps a little more traditional than I would have expected from this film, which seemingly has it’s ending only to tact a happier one on top of it.

Both Dano and Kazan give amazing performances here and despite being an off screen couple, manage the not so easy feat of showing real on screen chemistry, with both actors playing off each others performances well, with Faris and Dayton reuniting here with Dano convincingly playing the fumbling and reclusive literacy prodigy, who spends his days walking his dog Scotty (named after his favourite author F. Scott Fitzgerald), pottering around his minimalist LA apartment or sitting in front of his classic typewriter crippled with the pressures of producing a second novel and whose only real connection to the outside world being through his therapy sessions Dr. Rosenthal (Gould) or gym sessions with his brother Harry (Messina) who is essentially the complete opposite of Calvin as he exudes confidence and generally lives the life which Calvin wishes he could have. Kazan here embodies the character the character of Ruby, not only in her quirky original form, but also as she is gradually changed by Calvin over the course of the film, embodying each change with an air of indie cool so that you truly believe that Calvin is changing and reshaping her personality with the keys of his typewriter.

While Faris and Dayton hit casting gold with their leads, this luck also extends to the supporting cast aswell with Annette Bening and Antonio Banderas, proving a fun addition as Calvin’s hippy mother and her boyfriend, whose carefree lifestyle sits in direct opposition to the organised and high stress life Calvin currently finds himself in. Elsewhere Steve Coogan puts in a fun cameo as Calvin’s writing rival and friend Langdon Tharp, as does indie favourite Alia Shawkat who puts in a far to brief appearance as Calvin’s obsessed fan Mabel.

A film which falls between “Stranger Than Fiction” and “500 Days of Summer”, it is one which proves that you can make a rom-com without having to drown proceedings in saturnine sweetness and a top 40 soundtrack especially with the film favoring a decidedly classical soundtrack. At the same time the film also proves that you can make an enjoyable film with some element of mystery to it, without fear of excluding the majority of your audience more used to having every plot point expanded and explained in its simplest terms. Although to some Faris and Dayton might seem like indie film making tourists with their by the book style and certain restraint in pushing conventions too far, this film does continue to highlight them as talent to watch, only heres hoping that the wait won’t be so long for the next film.

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American Mary

February 24, 2013, 2:13 pm

≫ Next: For Your Height Only

≪ Previous: Ruby Sparks

Title: American Mary

Director: Soska Sisters
Released: 2012

Staring: Katharine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk, David Lovgren, Paula Lindberg, Clay St. Thomas, John Emmet Tracy, Twan Holiday, Paul Anthony

Plot: Mary (Isabelle), a medical student and aspiring surgeon finds herself increasingly more in debt and disenchanted with the surgical world she once aspired to be part of. However when a chance encounter provides her with an alternative use for her surgical skills as she now enters into the world of underground surgeries and body modification.

Review: Since the release of their 2009 debut “Dead Hooker In A Trunk” I have been keen to see how the Soska Sisters (Jen and Sylvia) would follow it up, especially with its unrestrained neo-grindhouse style certainly making it a hard film to follow up especially when it had such a frenzied energy to it. Still there was something clearly there which marked the Soska sisters out to myself as a talent worth watching and here it would seem that it was a hunch which paid off, as they return with a film which while less frenzied and more glossy looking than their debut only further marks them out as names worth watching, even more so when you consider how over populated the horror genre has become in recent years, with pretenders and questionable talent that it is actually refreshing to see that there are still genuinely original talents still working in the genre, something which is only driven home here.

Opening with Mary suturing a turkey, a transfixed look of fascination on her face as she practises her surgical skills, while in the classroom room proving herself as the unquestioning protégé of her mentor Dr. Grant (Lovgren), whose own ethics are questionable to say the least, as he sends Mary to advise a patients family that they have suffered a heart attack, before sending her back out moments later to inform them that he is actually dead. This is of course before he revels his true colours during a date rape party held by several of the senior doctors at the hospital, in which they prey on the young female student doctors who have been unwittingly invited. This creepily haunting scene however is not about cheap shocks, but rather the catalyst for Marys journey to the dark side, as soon thanks to shady club owner Billy (Cupo) and stripper and Betty Boop lookalike Beatress she soon finds a whole new use for her surgical skills.

It is on this new path that we are soon introduced to a different kind of clientele whom Mary now chooses to operate on, as she ditches medical school for the underground surgical trade, with her clientele certainly coming with their own specialised requests from living doll Ruby who is keen to complete her doll transformation through to a pair of twins (played by the Soska sisters themselves) who want to swap arms with each other. Despite the increasingly bizarre demands of her clients, she never views any of them with distain of any kind of judgement, instead only seeing them as being the next challenge for her surgical skills and while she is initially thrown wide eyed and apprehensive into this underground world of body modification she soon quickly adjusts to what she sees and the requests of her clients so that eventually nothing fazes her, while the sole time she any repulsion is when a guy walks into her surgery and requests something as simple as a piercing.

Shot in mainly dark shades with a healthy dose of black humour in the right places, this film is very much in the same dark landscape which Clive Barker frequently lurks, yet the Soska sisters are seemingly just at home in this same setting which perfectly suits the tone of the film, especially as Mary becomes increasingly more involved in this underground world and her initial reservations melting away as she turns herself into a creature of gothic beauty. Needless to say despite being influenced this is still very much in the Soska’s vision much like so many of their other influences that are subtly referenced throughout.

Isabelle is perfectly cast in the role of Mary, who she seems to be channelling her inner Zooey Deschanel to play, which for myself only made her all the more appealing, while Isabelle who had already established her horror credentials with “Ginger Snaps” and “Ginger Snaps” unleashed (to name but two) is easily at home here, especially during the occasionally gooey surgical scenes, while once she fully evolves into her underground surgeon persona, she is like a shark both beautiful to watch as she operates in high heels and suspenders, yet equally deadly as those who cross here soon discover, especially when she truly revels just how black her dark side really is. For the most part this is a one woman show, while Isabelle handles effortlessly, while at the same time she receives equally strong support from the rest of the cast who all come with their own memorable moments from the cooing and permanently perky Beatress right through to her bear-like assistant / bodyguard Lance (Holiday) who while largely mute and played like a disposable background character for the majority of the film, pulls out of a blinding surprise monologue in one of the many surprise moments within the film.

While the setup might be off putting to the more squeamish the Soska’s have actually resisted the urge to throw the film into full blown splatter, for while there is some surgical gore it largely kept to a minimum while during a particularly heavy moment, the camera actually pans away, as if disgusted by what is happening on screen. While this might seem like all tease and no pay off, it is actually the opposite as never do you feel like you have been cheated out of seeing anything, while one of Mary’s pet projects brought back memories of Takashi Miike’s “Audition” though how intentional this nod was is hard to tell, especially when the Soska are working with such an original voice, even more so when they avoid the usual pitfalls of setting a film within the body modification community, by not mining it for easy shocks or turning it into the usual willy waving contest of being more fucked up than everyone else, as usually tends to be the case as even a casual glance through a copy of “Bizarre Magazine” will only further highlight.

While “Dead Hooker In A Trunk” might have been an exciting debut, this film truly marks the Soska sisters out as a talent to watch, especially when they bring such an original voice to the horror genre as they prove once more here, with this delightfully dark and twisted tale of personal beauty and surgical perfection.

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For Your Height Only

February 26, 2013, 4:28 am

≫ Next: Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil

≪ Previous: American Mary

Title: For Your Height Only

Director: Eddie Nicart
Released: 1981
Staring: Weng Weng, Yehlen Cathral, Carmi Martin, Anna Marie Gutierrez, Beth Sandoval, Max Alverado, Mike Cohen, Tony Ferrer, Jim Gaines, Rodolfo ‘Boy’ Garcia, Romy Nario, Ruben Ramos

Plot: When Mr. Giant kidnaps the brilliant scientist Dr. Van Kohler (Cohen), in a bid to get his hands on the N-Bomb, superspy Agent 00 (Weng) is despatched to stop him.

Review: Possibly one of the better known Filipino genre movies no doubt largely in part to it’s 2’9 leading man and cult figure Weng Weng, with this film being possibly his most well-known. So with Emily (Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense) looking at “The Man With The Golden Gun” as part of her 3rd Annual shortening. A full month of films devoted to the vertically challenged, be they dolls, trolls, spiders, monkey butlers, bratz, cats and more! What better time to revisit this shall we say unique film.

Setup exactly the same as the Bond movies it spoofs even shamelessly using the Bond Theme, with the title being a deliberate (and not to say obvious) play on “For Your Eyes Only” which was released the same year as this film, so hence we Dr. Van Kohler is kidnapped by the forces of evil, which in this case look like pretty much every other generic crime movie gang even to the point where they don’t even bother with an actual name for their organisation, though they do have a magic mirror which flashes on and off and serves as their sole source of communication with the illusive Mr. Giant. Still despite kidnapping Dr. Kohler it is still pretty confusing what their actual goal is seeing how at one point it seems to be about flooding schools with drugs hidden inside loafs of bread, which is kind of a questionable plan seeing how kids don’t usually have access to large amounts of cash to buy drugs, which no doubt explains why they then change I to threatening the world with the N-Bomb, a device which is not only explained as to what it actually does, but never appears on screen and seemingly exists in name only.

While the villians attempts at actually villainy might be shall we say slightly unfocused, at least when it comes to the character of Agent 00 it is alittle more on target, as he is introduced in classic Bond style, lounging around the pool with a couple of bikini clad ladies, as despite his short stature he certainly never seems to have any problem with the ladies especially as he gives even Bond’s seduction skills a run for their money over the course of the film. Equally like Bond, Agent 00 has his own set of gadgets which are introduced via possibly the most vague gadget briefing ever, as he is passed the gadgets often with only a brief outline of what they do or in some cases such as his x-ray glasses no information atall other than “Pretty Cool, Huh?” as Agent 00 just gives a knowing smile. It is actually kind of handy that he knows what half of these things do as the audience is certainly never filled in, often only finding out when he uses them for the first time. The gadgets he is given, though seem like such a mixed bag, while frequently there to give another knowing nod to Bond, as Agent 00 not only gets his own “Thunderball” style jet pack but also a remote control hat seemingly modelled after Oddjob’s bowler hat from “Goldfinger”, only with non of the same deadly potential as this hat just floats around in front of the bad guys, who due to their pathetically cowardly nature are intimidated enough by this cheap effect of a hat on a string to just run away, leaving me now with the belief that flying hats are clearly a lot scarier to Filipino gangsters than the rest of the world!

Such randomness seems to come as standard with the majority of Agent 00’s gadgets, meaning that we gets scenes such as when he uses his x-ray glasses, which not only allow him to see the bad guys hiding in his hotel room, but also them naked seeing how x-ray works only on fabric and not actual human skin. Agent 00 also has his own mini PPK style pistol aswell as a quick assembly mini machine gun, yet when neither is available to hand, he never seems to have trouble finding a miniature weapon nearby, as seen during the climatic raid on Mr. Giant’s island hide away were he takes on a number of samurai warrior armed with a mini Katanta which seemingly appears out of nowhere. Needless to say either without his weapons he is just as capable with his martial arts skills, which are surprisingly nimble with the scenes were he gets to show off these skills, actually being one of the better handled and more coherent of the film, which randomly skips between random scenes on almost the same whim that “Sister Street Fighter” memorably did. Considering that Weng Weng was an avid martial arts enthusiast it is unsurprising hat these scenes are handled a lot better than most of the film, as he showcases not only surprising speed, but also a Jackie Chan style fluidity even as he utilises his surroundings frequently to his advantage, much like his height which seems to be a real weakness for the gangsters he faces, who frequently seem to be overwhelmed in these confrontations.

The real humour of the film though is with the questionable dub track, which it is hard to tell if it is supposed to be so intentionally funny or something which was added later in distribution. Either way it contains such gems as

"You're such a tiny little guy, though. Very petite, like a potato".

"why, he's making a monkey out of the forces of evil"

Or my personal favourite which is said in reference to a crime scene photographer

"I wonder if she does Bar Mitzvahs".

As I said it is hard to tell how much is planned, especially when the film features so many moments of physical comedy, such as a running joke about Agent 00 banging his head while sliding across the floor.

For all the randomness in the film, it is really a credit to Weng Weng that it is actually as watchable as it is, as he owns the character of Agent 00, as he confidently struts around n polyester suits and turtlenecks, often wearing sunglasses which almost cover his entire face, while making even somehow making more random moments of the film slightly more plausible than they could have been, no doubt thanks to his own abilities as an actor / martial artist and the end result despite the obvious budget restraints is the sort of enjoyable nonsense that you hope to find when hunting down these kinds of movies and while it is certainly not a lone example of dwarf-sploitation (if that’s the right term) with films like “The Terror of Tiny Town” and to an extent “Electra Glide In Blue” being other key examples, while Weng Weng would go on to make a sequel to this film “The Impossible Kid” aswell as the western “D’Wild Wild Weng” before his star began to fade, while this still remains one of the better and certainly more fun examples of the genre.

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Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil

March 4, 2013, 11:04 am

≫ Next: Six Movies You Really Have To Show The Kids

≪ Previous: For Your Height Only

Title: Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil
Director: Eli Craig
Released: 2012
Staring: Alan Tudyk, Tyler Labine, Katrina Bowden, Chelan Simmons, Jesse Moss

Plot: Best friends Tucker (Tudyk) and Dale (Labine) head up to Tuckers rundown holiday shack with plans of fishing, drinking beer and generally doing the place up, unaware that a group of college kids are also camping nearby. After rescuing one of their group Allison (Bowden), after a skinny dipping mishap, the boys soon find themselves on the wrong end of a series of misunderstandings which sees them being mistaken for the same crazed rednecks responsible for a series of murders in the area, as the college kids attempt to rescue Allison.

Review: Ever since Herschell Gordon Lewis unwittingly launched the “Hicksploitation” genre with “Two Thousand Maniacs”(1964) with it confederate flag waving loony’s showing a group of unwittingly tourists a whole new kind of southern hospitality , the redneck community have seemingly been demonised eternally with the likes of “I Spit On Your Grave” and “Southern Comfort" hardly helping while the words “Squeal Piggy” are still able to send a chill down the spine thanks to the mountain men of “Deliverance”, while Hollywood has continued to see them as the last easy target when in need of a bad guy fodder, especially with every other social group now deemed untouchable from movie xenophobia, while the hillbilly is frequently used as a representation of the more primitive side that as members of civilised society we have since long left behind. Still the red neck community should fear no longer as Director Eli Craig has set out to not only readdress the balance, but with “Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil” to also spin on the genre on it’s head as the roles are reversed. two hillbillies and

Despite being essentially a one joke film Director Craig has somehow managed to turn this film into so much more and what could be one of the funniest films of the year, as he shows us the flipside of the familiar horror scenarios and managing to really blow a simple to misunderstanding to the extreme, especially as the bodies start to pile up in a series of increasingly exaggerated deaths as wood chippers, hatchets and even the woods themselves prove to be surprisingly deadly to the unwitting college kids, with the majority of deaths in the film being accidents which only further paint Tucker and Dale as the psycho hillbillies they really aren’t.

The key reason for the success of the film lyes in the fact that Tucker and Dale are such a fun creations that they make the already brief run time fly past even quicker, as it’s a blast to be in the company of these two, as they play off each other with perfect comedy timing like the wilderness version of Laurel and Hardy, with Tudyk taking a break from playing oddballs and generally creepy killers which seem to be the majority of his recent roles since being thrown into the acting wildness, since the premature end of “Firefly” were he memorably played Walsh and here he’s crafts another fun creation as the frequently bewildered Tucker trying to figure out exactly were all these college kids are coming from, let alone why they seem to so intent on killing both him and Dale. Labine is also on great form as Dale, the slow witted best friend of Tucker who is just a big softy as well as painfully, despite his size frequently giving the opposite impression. Meanwhile the naivety of this duo also provides fertile ground to further play off familiar horror clichés, as they seem completely oblivious to the animal bones hanging from the walls of the shack, let alone the collection of newspaper cuttings about the college kids massacred by a killer hillbilly, instead focusing on the coupon for free hotdogs.

The college kids on the other hand are usual stereotypical group of slasher fodder with some of the group such as dumb blonde Chloe (Simmons) especially being played for laughs as she runs around the woods in her heels, meanwhile thanks to a fantasy campsite massacre any archetypes missing from the group, such as the geeky guy are covered for, while not only adding to the surprisingly high body count, but also adding gas to the groups misunderstanding as they soon start drawing comparisons between those rednecks and their current counterparts.

Gore wise things are played strictly for laughs, as the gore and violence is kept comical throughout with geyser of blood being the order of the day, with Craig thankfully never feeling the need to take the film into any kind of darker place, even when the kids are goaded into a misguided torture attempt by the real crazy of the film Chad (Moss) who not only doesn’t taken rejection well, with his darker side first making an appearance after being Allison, but somehow manages to get the group to frequently follow his misguided attempts to rescue her. Still each of these failed attempts only seem to make him more deranged, especially as his social circle slowly begins to dwindle, so that by the films sawmill climax he is a full blown chainsaw welding crazy.

Despite having the plot essentially being one joke, it never seems to be stretched thin even with seemingly filler scenes such as when Allison attempts to conduct a misguided therapy session to try and clear up the misunderstandings between the two groups while each refuse to put down their individual weapons. Meanwhile a blossoming romance between Allison and Dale is introduced with Dale slowly winning her over with his clumsy and goofy affections, yet this never feels in any way forced or unnatural even if it is the most unlikely of parings. Still were the film truly succeeds is in its accessibility, for you can watch this film with only the barest of ideas about the films it is paying homage to and still have a blast while smart dialogue and writing saves it from being reference heavy as the painfully tedious (Insert Movie genre here) Movies have become, having long since drifted away from their “Scary Movie” roots to the point were even the genre they are spoofing seems like an afterthought, unlike here were focus is never traded for a quick laugh, with the humour being largely organic with none of the deaths including the standout wood chipper death seemingly like anything other than an unfortunate accident, rather than a telegraphed sequence, with this style of humour continuing even as Tucker and Dale’s situation become all the more farcical as noted by Tucker when questioned by the local sheriff

“Oh hidy ho officer, we’ve had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.”

While this film seems set to be a film which will find its audience on DVD like so many cult comedies, it is still worth hunting down for the whole new take on Hillbilly horror which makes you wonder why no one has thought of doing this before. Still with Tucker and Dale we have a duo who I’d love to see further adventures from, perhaps seeing them unwittingly battling more traditional bogeymen, rather than being left as one hit characters as they currently seem judging by no immediate plans to follow this film up with a sequel, but for now here’s hoping this isn’t the last we have seen of Tucker and Dale.

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Six Movies You Really Have To Show The Kids

March 10, 2013, 3:58 pm

≫ Next: Django

≪ Previous: Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil

Being a father I constantly find myself dismayed by what is currently being churned out for kids today, compared to what I remember watching when I was growing up. True I might be viewing most of these films I hold so dear through the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia, but at least none, feature anything resembling the Disney school of overacting which currently dominates most live action kids shows / movies, with the worst I remember it being was just a lot of moral messages clumsily tacked onto shows including memorably the “I’m so excited” moment on “Saved By The Bell, which is apparently what happens in their world when you choose to use drugs.
So to counter these saturnine sweet, day glow coloured monstrosities, here is my list of films which I enjoyed as a kid and fully intend on corrupting my own kids with in an attempt to maintain some sense of taste for the next generation.

Labyrinth

Lighter in tone than its companion piece “The Dark Crystal” while also having the added bonus of staring David Bowie as the Goblin King Jareth. This tale of Sarah (Jennifer Connelly), a teenage girl who stuck with babysitting her half-brother Toby wishes that the goblins would take him away. Needless to say it is a wish that she soon regrets and leading her to making a deal with Jareth to return him if she can complete his Labyrinth within thirteen hours.
Written by Monty Python member Terry Jones who drew inspiration from Brian Froud’s sketches “The Goblins of the Labyrinth” this twisted fantasy tale, manages to blend the humour of the Muppets with a dash of the darkness from “The Dark Crystal” to craft a surprisingly grown up fairy tale, a point no more clearly highlighted by Sarah’s first meeting with her dwarf companion Hoggle, who is seen not only taking a long piss into a pond, but also happily spraying fairies who in this world are less angelic than any of their other incarnations and no doubt the inspiration for the squashed fairies contained within the pages of Froud’s “Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book”. Still such things seemingly weren’t picked up by own parents, much like Firey sequence which see’s them randomly removing limbs (and even eyeballs at one point) on a whim when they let me watch this as a child, no doubt thinking that the Jim Henderson label meant that it would be just like the Muppets, which essentially on the surface it would seem like the more fantastical version of, with the real dark side unlike “The Dark Crystal” only being more apparent on close inspection.

Still packed with colourful characters and a great sense of fun, it’s a fun journey with some great songs on the soundtrack provided by Bowie, while the film itself blends elements of horror, fantasy and even manages a couple of musical numbers (well no point in having Bowie and not making full use of his talents). Made pre-CGI Henderson’s use of pratical effects is nothing short of mind-blowing in places especially with his M.C Escher inspired finale.

Sadly a box office failure meaning that it never received a follow up and marking one of the darker periods of Henderson’s career while also meaning that it would be the last feature film he would make. Despite not having an official sequel we were given one with Tokyopop’s manga “Return to Labyrinth” set thirteen years after this film and following Toby as a teenager being lured back to the Labyrinth by Jareth. Elsewhere last year a prequel graphic novel charting Jareth’s rise to power as the Goblin king ensuring the legacy continues to live on even if it’s not quite in the form the fans would have preferred.

The Flight of Dragons

One of my earliest film watching memories alongside “Gremlins” aswell as my fondest, this tale of Peter (John Ritter), a fantasy game designer who is pulled into a time of magic and dragons, while soon finding his mind trapped in the body of the dragon Gorbash, while tasked with joining the quest to stop the evil wizard Ommadon (James Earl Jones).

Being a big fan of fantasy movies (something that will no doubt become only clearer with this list) this film really appealed to me as a kid, especially as it was one of the few to actually feature dragons, something usually missing from my other favourite fantasy movies and seeing how the rotoscope look of Ralph Bakshi’s “Lord of the Rings” freaked me out, this film was in many ways the replacement for that Tolken void it left me with, even more so considering how both feature an epic quest and an assortment of fantastical creatures. Even more interesting when looking at the film as an adult is the ideas about the war between magic and science which is currently waging in this world, with magic starting to fail due to humanity putting their belief into science.

Sadly this film is yet to receive any kind of re-release treatment, meaning that to get hold of a copy you will have to either stump and pay someone’s inflated prices for a VHS copy or alternatively find a bootleg or steaming copy, which occasionally show up in predictably variable quality.

Krull

While on the surface it might seem like yet another fantasy movie, this one also has quite a few elements of sci-fi thrown into the mix, much like “Yor: Hunter of the Future” with the film being set on the planet Krull, which is invaded by the entity known solely as “The Beast” who travels the galaxy in his mountain-like spaceship called the Black Fortress, with his laser staff welding henchmen “The Slayers”. Having kidnapped Princess Lyssa (Lysette Anthony) on her wedding day, her would be husband Colwyn (Ken Marshall) armed with the mystical weapon “the Glaive” he sets out to rescue her with a mis-matched band of heroes which include a clumsy magician Ergo (David Battley), Cyclops Rell (Bernard Bresslaw), Ynyr the Old One (Freddie Jones), aswell as a band of fugitives (whose number include a young Liam Neeson).

For some reason this film always makes me think of “The Princess Bride” which honestly despite its cult following never rung with me the same way that this film does, while it also manages some surprisingly scary moments such as the pursuit by giant crystal spider, while director Peter Yates has zero quarms about killing off many of your favourite characters, many in truly heartbreaking ways as is especially the case with Rell. All in all a surprising movie from the same man who also gave us the Cliff Richard Cheesefest “Summer Holiday”.

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep / Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster

True I could have gone with one of several Godzilla movies for this spot, especially considering how big a part of my childhood film watching (not to mention my adult film watching) I had to resist the urge just to fill all six spots with Godzilla movies. So why this one and not say the ultimate monster smackdown of “Destroy All Monsters” or even the flying Godzilla antics of “Godzilla vs. Hedorah”?

No instead I have decided to opt for the film which started a lifelong obsession, which see’s four friends ship wrecked on a mysterious island by the giant shrimp Ebirah, were they soon find a organisation called “The Red Bamboo” has enslaved the local natives who worship another Toho classic Mothra, with the Red Bamboo using the natives to help them make heavy water for their own purposes, aswell as a chemical which prevent Ebirah from attacking their ships. Luckily for the friends they find Godzilla who with the help of a lightning rod is soon awoken and soon sets about dealing with both the Red Bamboo and Ebirah in a number of memorable battles.

The first of five Godzilla movie to be directed by Jun Fukuda, who would later direct another of my favourites “Godzilla vs. Gigan” Frequently over looked by some fans a reason which has never been clear to me, especially when it plays out even on its most basic level like a fun adventure movie and serves as a perfect introduction to Godzilla. Ironic then that this film was originally written as a King Kong movie, with the wonderful title “Operation Robinson Crusoe: King Kong vs. Ebirah”, only for Toho to switch Kong with Godzilla, yet leave most of the script the same, meaning that Godzilla shows some truly random behaviour including the use of boulders to destroy the Red Bamboo Base and drawing strength from electricity. It still remains though one of the more fun Godzilla adventures and the perfect starting point for kick starting your kids own Godzilla obsession.

Willow

While like most kid I was obsessed with “Star Wars” growing up, it would be George Lucas’s other world, which honestly I held more dearly and that was the one I was shown here in which the evil Queen Bavmorda (Jean Marsh) ruthlessly hunts for the prophesied baby Elora who will bring about her downfall and whose makeshift raft washes up on the shore near the Nelwyn village were farmer and aspiring conjurer Willow (Warwick Davis) lives. Realising the danger the child brings with it, the village soon nominate Willow to return the child to the world of Daikini (humans), only to soon discover that he has been tasked with being her guardian and tracking down sorceress Fin Raziel to bring down Queen Baymorda, while gaining help from the boastful master swordsman Madmartigan (Val Kilmer) and a pair of bickering brownies Rool and Franjean (Kevin Pollak and Rick Overton).

Owing more than a slight debt to “The Hobbit” seeing how both Wilow and Bilbo are everymen who have no intention of going of on an adventure only to find one thrust upon them, while at the same time equally sharing a number of similarities to Lucas’s own “Star Wars” ensemble, something which I should really explore further at some point. Still the film has the same fun sense of adventure that “Star Wars” does only transferring it to a medieval setting, while Davis proves himself more than capable of playing the leading man in a rare starring role which doesn’t require him to be under heavy prosthetics, with his grumpy antics and constant rants about responsible parenting, which include him criticising Madmartigan for daring to engage in a high speed carriage chase surprisingly never growing old thanks to the madcap heroics of Kilmer’s Madmartigan balancing things out. Equally of note is the fact that the film features one of my all-time favourite villains, the skull mask wearing General Kael (Pat Roach), who is badass until the end, while I can’t help but feel also helped influence the design of the Lord of Bones in “Game of Thrones” who interestingly also wears a similar skull mask.

I would include “Legend” on this list, but so many of the reasons I love that movie are generally covered by this film and “Krull”, but still why not show your kids all three and blow their little minds, while no doubt making them much more rounded people or just setting them on the path of being fantasy fans which is equally no bad thing.

The Goonies

Honestly I don’t know one child of the 80’s who did not want to be one of “The Goonies”. Hell even now I still want to be part of this group of misfits, who set off in search of the treasure of the pirate One-Eyed Willie, while trying to elude the criminal family the Fratellis, led by the grotesque and dominating Ma Fratelli (Anne Ramsey). These characters weren’t just characters in a film to me, but thanks to the way the film is shot, it felt that I was part of this group of possibly the coolest kids ever as they went off on this crazy treasure hunt.

Still there is something about this adventure which I still get a kick out of all these later and perhaps it is down to how these aren’t just another group of smart mouthed kids getting one over on a bunch of slow witted adults or bumbling crooks (although the Fratellis are hardly criminal masterminds), but instead they are essentially a realistic bunch of kids with their own quirks, who do the same things that I did when I was their age, such as picking on their chubby friend Chunk (Jeff Cohen) by forcing him to do things such as the truffle shuffle. Equally it could be down to the fact that director Richard Donner is never afraid of putting them frequently in real danger, be it facing one of the many booby traps which line the way to the treasure of One-Eyed Willie, but also at the hands of the Fratellis who not only kidnap Chunk but we also have scenes of Ma even threatening them with a gun, something which was a lot more common in the 80’s as also seen in “ET” though thankfully these scenes haven’t been erased with the remastered versions, like the FBI agents suddenly carrying walkie talkies in ET.

There is however for all the hijinks and questionable family entertainment (the running joke of Chunk and the dead guy comes to mind) the film does contain a lot of heart, such the bond that Chunk forms with the deformed Fratelli brother Sloth (John Matuszak) or Andy (Kerri Green) making out with the wrong brother, all making for magical childhood moments, as the more madcap ones such as Data’s gadgets or the group shaking the pipes under the city, leading to exploding toilets and randomly disappearing shower taps, which even now continue to amuse me as much as they did the first time, proving that some adventures are just timeless.

Yellow Submarine

It’s kind of ironic that the best Beatles movie is one which only features them in a contractually required cameo at the end. Still set in a psychedelic wonderland known simply as Pepperland, were the music hating blue meanies have taken over forcing the FAB four to come to the rescue in the titular yellow submarine.

True this might sound like one big acid trip, which is no doubt one of the main influences for those involved in the making of the sole animated Beatles feature, especially so when judging by its psychedelic styling and Terry Gilliam esq cut and paste animation style. Still for Beatles fans they can rejoice at sheer amount of Beatles tracks on offer, as the film makes regular stop offs at the various sea’s (Sea of Time, Sea of Science etc) on the way to Pepperland, with each one essentially an excuse to showcase tracks in what could almost be described as music videos, much like Michael Jackson would attempt with the bonkers ego-fest which was “Moonwalker”, yet here they genuinely feel like part of the story, if you can get past random moments such as the Beatles suddenly aging before bursting into “When I’m Sixty-Four”.

Packed with random Beatles references such as Pepperland being protected by Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and the use of giant green apples as weapons by the meanies (a reference to the “Apple Records” music label), aswell as utilising a great selection of Beatles songs it is a fun trip for even the most casual Beatles fans, aswell as being a key film on the path to animation being recognised as a serious art form, while working on such a level that it appeals to both adults and kids alike, while generally being a handy piece of Beatles propaganda to get the kids interested in their music, which considering that all my favourite Beatles songs are from around this era of their career, makes it hard to deny that it doesn’t work.

So there have my six films I would recommend you show your kids if you havn’t already, but even now I can still think of more films which could have made the list, so don’t be surprised if this is followed by another list at some point. Still what movies are you ensuring are passed on to the kids?

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Django

March 13, 2013, 1:51 pm

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≪ Previous: Six Movies You Really Have To Show The Kids

Title: Django

Director: Sergio Corbucci
Released: 1966
Staring: Franco Nero, Eduardo Fajardo, José Bódalo, Loredana Nusciak, Ángel Álvarez, Rafael Albaicín, Jimmy Douglas, Simón Arriaga

Plot: Dragging a coffin behind him, the drifter and gunslinger Django (Nero) makes his way into a desert town, only to soon finds himself caught in the middle of a war between two rival fractions as a group of Yankees lead by the sadistic Major Jackson (Farjardo) face off against a group of Mexican bandits lead by General Hugo Rodriguez (Bódalo).

Review: With the release of “Django Unchained”, Quentin Tarantino’s loving homage to spaghetti westerns and the work of this films’ director Corbucci it is unsurprising that it has received a new burst of interest as of late. Still even without the Tarantino effect the film more than stands on its own merits, especially when its popularity spawned over thirty unofficial sequels which have been confirmed of the rumoured one hundred, while finally getting an official sequel in 1987 with “Django Strikes Again”.

Opening with Django dragging his trademark coffin , as he walks though the desert, as the now iconic Django theme tune plays, it is possibly one of my favourite film openings as with this simple setup we are given essentially everything we need to know about this character, especially when Nero holds himself so well as a brooding badass and this is even before he has even done anything, while Corbucci ensures the tone of the film is essentially set with his opening, as he follows the iconic wandering Django sequence with the flogging of local prostitute Maria (Nusciak) by a group of Mexican bandits, whose assumed rescue by a group of Yankees is cut short by their sudden desire to burn her on the cross, tieing in nicely with their crimson klu klux klan hoods, the similarities of which are never acknowledged despite their general attitude to the local population is scarily similar. At the same time these hoods could also be attiributed to the popular belief that the extras playing these masked Yankee’s Corbucci had deemed to ugly to be shown on film, while at the same time being unable to find any other extras, due to a surprising shortage at the time of filming.

Needless to say when the film was released it soon gained a reputation as being one of the most violent movies ever made, ensuring that it was refused a certificate in the UK until 1993 were it finally gained an 18 certificate, which was later reduced to a 15, elsewhere the ear cutting sequence, reportedly forgotten to be cut by Corbucci, has ensured that the film remains banned in Sweden. While this violent reputation might seem tame in comparison to some films now released, this is still a bloody western, as Corbucci ensures that the film features a suitably high body count, with most shootouts, usually ending with bodies lining the streets, even more when Django revels the Gatling gun which he is hiding in the coffin, whose true significance outside of hiding this weapon and being a handy place to store stolen gold is never really revealed and left me wondering if there was some subtle symbolism I was missing.

For a modern audience the violence might not seem overly shocking as Corbuci films his shootouts much like “The Wild Bunch”......gratuitously bloody, while the only noticeable moments of gore being an ear sliced off and feed to its previous owner (a possible influence on “Reservoir Dogs” perhaps?) and Django having his hands crushed via a combination of a rifle butt aswell as being trampled under the hooves of the Mexican steeds, after a double cross doesn’t play out in his favour. Still despite this, it never feels like violence for the sake of it and only adds to the tone of the film, much like the permantly muddy surroundings the characters find themselves in, in a welcome break from the more traditionally desert associated with the genre and one used to its full potential by Corbucci.

Meanwhile Corbucci’s world view for this is very much black and white, with the villians being suitably odious, as is especially the case with Major Jackson and his men, who think nothing of using their Mexican captives in their human shooting range, while generally only caring about their own goals and none to fondly about anyone who is not a fellow Yankee. What is frustrating here though is that Corbucci introduces Major Jackson which would appear to be a fantastic entourage of henchmen, only to then kill them off with their first encounter with Django, rather than taking the more traditional route of eking their inevitable demise out over the course of the film. Still what remains true is that the path of revenge is never straight path and that could not be truer here, especially when Django finds himself teaming up with the bandits to lead a raid on the Yankee’s base, while also taking possibly the most roundabout routes to taking his revenge on Major Jackson who we find out is also responsible for killing Django’s wife.

The casting throughout is incredibly spot on, with Nero in particular embodying the role, even if he originally wasn’t Corbucci’s first choice having originally wanted to cast Mark Damon in the role, he more than owns role so that even though there would be other Django’s in the years which followed its release both in a homage and unofficial sequel form Nero is definitive article as this film proves. Elsewhere Farjardo makes for a great villain, with his leading man looks proving the perfect disguise for his true sadistic nature, while Bódalo makes for an interesting and certainly more frenzied counter, yet none the less dangerous General Rodriguez.

Even though Tarantino might have crafted his own original vision for Django, the original still remains a film worth hunting down, even if you’re like myself and not typically a fan of the Spaghetti Western genre, as the quick pacing, bloody action scenes and colorful characters make it an enjoyable watch and left me keen to check out the other additions to the series aswell as the other films with Corbucci directed, as Django is one character far too colourful and memorable to be contained to one film, as undoubtedly the legacy has shown.

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The Prophecy

March 19, 2013, 1:56 pm

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≪ Previous: Django

Title: The Prophecy

Director: Gregory Widen
Released: 1995
Starring: Christopher Walken, Elias Koteas, Virginia Madsen, Eric Stoltz, Viggo Mortensen, Amanda Plummer, Moriah “Shining Dove” Snyder, Adam Goldberg

Plot: The angel Gabriel has come to Earth to collect a soul, which could end the stalemated war in Heaven. In a bid to stop him, another angel Simon (Stoltz) has hidden the soul in a little girl called Mary (Snyder), while ex-priest turned cop Thomas (Koteas) is now tasked with protecting her.

Review: Perhaps not one of the better known franchises, yet this hasn’t stopped “The Prophecy” from spawning four sequels, though for one reason or another it has taken me until now to watch any of them something which only surprises me further when I consider the fact that it features Christopher Walken in full blown villain mode. Alas it would seem that perhaps I shouldn’t have been so excited to see this one, especially when it is possibly one of the most irritating films as of late that I have had the misfortune of viewing.

Now I should start by highlighting that I’m no theology scholar as will no doubt only be highlighted further throughout this review, with the closest knowledge I have on the subject being derived from those two sessions of Sunday school I attended and general religious pop facts, which could be another reason for my dislike of this film, seeing how most of the people who seem to like this film on IMDB all seem to know a lot more about religion than me, which lets face it isn't hard. Then again it could equally be because I like things like logical plotting and likable characters, both of which are seemingly not present here, as most of the time I could not make head or tail of what the hell was supposed to be happening in this film.

Starting off positively enough with the prospect of trench coat clad angels on earth and even more so when we see Simon kicking Gabriel’s right hand Angel out of a window, which is badass enough until it is then topped by the same angel Uzziel getting hit by a seemingly runaway car and pinned against a wall! Sadly this is essentially the high point of the film, meaning that the remaining 90 mins really feels a whole lot longer than it should.

Needless to say I don’t think that I would have made it through this one had it not been for Walken who here is on great form even the material stinks and perhaps because of this he seems to be trying to make the most of his role, as every scene he has in this film either has him chewing the scenery or making even the smallest lines of dialogue as darkly funny as possible. This of course while rocking one of his more iconic looks with his pancake makeup and slicked back jet black hair, which only adds to his villainy which seems to literaly ooze from him. Still with everything that is wrong with the film, it easy to see what attracted Walken to playing the character of Gabriel, a role it would seem he enjoyed so much that he reprised it for the next two sequels, but it is the sheer drive of this character which makes him so intresting, as not once does he ever seem to be deterred from claiming the soul, which has been stored in Mary’s body as no matter how much he is shot, beaten up or even blown up in exploding trailers, he continually refuses to give up. This however is not to say that he doesn’t get distracted along the way, as we get random scenes of his hanging out with a group of kids at Mary’s school while he randomly makes them take turns blowing a trumpet for no real reason. Equally baffling is his constant need to have a sidekick, first of all with Jerry (Goldberg) his kind of helper zombie, thanks to Gabriel keeping him in a state of limbo since they met at an earlier point when Jerry had tried to kill himself, forcing to walk the earth in a state of semi rot. However when Jerry bites the dust, Gabriel is almost immediately on the lookout for a replacement sidekick, yet this constant need for support is never explained, especially when he is so seemingly capable of handling things on his own.

Still such illogical plotting is one of the main issues of this film, especially when it the film turns into a boring road trip movie for if there is one guaranteed way to loose my intrest, it is to fill you film with shots of people driving in the desert for no purpose, which is what we get with Thomas trying to get Mary to a Native American reservation so that they can free the soul trapped in Mary’s body, which I thought was kind of strange, seeing how they make such a big deal about Thomas suffering visions of angels at war while being ordained as a priest, aswell as suffering other similar visions and shown frequently quoting scripture in his droning voice over. So with such an emphasis on Catholicism why go to an Indian reservation and not a church? Does the Catholic Church only handle exorcisms and not your run of the mill rouge soul extraction? Equally comical is the soul that is trapped in Mary’s body, which it would seem director Widen was not content with just noting as belonging to a bad man, but instead goes the whole hog by making it the soul of a Colonel responsible for numerous war crimes including most bizarrely cannibalism, while attempting to back up the supposed evil of this character with grainy footage of the Colonel standing next to a number of impaled victims with a sheepish expression on his face.

My other main gripe here is the sheer amount of unlikable characters, which really says a lot when the villain is the only real likable one here, which is more down to the awesomeness of Walken than anything to do with the writing, while outside of Eric Stoltz’s Simon the only other memorable character is the almost cameo appearance of Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer, who is almost unrecognisable here as it is a role completely unlike anything else I have seen him play, as his sneering appearance fuelled with such manic energy that his brief 15 minutes in the film, lasts with you even when the film has ended while being one of the more fondly remembered moments of the film, which lets face it there are not many of here.

It is strange to think that Widen, earlier in his career would also be responsible for writing two of my favourite films with both “Backdraft” and “Highlander”, especially when the writing and general plotting so sloppy here, so much that an epic idea of the battle between Heaven and Hell ends up coming off looking like a minor squabble especially when his angel characters, supposedly capable of raining down fire and brimstone, frequently seem impotent with their powers, which when used seem more like base level telepathy than the low levels of any kind of great power. Sadly this is a film which promises many things, but fails to deliver on anything more than a low level theology musings, yet at the same time I’m left wondering how much worse the sequels could be, as after seeing this one it is hard to see how much worse they can get.

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The Losers

March 24, 2013, 3:59 pm

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≪ Previous: The Prophecy

Title: The Losers

Director: Sylvain White
Released: 2010
Starring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Óscar Jaenada, Jason Patric, Holt McCallany

Plot: Presumed to be dead after being double crossed by the mysterious Max (Patric), Clay (Morgan) and his special forces team nicknamed "The Losers" are given a chance for revenge when they are tracked down by the mysterious Aisha (Saldana), a beautiful operative with her own agenda.

Review: With the key comic properties like Spiderman and Superman now essentially being tied up either by the major studios or Marvel themselves thanks to the success of their own Marvel studios a gamble which it is safe to say has more than paid off with their Phase one series of films. So with the public demand in the last few years for comic book movies and the studios as always looking for any way to milk a trend, it is hardly surprising that more indie comics have started seeing big screen adaptations, a trend which it’s safe to say that this film belongs in.

Based on the comic book series of the same name, released by DC Comic’s as part of their Vertigo imprint, which also serves as a home to fellow indie favourites Sandman, 100 bullets and Fables, while also providing movie fodder on more than one occasion with Hellblazer (which became “Constantine”), A History of Violence and V for Vendetta all being released via Vertigo. Still the series is hardly known outside of comic book fans, making it an usual choice for a film adaptation and meaning that upon its original release, most movie goers didn’t even realise it was a comic book movie.

Like the A-team on crack, this group of ex-special forces operatives, each bring their own special set of skills, while working under Clay’s leadership, a man guided by his own moral compass and one which soon leads to their attempted murder by Max. Making up his team of self-titled losers are

Jensen (Evans) – Intelligence specialist and computer hacker, aswell as the groups oddball and comic relief.
Pooch (Short) – transport specialist, so if it rolls or flies he is all over it, aswell as the owner of a dog bobblehead, whch somehow makes it into every vehicle he gets behind the controls of.
Cougar (Jaenada)– The almost permanently mute sharpshooter with an affection for his cowboy hat.
Roque (Elba) – Demolitions

While the group make up might hardly be anything new, the way in which they choose to operate, acting like a group of superheroes who don’t actually have any superpowers, while using largely guerrilla tactics with a heavy dose of humour to get the job done, with this intoxicating blend really helping them to stand out from the groups which came before them. Aisha meanwhile plays the wild card of the group with her dubious sense of alliance to the group, while marking the start of Saldana establishing herself as an action heroine, something she would continue with “Colombiana” a character none to dissimilar to the character of Aisha, especially seeing how both are more than capable of looking after themselves, let alone packing their own impressive armoury of weapons as especially seen here, as she proves herself more than capable of holding her own with the boys on more than one occasion, as highlighted by a couple of room trashing fistfights with Clay while reaching a pinnacle of badassery when she appears suddenly welding a rocket launcher under one arm at the finale.

Meanwhile the losers themselves are capable of unleashing their own brand of hell, even if they are generally more low key about it, with any outlandish action heroics kept to mainly to the opening and finale which also include this shining moment of badassery from Cougar, which makes me wonder why more people haven’t pick up on this film.

The rest of the time, they tend to stick to more low key infiltration and engaging in the occasional round of military grade grand theft auto, while director White continually gives the impression that he is atleast trying to do something which hasn’t been seen 100 times before. Still it is an infectious mix of comedy and action which White brings to the table, most of it via Jensen a character which Evans is clearly having a ball playing, as he always has a wise crack no matter how dire his situation gets, while more randomly even managing to convince a group of security guards that he has the power of mind Bullets!

The casting here is great while especially spot on with Morgan, making a great lead for the group with his gruff charm and gravelly voice and after seeing him previously as The Comedian in “Watchmen” it is nice to see him playing a more lighter character, that you don’t feel so guilty for liking, which was always the problem with the Comedian. What fails though with his casting in this role is the unlikely romance his character has with Aisha, which while important to the storyline still comes off as clumsily handled. Elsewhere Patric is suitably villainous as Max, always sharply dressed while carrying a dark sense of humour as he argues with his henchmen over mistakenly interpreted nods, after said henchman throws one of his scientists off a roof, while equally prone to random acts of violence as he shoots a girl carrying his umbrella for allowing the sun to momentarily shine on him.

For one reason or another this film never got its due upon its release and like the equally overlooked “Shoot Em Up” has been left for the action fans to rediscover, now it has been largely forgotten by most, which only makes it more of a shame when this film is so much fun from start to finish, while giving us a group whom I would have loved to have seen further adventures with, something I seriously doubt we will be seeing anytime soon, so for now we might aswell just enjoy it for what it is. A one shot curiosity and a snapshot of what could have been, but one worth giving a look none the less.

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Police Story 3: Supercop

March 29, 2013, 2:16 am

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≪ Previous: The Losers

Title: Police Story 3: Supercop

Director: Stanley Tong
Released: 1992
Starring: Jackie Chan, Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Cheung, Yuen Wah, Kenneth Tsang, Bill Tung, Lo Lieh, Josephine Koo, Kelvin Wong, Phillip Chan

Plot: Insp. Chan (Chan) is sent undercover in mainland China, to break up a drug smuggling ring being run by drug lord Chailbat (Tsang) and his henchman Panther (Wah) who Chan is forced to break out of prision in order to infiltrate the ring, while reciving support from Interpol agent Jessica Yang (Yeoh)

Review: While intended as a continuation of Chan’s legendry “Police Story” series, this film instead is more of a showcase for Michelle Yeoh, who made her return to acting with this film, after taking a traditional leave of retirement after she married the head of the Hong Kong film production company “The D&B Group” Dickson Poon. Luckily for her fans the marriage didn’t last and upon her divorce from Poon in 1992 she made her return to acting, starting with this film which it’s safe to say made for a memorable return.

Still if anyone was to provide a female counterpart to Chan it would for my money have to be Yeoh, who throughout her career established herself as one of the key female action stars in Hong Kong cinema alongside the likes of Anita Mui and Maggie Cheung, who would all appear together in Yeoh’s next film “The Heroic Trio” while Cheung also appears here for the final time in the series as Chan’s long suffering girlfriend May. Here Yeoh handles the majority of the martial arts scenes, as film is more of a heroic gunplay role for Chan, outside of a showcase fight scene at the start of the film and during the climatic showdown on top of a moving train in what is possibly one of the most action packed finales ever!

While the idea of Chan in a heroic gunplay role might seem like a strange one especially after his horrible attempt at portraying a tough guy in the “The Protector” whose commercial and critical failure did at least provided the catalyst for the original “Police Story”, a film which many including myself regard as Chan’s best film. Atleast here he keeps a fun edge to proceedings with his usual slapstick antics, which is always a surreal thing to see in the midst of a heated gunfight, yet Chan’s charm as always makes it work, while Yeoh seems equally happy to join in as the two make for such a fun double act it only makes it more of a shame that they haven’t made more films together.

Equally still present is Chan’s legendry stunt work, as he continues here to find new ways to almost kill himself, with the highlight being the scenes were he hangs from a rope ladder underneath Chailbat’s helicopter during the climax. The climax to this film alone is worth checking out the film for, as it is shot by Tong with such flawless flow it is literally jaw dropping to see how he continually adds to it starting with Chan trying to push a runaway van up a hill, before breaking into a car chase and finally a fight on top of speeding train while containing not a hint of CGI which peppers current action films, as only further highlighted by the traditional credits outtake roll, which this time also gets the added bonus of being sound tracked to Tom Jones singing “Kung Fu Fighting” and Devo’s “Supercop”. This time though Chan is not alone when it comes to pulling off thrilling stunts, as Yeoh proves than willing to do her own stunt work which includes jumping a motorcycle onto a moving train, which only adds to what is already one hell of a comeback movie for her.

Stepping away from the director’s chair after directing the first two films, Chan here hands the reigns over to Tong, for surprisingly only his second feature film after his self-funded debut “Stone Age Warriors” yet despite this he proves himself to have the same eye for action as Chan, with this film marking the start of a productive relationship between them, with Tong being responsible for several of Chan’s best films including his breakthrough Hollywood movie “Rumble In The Bronx”. This change in director doesn’t greatly alter the Police story format, though Tong does have more of an interest in scenes of epic destruction as highlighted by destruction of a fortified drug production lab, which is blown to splinters thanks to a handful of well-aimed missiles and over the top explosions. Equally what Tong brings to the film is a slightly darker direction than seen in the first two films, mainly through drug lord Chailbat and his henchman Panther who are not opposed to random acts of violence and actually provide Chan with a viable threat throughout, even if Chailbat becomes slightly OTT by the finale when he kidnaps May while constantly sneering at Chan from his helicopter. Sadly when the Chan and Yang have their cover blown it less of a dramatic event as you would expect, especially when Tong builds up the suspense so well over the course of the film, it end up feeling slightly anti-climatic.

While Chan these days might be less willing to put his body on the line, which is equally not too surprising seeing how he is as of the time of writing this now almost 60 and those bones don’t heal as quick as they used to, something seen with the noticeable toning down of his stunt work as he concentrates more on making films in the Hollywood system, making it perhaps more fun to revisit these earlier films, especially when this another strong entry in the “Police Story” franchise even though thanks to its UK title of just “Supercop” a lot of people still think that the series ended at part 2, not realising that film along with “First Strike” are part of the same series. Still despite not featuring much in the way of martial arts from Chan, it is still a fun outing and one which only helped to further Yeoh’s profile as she set out on the path to becoming very much a star in her own right.

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Fish Story

April 1, 2013, 12:25 am

≫ Next: The 36th Chamber of Shaolin AKA: Shaolin Master Killer

≪ Previous: Police Story 3: Supercop

Title: Fish Story

Director: Yoshihiro Makamura

Released: 2009
Starring: Atsushi Ito, Kengo Kora, Mikako Tabe, Gaku Hamada, Mirai Moriyama, Nao Omoroi, Kiyohiko Shibukawa, Toshimitsu Okawa, Hidekazu Mashima, Noriko Eguchi, Takashi Yamanaka, Kazuki Namioka, Mai Takahashi, Kenjiro Ishimaru

Plot: Gerkirin a rock band from 1975 who having had no success, record one last song “Fish Story” before the band splits up, which years later could be the key to saving the world from its impending destruction from a meteor on a collision course.

Review: There are certain films which frequently remind me of the diffrences between the films being produced for the Asian film market and those being produced by Hollywood and this would especially being one of those films. A quick look at the plot summery alone is enough to confirm it, for can you see any major studio getting behind a film were the Earth is saved from a giant meteor by a song? No as “Armageddon” proved they would more likely get behind the film were they can spend millions of dollars giving Michael Bay another reason to make things go boom in some spectacular fashion or another.

What we get here though is something not only free of those usual cliché’s but altogether more special, as director Makamura not only pokes fun at the Michael Bay approach with mention of a failed attempt to stop the meteor by the Americans to detonate nuclear bombs on the Meteor called “Operation Armageddon”, while he also breaks the film into what could almost be seen as four short and seemingly unconnected films, as the film crosses multiple time frames from 1975 to 2012. Starting with timid driver (Hamada) being told a prophecy about him meeting a girl who will save the world, as he scouts for girls with his friends. Next the film gets a martial arts twist as a ferry cook (Moriyama) channels his inner Steven Segal to give us what is almost “Under Siege” on a budget as he saves schoolgirl (Tabe) from a group of gun toting hijackers. Finally we have the story of how Gerkirin, a band trying to kickstart a punk revolution a year before the Sex Pistols, while also explaining how they came up with the song “Fish Story”. Inbetween these seemingly unconnected shorts the film cuts back to the present were three strangers meet in a record shop discussing the song, while with five hours to impact the rest of Japan has fled to Mount Fuji in an attempt to escape the impending tsunami scenario, with the last hope resting with an attempt being launched by of all counties India….who’d have thought they’d have a space program, but then I thought the same for Australia until I saw “Iron Sky”.

While it frequently feels like these segments are unconnected, especially with the song being the only connection for one of these segments, you are left to trust in Makamura, who thankfully delivers a satisfying conclusion that confirms that no matter how random these segments might seem, they do in fact all link together and more often than not in the most surprising of ways aswell as thankfully none of the smugness that M. Night Shyamalan tends to bring with his twists. With Makamura it is more a case of presenting the maths and revealing the links that were always there and more often than not staring us right in our face, its just we didn’t know it.

The real strength though of this film though is how simply it tells, what could easily have been turned into a complex and confusing mess, while equally staring true to its main theme of fear which runs throughout, be it the fear of the end of the world via the ever approaching meteor, the fear of never achieving a dream or just the fear of being killed by a bunch of machine gun toting terrorists. It is also a surprising theme for a film filled with so many naturally comedic moments, let alone frequent genre shifts the likes of which I haven’t seen since “Save The Green Planet” with science fiction, kung fu and supernatural thriller to name but a few included within the films framework with a colourful and largely likeable mix of characters helps make it a fun if incredibly strange ride.

The main problem here though, is not so much the frequent genre changes or leaps in time, but more so the unbalanced nature of the segments with Moriyama’s kung fu antics easily stealing the show, thanks to his real-life background training as a ballet dancer, making his despatch of the bad guys only all the more graceful to watch. Elsewhere the final segment about the song being recorded is greatly helped by the raw enthusiasm of the band, which unlike so many movie bands actually have the feel of a proper band, rather than a group of actors thrown together, while the song which is supposedly going to save the world is thankfully catchy enough, so that you don’t mind hearing it on what feels like a continuous loop during this segment.

While it might seem out there (and it is) this is a simple enough film to follow if you focus on one segment at a time, rather than worrying about the larger picture and how it all links together, as like I stated at the start of this review, this truly is the sort of movie that you would never see coming from Hollywood and perhaps it is this uniqueness which makes it so much fun, while certainly helped by some strong writing and intriguing plotting, which ensures that you genuinely don’t know which way the story will go next, making it one of the more original let alone downright strange movies that I have seen as of late.

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The 36th Chamber of Shaolin AKA: Shaolin Master Killer

April 3, 2013, 2:01 pm

≫ Next: Inbred

≪ Previous: Fish Story

Title: The 36^th Chamber of Shaolin A.K.A.: Shaolin Master KillerDirector: Chia-Liang Liu
Released: 1978
Starring: Liu Chia-Hui, Lo Lieh, Wang Yu, Yu Yang, Hsu Shao-Chiang, Wu Hang-Sheng

Plot:A young student named San Te (Chai-Hui) is drawn by his activist teacher into the local rebellion against the Manchu government. The government officials suppress the uprising and liquidate the school, killing friends and family members as well. San Te seeks vengeance. Wounded in an attack by Manchu henchmen, he flees to the Shaolin temple and seeks training in kung fu. Initially the Buddhist monks reject him, since he is an outsider, but the chief abbot takes mercy on the young man and lets him stay. One year later, he begins his martial arts training in the temple's 35 chambers.

Review: Widely regarded as being one of the greatest kung fu movies ever made, it is along with “King Boxer” aka “Five Fingers of Death” equally one of the most influential setting the style for the films which followed in its wake, with director Liu’s films impressing arthouse audiences years before the likes of “Once Upon A Time In China” and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” convinced the critics that the genre deserved closer inspection.

While the plot itself might not be anything particularly original seeing how it’s that classic tale, were the wronged man sets out on the path of revenge, engaging in an elaborate training regime before finally facing off against those who wronged him. Formalic it might be, but then you would be hard pressed to find any kung fu movie from this period which wasn’t. Still what sets this apart from the others is the focus on San Te’s training, which forms the main part of the film, which the kind of thing I can hardly see Hollywood doing such a thing with any of the summer blockbusters, yet here it proves to be a highly effective story device.

As with any good revenge movie, the path of revenge is never straightforward, as is the case here with San Te initially being turned down for training by the temple monks, seeing how he is seen as an outsider, but after a year at the temple he is finally given his chance to train where he is presented with a choice of where to start with the 35 chambers of Shaolin (no this not a typo as what the 36^th chamber is, is revealed over the course of the film), with each chamber containing a different discipline of increasing toughness, with the 35^th being the toughest, which of course is where the hasty San Te chooses to start only to predictably have his ass handed to him by one of the senior monks. However rather than give up he decides to start with the 1^stchamber and work his way through the chambers and so starts the real meat of the film, as San Te completes each challenge, starting with the water cross, were to fall in the water means that your forced to dry your clothes before you can enter the dining hall, meanwhile the limited food is consumed by your fellow monks who can complete it. While this might seem like a random task to complete it is the scenes in which San Te tries to figure it out which are truly engrossing to watch, like each task he completes from fetching water and painting fences, which were memorably lifted by “The Karate Kid”.

Still this film is not all completing tasks with a questionable relationship to learning martial arts, as once San Te gets into the later chambers that he is given tasks with an increasing focus on martial arts, which also leads to him supposedly creating the three section staff, as a way of beating one his fellow monks who questioning his skills, after a rapid rise through the chambers, challenges to him a duel.

What is great about this film though is the journeyit takes us on, with San Te transforming from an angry and quick tempered youth at the start of the film to the poise and serious demeanour to a Shaolin master, especially when he return to his village to teach his common man kung fu so that they can defend themselves against the regular attack from the Manchu regime, a belief he is even willing to sacrifice his position in the Shoalin temple to follow, after proposing it as a 36^th chamber, an idea which doesn’t’ sit too well with the high monks and soon sees him thrown out of the temple, a plot device which essentially ensures that he is forced to face those who wronged him in a final showdown.

The martial arts skills on show here are impressive to say the least, starting with the opening credit exhibition sequence a much used trademark of director Liu, who also assembles some highly memorable fight sequences combining scenes of traditional kung fu and weapon use, both which stand well next to the standout training sequences. It is of course these training sequences which the film rests upon, as it takes the unusual step of making them the main focus, when other films would treat them as having more throwaway value, yet here they only add to the journey we follow San Te on, which again is only further helped by the likeability of Chai-Hui who is completely believable in the part and marks himself out from this early performance as a true star in the making.

Unquestionably worthy of it's cult status, aswell as being viewed as such an important film within the genre, which sadly has only in the last couple of years along with "King Boxer" finally been given the release it deserves, while equally essential for the established far as well as making the perfect starting point for newcomers to the genre

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Inbred

April 9, 2013, 10:46 am

≫ Next: Chillerama

≪ Previous: The 36th Chamber of Shaolin AKA: Shaolin Master Killer

Title: Inbred

Director: Alex Chandon

Released: 2011
Starring: Seamus O’Neill, Jo Hartley, James Doherty, Mat Fraser, Emily Booth, James Burrows, Neil Leiper, Chris Waller, Nadine Rose Mulkerrin, Terry Haywood, Damien Lloyd-Davies

Plot: Following two care workers and their four delinquent charges, as they head to a remote part of the Yorkshire countryside to the seemingly sleepy village of Mortlake, which is seemingly so far off the beaten track that it just about makes it onto the map, which is just how the villagers like it. Despite a questionable greeting at the local pub “The Dirty Hole” were they meet the colourful landlord Jim (O’Neill) and some of the equally colourful locals the group are soon setting about the task of salvaging copper from an abandoned railway. However after a violent encounter with one group of the locals the group, suddenly find themselves less welcomed than they thought, while also the star attraction as the village entertainment.

Review: Having been brought up on the rain soaked coasts of Cornwall (just put your finger on the very end of England and your in Cornwall) this film carries a strange sense of familiarity for me, especially with its setting which is introduced during the opening titles of seemingly non threatening shots of the countryside are only given a sense of creeping dread thanks to Dave Andrews soundtrack which finally gives us a new horror theme music, than just trying to grab the audiences attention with some nu-metal track. Equally refreshing is the choice to set the film in the Yorkshire countryside were the broad northern accent of the locals makes a much needed change from the usual Londoner drawl and cockney rhyming slang, which is worrying becoming a central element of British horror, something which will hopefully be abolished in the wake of this film, as I could happily go for more northern based horror.

A highly inventive movie, which while it might not exactly break the mould when it comes to the setup, with the seemingly questionable locals unsurprisingly turning out to be a crazed bunch of psychotic inbreds (think redneck or yokel) or the group taking no time to upset said locals, even if this time the trigger point is less clear than usual. Were the fun comes from through is the sheer inventiveness once the crazy is unleashed, for while this might have all the makings of being another torture porn release from the outset, with the group being taken one by one to the barn, were an audience of frenzied inbreds, watch on as pub landlord Jim, now dressed like a Papa Lazarou tribute act which is kind of fitting seeing how “The League of Gentlemen” is a definite close relation of this film.

At the centre of this rabid mob of locals Jim is clearly the one calling the shots acting not only as the voice of authority when it comes to pursing the group, but also leading the grotesque Cabaret style variety show they hold in the barn. O’Neill is truly a revelation in this role with his broad accent and booming voice, he true embodies the role while never dominating the film, as his banter with several of the other colourful villagers ensures that they all get chance to shine in all their repulsive glory. Meanwhile the teens are by the large your typical mix with a spattering of characterisation for colour, while their care workers are essentially polar opposites of each other with Kate (Hartley) being keen to work with the kids on their level while also processing a surprisingly feisty streak, while Jeff (Doherty) is the dorky disciplinarian and ultimately marks himself out as an easy first kill. Elsewhere we also get a opening cameo from Emily Booth, who here continues in her bid to establish herself as a horror starlet as she takes a break from trying to be the British Elvira on “The Horror Channel”. Ultimatly this cameo is so overacted, even for the fake film she is supposed to be staring in it is left largely forgettable, unlike a surprising cameo by Mat Fraser which threatens to steal the film as one of the villagers complaining about the declining in standards of showmanship being used, while his naturally short arms (the result of a genetic condition known as Phocomelia) only adding to his onscreen presence as he combats the issue of holding a hammer by simply strapping it to his arm.

The gore however is were the film really comes into it’s own with director Alex Chandon, combining a mixture of old school effects and CGI to really paint the screen crimson, as we are treated to exploding heads, torture by vegetables and even death by shire horse to name but a few of the numerous gory highlights. Needless to say if gore is not your thing then this won’t be one for you, but for the gorehounds they will no doubt find much to enjoy especially in the sheer terms of creative ways he has found to maim and kill various members of the cast over the course of the movie. However the real strength here is with the pitch black vein of humour which runs throughout the film, which features such fun moments as the questionable pork scratchings served at the dirty hole, which come in the varieties of Hairy or Smelly, while the humour is used to never turn the film into farce and ensuring that your wincing and laughing at the same time. Equally memorably is the villagers folk song, which is so catchy I have found myself still singing it days after seeing the film, thanks to it’s random appearances throughout including the villagers taking a break from attacking the farm house to sing a few verses, while possibly being the only murderous mob to have their own banjo player!

Okay while this weeks new movie review might not perhaps be a new movie per say, seeing how it has skipped the theatres outside of a handful of horror festivals and only now ended up on direct to DVD release, it still makes for a ghoulish Halloween treat, while the former shame of having the film released like this is far from a bad thing, especially as it has been proven many times in the past that this is not exactly the kiss of death it might once have been considered especially with the DVD market now holding as much sway as the theatre takings. Just look at “Family Guy” or “Futurama” both pronounced dead shows, only to be resurrected on the strength of their DVD sales. I can only hope that this film now finally finds its audience on DVD as it is a genuine cult classic in the making while also being one of the most original and inventive British horror films since “The Kill List”.

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Chillerama

April 14, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame

≪ Previous: Inbred

Title: Chillerama

Director: Adam Green, Joe Lynch, Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan
Released: 2011
Starring: Adam Rifkin, Sarah Mutch, Owen Benjamin, Ray Wise, Eric Roberts, Miles Dougal, Lin Shaye, Sean Paul Lockhart, Anton Troy, Gabby West, Adam Robitel, Ron Jeremy, Tim Sullivan, Thomas C. Colby-Dog, Joel David Moore, Kristina Klebe, Kane Hodder, Jim Ward, Richard Riehle, Corey Jones, Kaili Thorne, Brendan McCreary, Ward Roberts

Plot: It’s the closing night of the last drive-in theatre in America and owner Cecil B. Kaufman has decided to go out with a bang by holding a marathon of cinematic trash for his faithful cinephile patrons. Unknown to them though is the fact that one of the staff has contracted a zombie virus through some ill-advised necrophilia, ensuring this is going to be nothing short of a memorable closing night.

Review: While many may have hailed Eli Roth as the saviour of the horror genre, a title which he has sadly failed to live up to, especially considering how he is more concerned with taking on producing duties these days than sitting in the directors chair, as only further highlighted by the gap between “Hostel 2” and the forthcoming “The Green Inferno”. Infact if anyone could be branded as a saviour for the genre, I would personally venture that it would have to be Adam Green, whom since unleashing “Hatchet” has only feverishly continued to add to the genre, as he followed it up with not only a sequel to this debut, but also the critically acclaimed “Frozen” which showed that he was more than another splatter director.More surprisingly though he has also givin us the horror version of “The Big Bang Theory” with “Holliston” which he also stars in with fellow horror director and best friend Joe Lynch, who unsurprisingly is also on hand to direct a segment here.

Now the unholy twosome join forces with Adam Rifkin and Tim Sullivan to create this horror comedy anthology, an idea originally devised by Rifkin and Sullivan as a weekly show for MTV, only for it to fall through due to the increased popularity in reality shows. Now recruiting Green and Lynch to their cause it finally makes it to the screen in movie form and I was eager to see how it stood up alongside the classic Anthologies which came before it like “Tales From The Darkside” and “Creepshow”, aswell as the knowing nods to B-movie culture much like we saw with the criminally separated “Grindhouse” whose double feature format failed to make it out of the States as it was released internationally as two separate films.

Comprised of four films with each director getting their own chance to craft their own vision, as they give us here

Wadzilla (directed by Adam Rifkin) – A monster sized man eating sperm goes on a rampage through New York.

I Was a Teenage Werebear (directed by Tim Sullivan) – The sole musical entry in the film, set in 1962 were Ricky (Lockheart) a closet gay discovers a mysterious gang, who also happen to turn into leather daddy werebears when aroused.

The Diary of Anne Frankenstein (directed by Adam Green) – The secret attempt by Hitler (Moore) to create the perfect killing machine to help turn the tide of the war, while in turn giving the world his Jewish Frankenstein Meshugannah (Hodder)

Zom-B-Movie (directed by Joe Lynch) – The main meat of the film, which is intercut with the other films, as sex crazed zombies invade the drive through while ensuring the film end with a suitably splatter soaked finale

As you can see it is a real mixed bag on offer here in terms of style and ideas, yet all keep within the general theme the film shows….one that it would seem drenched in bodily fluids and gore, served up with a heavy dose of warped humour, which is not a bad thing and certainly gives the bad taste aficionados plenty to enjoy. The downside though is that like “Four Rooms” the level of talent on offer here is varying to say the least, resulting in a film which is frequently uneven in places as the standard shifts from piece to piece with Green and Lynch easily having the stronger segments, with their experience of working in the genre really coming into play, with Lynch’s “Zom-B-Movie” throwing out cheeky nods to the zombie genre left, right and centre while seemingly also attempting to top the splatter finale of Peter Jackson’s legendry “Braindead” while at the same giving it a sex comedy style twist which has to be seen to be believed. Meanwhile Green’s twist on Frankenstein is so over the top that despite the high potential to cause offence by poking fun at what could essentially be volatile subject matter, is quickly put to rest by the ever increasing levels of randomness, which has a real Mel Brooks feel to it as the film self acknowledges its own stupidity, even having cast step outside of the sets and actors suddenly being replaced by questionable looking dummies.

Sadly were the film hits a major bump is with “I Was A Teenage Werebear” which attempts to give us “Grease” via the way of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”, which is a dangerous idea to begin with when you consider that even Richard O’Brian couldn’t create a sequel to beat his creation, so it is essentially destinted to fail from the start as any number of tepid stage versions trying to capture the magic of the film have only further proven. The main problem here is not so much with the plot, which embraces carefree gay love, aswell as the confusion for a young man still forced to live in the closet, all great themes to see being used and obviously ideas close to the heart of the segments director seeing how Sullivan himself is openly gay (and rather keen to drop this fact in for any promotional material for the film). What lets this segment down is instead the weak collection of forgettable songs being warbled by the cast. None of these song I have to confess would have me rushing to buy the soundtrack, which has been optimistically released alongside the film, while Sullivan has also hinted at a full length stage version, something else that I’m not exactly on tender hooks to see, especially as this segment is only just bearable, thanks to some over the top and frequently original splatter.

One thing which stuck with me about this film though is the continuous obsession with bodily fluids, as the film seems to take any opportunity to ensure that all feature in some form or another with “Wadzilla” with its giant sperm and tidal wave cum shots ensuring that it comes off like a more light hearted version of the body shocker “Bad Biology”. Still the bad taste aficionados amongst you will no doubt appreciate the sheer effort which has been put into this film to ensure that they are all covered for your viewing pleasure, which includes a scatological themed “Deathication”. Thankfully its not a theme which overshadows the whole film, but one which certainly crops up enough to be noticeable.

While the segments might vary greatly in quality and style, the strength of “The Diary of Anne Frankenstein” and “Zom-B-Movie” prove to be more than enough to cover for the weaker parts of the film. At the same time while watching this I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing the audience element which no doubt has made this such a popular film on the horror festival circuit and as such I would recommend watching this with a group of like-minded friends to get the full effect intended.

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